Otatso Wetlands I'm getting Hickeys from my Bedbugs

His astonishment brings her pause. 
She doesn't know how she learned to control them. The episode after she had returned home, when Surya rescued her, was terrifying. She couldn't imagine experiencing that every day. 
Almost shamefully she turns her paw over, revealing the red, irritated flesh around her Dewclaws. 
"The pain helps. I chew until I bleed, and then take care of it. It...it stops the thoughts. Then if I press my paw hard enough it makes it hurt again. Sometimes if the marks are too obvious I chew on thorns." Her eyes are downcast. No one else knew how much she tried to numb herself. About the herbs she had to take to keep the nightmares at Bay. About the fermented berries she ate till she vomited everything in her system and could barely walk. About how every waking moment away from the pack territories terrified her. And how she hid all of this behind a wink and a smile. "I can't...I can't fall apart. I have duties, and I can't go make a fool of myself in front of people. So I make it go away. I force myself to be in control... because if I don't...I'll go mad."