Two Eyes Cenote i'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired

there is a part of meseba that tells him it is not too late, to turn back. to keep the words and feelings like trapped wasps behind his teeth. but he recognizes that monologue is borne only of fear. and that fear, when death came for him, would only cause his heart to sink against Osiris' scale.

the timing is all wrong, but his future has never been a clear cut path. he did not know where the roads would lead him. thus far, they'd led him here. they'd led him to Osiris and Sopdet. stark had been afraid but meseba? meseba was meant to know what he wanted and to let it be spoken to the world.

regardless of what, if anything came of it.

eset rises to greet him and meseba's heart hammers so hard in his chest he fears Osiris might rise to claim it far too soon.

eset i — his voice is thick, cloyed with the things he has been trying to keep hidden. care for you. i have grown to have feelings for you, both were perfectly acceptable. but instead he rasps, gaze steadier than his uneven heartbeat. burn for you.

he holds his breath then, for a breadth of a moment, wrestling with the fact that he wasn't embarrassed even though that pessimistic voice tells him that he should be.

i have for some time now, he murmurs. i just ... needed you to know. in case the assassination attempt went south, in case he lost the nerve and never spoke of it again.