Stone Circle To you I’m probably a light sadness

Xan did not immediately noticed Laurel in the background. His mind was preoccupied, as were his eyes as they drifted steadily between his sister and Indra. He wanted so desperately to speak with the latter, to spill his guts in a manner that he was not familiar with, but he doubted how capable he was of doing so with Valette there; they were siblings but, despite having shared a womb so long ago, they were not that close. But he could see how he hurt her by being so dismissive and his ears flattened further against his head, nervous and uncertain. He had not meant to hurt her by trying to mend things with another but it seemed that, that was what he had done in the end (he wasn’t so sure that he enjoyed being exposed—he certainly wasn’t a fan of perceiving the feelings of others over his own). But, hey, it was hard to learn and grow when the better portion of your life was spent being a self-centered jackass.

“I—” Was it a trick? Was he allowed to talk to Indra over her, outside of her own home? “Can I… am I allowed to talk to her…?” Uncertainty was not something that he wore very well; the churning of his stomach and the increased pounding within his chest were things that he would never get used to, not in a million years. It made him feel terrible, like he should turn and run and hide just to get it all to stop—but wasn’t that what created this mess, to begin with? He couldn’t do it again.

“I want to talk to you both,” he added moments later. “Just... not together? Okay?” He couldn’t bring himself to do it. There were too many eyes on him, too many listening at once. No matter how he tried to form the words they just would not come, frightened off by the sheer fact that there were two of them—

—and then two turned to three as his eyes slid past the both of them, catching sight of Laurel in the distance. Her presence alone froze him right to the core and he felt something akin to a hunk of ice drop into his stomach. Suddenly, his throat felt dry and he swallowed a few times, trying to collect himself but it was to no avail. “I don’t know what I’m doing…” he murmured whilst averting his gaze to the ground, officially stuck. This wasn’t something that he knew how to do.