Blacktail Deer Plateau venus in fear

for@Blue Willow

set directly after this <3

lasher returned to a world of ghosts.

his face, stained with tears, beheld the quiet borders. dante had departed, torn asunder by the disappearance of osprey, and the beta firmly believed he had loved the silvery wolfess. the pack would be kept smoothly running beneath the capable rule of the beta pair. taltos wept. he bit his lip to keep the sobs from the ears of his impressionable children, and swept into the healer's clearing, seeking her embrace.

"junior is dead," lasher choked bitterly.

Blue had wondered at where Lasher had been, assuming that he was merely hunting for the growing pack members. She tilted her head and moved about when she heard him coming nearer to their home. It was with heavy heart she met him, both for love of her home and her best friend. Osprey was missing, gone without a trace, and Blue did not know what to do, or where to go from here. She was not sure if she could handle any more that the gods saw fit to deem her with. They were already testing her lose tendrils of mind and heart. She was fast becoming a beaten woman.

Blue turned towards him and her eyes went wide. What? Did you find her? Who told you of this? Please tell me she did not kill herself?

blue willow's shock deepened lasher's nausea; he leant upon her neck and steadied himself against the hot flow of tears. "peregrine," he whispered, unable to speak but that name before his lips trembled. fighting for composure, the beta pulled back and gazed skyward momentarily. "junior attempted to kill one of fox's pups; she was slaughtered by her own father for it. he justifies it, willow," the man hissed, pulling away. "he could have mauled her and spared her life, but he killed his own child for that of fox. she is behind this. i want vengeance for her life; i loved her as if she were my own."

Blue leant her own back to his clear grief and pain. She stared at him, green eyes wide in shocked face. A small gasp of surprise left her at his words, and she backed up. Searching his face, unsure what to say. wha..oh my goodness. Oh my goodness! Have you found Dante to tell him? Oh my goodness! Why....wha.... SHe felt her breath catch and she gasped out a panic and grief filled cry. Then she lifted her muzzle back and howled as loud as she could, letting all the pain everything out. She was not even caring if she woke the world, or just her children. She moved away from him and paced restlessly around the clearing....Junior dead? Killed by her own father, mauled for her anger. I don't know what to say Lasher. I am honestly at a loss? I don't know what to think or feel or do? I just...why would he do that? Granted we would kill someone they attacked our own children, but i honestly do not know if I could kill my own child. SHe flopped down to her haunches, breath heavily as her eyes heavily lidded filled with hearty tears. She did not eve hear his want for vengeance, far to lost to hear it.

he shut his eyes against the sudden keening of his mate, her voice filled with shock and pain. the pack would know now, would know of the monster their former leader had become. he looked at her as she paced heavily, weighted with the dark revelation. had he not said the same? "i have not seen dante yet; i came straightaway to you. i could not slay one of ours, either. peregrine seemed to believe i was weak for it, for not agreeing that his murder of junior was warranted."

"she was but a child, tortured by her mother's abandonment and then that of her father. peregrine brings this on himself!" lasher snarled. "he set up his former children against his current babes; i am glad that the child is not dead, but he saw fit to sacrifice junior in the child's place. fuck him," the beta spat then, though he rarely cursed in such a manner. he fell silent, alternately seething and aching with pain.

Blue was in shock, she just sat there unmoving and staring at Lasher as he spoke. It took a few minutes for everything to come to her. So she was a bit slow on the uptake, her mind and heart a bit numb with both grief, loss, anger, confusion and pain. The Perry she had known, he could have never killed any of his own. She looked at Lasher and spoke quietly, Why would you be weak for loving your children enough not to be able to kill them? Our children would not kill another anyway, that I know for sure. Junior was a deeply troubled little girl, deeply troubled. Blue whined softly, fighting to think through the haze of grief that plagued her mind.

Blue stared at Lasher in surprise the curse words rolling off his tongue easily. Realizing he was much more affected than she, probably because he had been told himself, she was being told second hand. She stood swiftly and padded over to him licking his face and rubbing her muzzle across his back, trying to lend what strength she could to his aching heart. I think it is going to take me some time to completely get my head wrapped around this. I honestly don't know whether I am more angry, more sad, or a mixture of both so profound I can't think straight. Perry seems to be making one bad decision after another and I for one blame Fox. That terrible little she wolf. Though Perry also bears the blame, for he is old enough to make his own choices and clearly he is doing so, and terribly.

her searching caresses calmed him somewhat; like a harried stallion he stopped his champing and pacing and stood quietly beneath her ministrations. "of course she is to blame, the demonness, the she-bitch! but peregrine -- peregrine i shall never forgive. may he die a horrible death and his children be scattered to the farthest reaches of the earth."

"i will avenge junior, blue willow," taltos snarled, pulling away from his lover to paw fruitlessly at the earth. "i do not know the manner of it, nor the time, but i shall not let her end be at the teeth of a murderer and his pack."

Blue breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he quieted. Feeling that maybe he was beginning to feel at least a little better. She still wasn't sure what to say or do, honestly she was reeling on the inside. She was warring between horror and trying to understand. She knew very much what it was like to love your children, to want to hurt whoever hurt them, but your own child...and to watch as your family hurt them....she just didn't understand. Why didn't they chase her away, rather than kill her. For that matter why didn't Perry think, Junior practically hated him and then she just showed up. It did not take a fool to figure out the pieces.

