Swiftcurrent Creek and I am beholden to no gods here.

Even as the days passed and new routines were formed, the guilt and grief never lessened. Every night his dreams still held only Liri--something he had not told Myrren, knowing it would upset her more than she already was. Plus, it didn't really change anything--He loved Liri, but he had a responsibility to the soon-to-be mother of his children now. He had irreparably wronged her in more ways than just making her a mother when it was the last thing she wanted, and he was done messing up. 

Every morning, he woke to the same crushing guilt that was his constant partner. It was what plagued Kavik's thoughts as he made his way along the border searching for something to distract him from the mess he had made. He always kept up a stoic front for Myrren, feeling like she needed him to be strong and supportive rather than the heap of guilt and sadness that he actually was. Solitary patrols were the only time he really allowed himself to wallow in his self-loathing. 

As he walked, he tried to focus on the rhythmic sound of his paws in the snow, but he was having a hard time focusing on anything but his abhorrent thoughts. He knew it was because Ruenna had recently left the creek, and he had taken her departure harder than he thought he would. It had been comforting to know that he had someone else on his side here. He paused and looked towards the mountains, silently hoping that she was doing okay wherever she was. He whipped his towards the howl the moment it rang out through the winter air. Liri. He would recognize that voice anywhere. Relief washed over him, but it was just as quickly overshadowed by panic. Now he would really have to face the consequences of his mistake. He would give anything not to have to see the look on her face when she found out what he had done. Still, after all the searching and despair, he would finally be able to see that she was okay. 

When his eyes finally settled on her tiny form standing near the borders, his heart began to race. His stomach churned painfully, and he had to swallow against the building nausea. She was skinny and--her damaged leg was gone? He couldn't even begin to imagine what she had been through. His love for her took control then, and before he realized what he was doing, he was closing the distance between them to push his face into the soft, white fur of her neck. I--though you were dead or lost, he whispered, shaking a little from the contradicting mix of emotions coursing through him currently. He knew he would need to tell her about how badly he had messed up, but it could wait a few seconds while he allowed himself a moment to appreciate the fact that she was here and alive. He would obliterate them both with his confession soon.