Raven's Watch from the ashes

"No, it's mine."

Bald-faced lies and treachery! Vlad's whiskery top lip twitched over his teeth. He assessed his own readiness for a fight - a beetle grub breakfast for strength and buckets of denial and adrenaline for any old man aches that might get in the way of victory. In other words: good to GO. But instead of showing teeth as was customary before engaging in a fight to the death, Maksim showed ..butt. 

"Bleurgh," Vlad gagged, recoiling. No self-respecting cub-crusher - or standard issue wolf, for that matter! - used its ass as a primary weapon. Perhaps Maksim had some kind of species dysmorphia. "Vai you ees fight beckvurd?" The old Russian grumbled. What a freakin' plum.