Blue stared at Lasher at the arsenic that dipped from pretty tongue. Lasher, why would you wish more death? He does not deserve to be forgiven perhaps, but a horrible death. Wouldn't you rather he lived with his suffering? Unless you think he does not suffer. I do not understand this..this violence from anyone. It makes no sense to me. She grew quiet and looked around trying to figure it all out.


Blue studied him sadly, but she nodded. I will not stop you Lasher, but please understand I also will not help you do the deed. I will be here to help you when you come home, and to listen if you wish to talk about it, but I can't help you kill anyone. Nor do I condone it, but you and I are different wolves, and you must do this how you see fit. It just about killed Blue to say all of that, but it was true, she would not help him. Was horrified that he was going to kill or attempt to kill Peregrine, but she also knew that she would be unable to stop him even if she tried.

he nodded, suddenly weary. deflated. "i would not ask such a thing of you, my willow," he murmured, though he was rather stung she had ever assumed he would want her to kill, let alone a man who had once been her brother. peregrine -- perhaps he remained thus in her heart. "as long as he is able to justify his actions, he will not suffer for them." but it was a moot point -- he would not speak of his intentions to the sable woman again. it caused her too much sorrow.

stepping toward her, he brushed the top of her head with his lips. lasher was silent, brooding, but wished to allay her fears. "i will speak with dante first," he whispered, knowing full well the silver king would forbid any action.

whether or not taltos heeded would be his own affair.

Blue licked his face, realizing she had hurt his feelings, but not understanding how. She warred with indecision for a moment, and finally spoke softly. I'm sorry my love. We are both dealing with some heavy emotions and I think that we are both having a hard time expressing them. And it's causing undue rest. I know you would not ask me such of thing. And I should not have said such a thing. I am glad you come to me to talk of such things and I would not have you change that. I think it was just surprise. I do not know how I will act around him, if I should see him again. She leaned against her lover heavily. Her mind in turmoil, to match the beat of her heart. Everything was so wrong, it had bee nsince he met Fox. Though Blue knew it should not, she felt hatred stri in her breast for such a little harlot as that. She would rather have fox be killed than Peregrine, for as far as she was concerned all the blame or at least most of it lied with the little woe begotten lady of the night that had tricked him and ensnared him with her charms. She was nothing worse than a siren.

because she knew his heart, blue willow knew what had perturbed him, and spoke upon it at once. "we are both very tense," he agreed, offering an unspoken forgiveness though she did not need to request it. he leant against her as well, and for a long moment was silent, drawing strength from her very presence, the warm pressure of her body curved into his own.

at the idea that peregrine would look upon blue willow again, lasher stiffened perceptibly, and then spoke as he forced the tension from his body. "i cannot and will not command you, blue willow, but i intend to keep our children from him. i do not trust him." on this would he be firm, but he desperately prayed that the healer would not argue the point.

Blue sighed softly. His quiet words silencing her own demons and questions. She would be lying if she said she wasn't tense or worried or well everything all at once. Blue didn't move, simply shifted to offer herself and him a more comfortable stance. And it was with worry knitting her brow she stood still. It felt as if her whole world was about ot change and she didn't know how she felt about it.

Blue whined softly, I had so hoped that our children could grow together at least play together. But you are right. It is probably not the best to bring them together. I would certainly hope he wouldn't attack someone elses child, but if he can kill his own, regardless of circumstances. He probably won't search me out ever again though Lasher. I need to realize this. I lost the brother I love months ago. She sighed again softly and licked the underside of his chin. Her heart feeling as if it was quaking in her breast.

he moved to bring her closer, his heart panging at the pain apparent in her voice, her very eyes. "i had wished the same, my willow," he breathed in grim tones, emotion threatening to flood the edges of his vision with bitter salt. for too long he had blamed fox, and while he held her responsible still for peregrine's change, the panther had taken junior's death upon his head, and lasher would never forgive him for such a thing.

"our children will be better reared here, upon the plateau, away from the caldera's influences." at this point, taltos was unsure he even wished finley to visit, much as he cared for the wild blackthorn. the redhawk wolves were united beneath fox and peregrine, and therefore unwelcome in his heart. "i am sorry he has lost himself to you, blue willow. he has done the same for me."

Blue Willow sighed softly and didn't move at first, but finally she shifted her weight and gave her lover a gently lick to the underside of his face. the only point she could reach from her current position. THen with a look around, she moved and dipped her head. I better get to looking for some more herbs. Will you please come with me? I don't really want to be alone today, and I don't want to burden our children with my sadness. She looked up at him, hoping he would come with, but she wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't. He too had much to work through.

wrap up with your next post?

he embraced her, kissed her. "of course. i do not wish to be alone either." though his body felt suddenly heavy, lasher gathered himself to his paws and stood alongside the willow, their pelts brushing, melding, and smiled at her as he awaited her lead.

Lasher agree and Blue willow let out the air she hadn't known she was holding. pleased that he would accompany her, truthfully she wanted to give into the despair and just sleep or lay down. But she knew that it would be a bad idea. So she forced herself to walk on her paws towards the outskirts of their pack. To look for what she needed come winter time.