Blacktail Deer Plateau waiting for superman

For @Peregrine <3 erm i'm going to assume this is after crete's thread with osprey just because i have no idea what's going to happen and i don't want to get the timeline too confused sooo, i'm leaving things vague. :p

One, two, three, four, five, Methodically Crete counted his steps. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Abruptly he turned and began to count once more. Pacing, Crete had discovered, was effective for working off tension, among other nagging emotions. It was not tension that gnawed mercilessly at his heart, making him feel rather …well sick. It was shame. Guilt. Horror at what he was about to do. A good brother would be happy, would follow Hawkeye obediently, would play nice with his brother’s mate -- obviously Crete was not a good brother in that case. Yet, he was tired. Tired of keeping his concerns locked tight within him, just because he didn’t want to rain on Peregrine’s parade, and (though this was harder to admit) because he was afraid of how Peregrine would react to the truth of Crete’s feelings. He had stayed in the darkness of his den for days, letting everything eat holes in his soul as he became a stubborn recluse, until he had been brought to this point. Pacing, unable to keep it in anymore. Peregrine could fly off the handle at him, throw him out exactly as Tyrannus had -- for judging Hawkeye, for disapproving of her leaving for days at a time, for the (more or less) fight he had gotten into with her; but if that was the case, Crete wasn’t going to let her get off scotch free for throwing Flightless Falcons back in his face, acting like she understood what had happened, for being petty because she couldn’t handle his concerns -- or whatever reason had caused her to aim a low blow at Crete.

Tyrannus’ exile had taught Crete a valuable life lesson. He was no one’s doormat - Alpha or not.

There was a chance that Crete, as an inherent worrier, was imagining scenarios wildly out of proportion, but he was weary never the less. Yet, it also wasn’t fair to keep his concerns from Peregrine, as his subordinate, but more importantly as his brother; because no matter what Peregrine would come to think of him in the coming hours, Crete would never leave his brother, and never intentionally hurt him. It wasn’t as if love could be so easily disregarded and thrown away. Love -- no matter what kind was shared -- didn’t work like that. Pacing ceased, sea green eyes staring forlorn at his paws, as he sucked in a deep breath. Head rose slowly, sunlight touching the fur along his muzzle. Leathery, black nostrils flared as he inhaled the scents around him, searching specifically for Peregrine’s. When Crete was certain he had grasped his littermate’s scent amidst the mingle of others, he began heading in that direction hoping that he would find Peregrine alone, without the presence of Hawkeye. Though she was the concern of what he needed to ‘speak’ to his brother about, the conversation did not require her, and Crete, frankly, did not want to have to deal with her attacking him verbally while he was trying to talk with Perry.

Crete was terrified that his future was so unclear -- that within in this conversation he could find himself packless, but it wasn't as if it would be the first time and there was a cruel sort of comfort in that.

table by houkie