Black Morass All things devour

tag for ref :)

She did not see the good nature in it. That @Lorcan would not have robbed her of this purpose she so desperately itched for, she did not hear the crack of his voice as he made such a verdict, or the hesitation in those golden eyes, and if she had, she'd muddied it within her own thoughts by now, descending deeper and deeper. An act, everything was an act. Did this make it easier or harder? She did not know. She rationalized it in the only way she knew of.

Rejection. Envy did not love, not as she should've been able to; she loved the way a pack of dogs loved to tear apart a rabbit, and now the rabbit got away, into the ground where she could not follow.

She thought they'd all have come here together. That they wanted to stay with her, but no, no they did not. Oh all along they conspired, they waited for the best moment, a chance to slip away and cover their tracks behind them. She drew a pearly paw across her muzzle to mute whatever sad scowl fell onto it; a kicked puppy all out of venom.

Regret regret regret ate away at her mind; her tongue too sharp for her own good, jaws too quick to bite and too feral to speak, again she was met with vicious consequence. This indecision was eased at least by the weaving of threads, mending the hole each missing face left. I thought they were. She muttered. Stupid. Stupid.

She drew in a deep breath, all of it pushed behind her in a single moment. It would not be the last time she had such thoughts, but right now, she would turn them off with the flick of a metaphorical switch. She resented how it had made her head spin, how it had made a mess of her. Her scrawny figure would brush past Ione, pressing into her coat with her head and sliding by, her tail slithering under her neck. More than they left behind. What can I do? She asked, an eagerness on the tip of her tongue, mute, but still there.