Bearclaw Valley Where are you now, Are you lost? Will I find you again?

@Onyx Saefyn here we go! Thread number 5!

He was a mess, anxious and on edge, blue eyes almost electric with the feral crazed look in their depths. He hadn't eaten in two days, hadn't laid down to rest for more than two hours at a time. She'd been missing for two days and two nights, this was day three and he was losing it. The silent one hadn't been home either, which he guessed may have been why Onyx had been gone so long. Perhaps after the hunt she'd decided to search the area for the quiet girl that she seemed to feel close to.

Either way, whatever reason, she had been gone too long for him to rest easy. He shoved himself up and out of the den, heading toward the valley's entrance where he would go searching. His heart beat too quickly and his stomach felt ill, breath coming in short pants as he began to panic before even exiting the territory. What if she was hurt or worse? what if I failed yet another woman in my life?.. the thought brought a low groan from his lips as he walked.

Her paws hurt. Her muscles were sore. She dragged herself across the plains, across the bright snow, over rivers. Yet it was her thoughts that ate at her. Tore at her soul. Set her heart on fire. Doubts soared. Should she go back? She had stayed away on purpose, agitation clear to anyone who saw her.

The snow crunched underneath her paws, yet it was not because of her weight. She stomped the pure whiteness, hating it with every fiber of her being. It reminded her that she was not pure. She was used. Broken. Dirty. The last word screamed in her mind and to shake it, she stopped in her tracks and snarled, a very rare sight. She was tired of this. Tired of being...

Broken. Used up. Confused.

Shaking her coat, a moan rose from her throat. She hurt. Inside and out. She would have to hurt the ones she loved. Mawk. Cebra. Dakarai. 

Reigi.

Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of her new friend. Tears of pain, sadness...Anger. a low rumble grew in her chest. She was pissed. Why her? She had smelt him and her. She saw the blood...and fur. Rage surged through her, and she snorted, the poisonous scent still lingering. Fear was there, too. And as she grew close, it grew, surpassing the rage. 

Passing the rock that Reigi usually sat on, a low whine escaped her muzzle as sadness  ran through her. Where WAS she? 

She tore her gaze from it and faltered in her steps as before her was the man that she loved, the one who she would have to break his heart. Her footsteps became as if she were going through a thick bog. Her eyes betrayed her, as did her tail. Hanging her head, she spoke the name that she didn't think would ever speak again.

Hello, Dakarai.

Almost like she had teleported, the one he yearned for stood before him. His breath caught in his throat and he stared eyes sweeping her for wounds of physical nature before he saw the wounded look in her eyes. Yet even though he yearned to step forward and embrace her, to simply revel in the fact that she was back home and not hurt or dead he would bring himself to. He was hurt now. How could she walk in and greet him "Hello Dakarai" as if she hadn't been gone for almost three days. 

His eyes flashed with hurt and anger and relief all at once his features twisting before crumpling again and he just sat down. "How was the hunt Onyx?" his voice sounded hollow even to him, the accusation there. She hadn't gone out to hunt, that didn't take three days to do. She'd been elsewhere but where he didn't know. He lifted his pain filled eyes to her face and stared her down. He wouldn't leave it till he got an answer.

As he looked over her, she couldn't hold his gaze. Dropping it to the ground, a low whine fell from her lips. She was already hurting him. Tearing from the inside out, her breath came fast and shallow. Why had she come back? Was it the right choice? 

Then his voice rang in her ears, and her ears went back against her skull in fear, and she wrapped her tail around herself as if it would protect her. She lifted her head, and her gaze locked with his. Seeing the emotions, the dam finally burst, hot tears streaming down. She couldn't catch her breath, and yet a single word whispered from her throat.

Olive.

When she seemed to curl into herself in fear his gaze widened and he opened his mouth to apologise. He hadn't meant to scare her, he'd never hurt her surely she knew that? But before he could speak, she did, uttering a single name, the only name that could break him in that moment. He froze still gaping and stared at her, flanks heaving as his thoughts raced. Couldn't he ever get away from that woman? Her name haunted him everywhere he went, his relationship with her caused him grief every time he tried to get away. 


Finally he spoke up his voice a trembling whisper "Why...why were you with her? I can't ever escape her can I? No matter what I do, Olive always seems to haunt me." his eyes were filled with grief, fear, and anger. Yet despite how absolutely pissed off he was with Olive, he wanted to know how she was fairing. "Onyx...don't cower like that Love..I won't hurt you" he spoke again and took a tentative step forward, trying to reign in his emotions before this got worse.

She saw him freeze and cringed, her ears still down. Swallowing hard, she yearned to go to him, but fear still held her, his outburst reminding her of Lonzo. Her breath was still shallow as she watched him from the corner of her eye.

She heard his voice, and her eyes immediately dropped, instincts taking over. His whisper cracked her soul, and a low whine of fear and sadness sighed from her lips. She had hurt him, yet she couldn't move to go to him. What was wrong with her? Probably the last times she would see him, and she couldn't move. Not looking up at him, she didn't need to see his eyes  to know what were in them. His soothing voice washed over her, and even as she tried to contain it, silent tears rolled down her cheek. 

Love.

He had called her what she had wanted all her life, and she was willing to give it up. Involuntarily flinching, her voice broke as she tried to talk. Shaking her head, her eyebrows furrowed as she opened her mouth and started talking slowly, her voice having only a slight tremble. I'm...I'm sorry. Lon...He used to do that. I..I didn't mean to flinch. I know you wouldn't... She trailed off, finally raising her eyes to his, the agony and fear clearly barely contained. I...I'm sorry. Please don't go. I..I don't know if I can be alone.

She continued to flinch away from him and he faltered in his approach,tail tucking between his legs as he feared what he'd done. He'd accidentally reminded her of Lonzo. The knowledge that he'd scared her that badly caused his ears to flatten back against his head, sorrow making him look like a kicked puppydog. 

Then she looked at him and begged him to stay and he gave a low whine, moving toward her slowly on his belly and hesitantly touching his nose to hers. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be going off to find Olive. To tell her that she's my past, to...to confront her on her part in the sorrows of my life" he spoke as calmly as he could though he feared what Olive may have said to her. "I'll never be like Lonzo. I yelled...I yelled because I've been scared these few days. First the quiet one goes missing and then you vanish while hunting. I was so scared that you were hurt or worse...I..I thought i failed to protect you...i thought I lost you" his voice shook and he stuttered, trying to keep his voice gentle despite the mess of emotions inside him. "And you walked in and greeted me like nothing happened. I was so relieved but...I was hurt. That you hadn't come home to warn me you were going away for a bit. You just...let me worry.." he trailed off and pressed his forehead to her shoulder, his own tears dripping at this point. For a man he sure did cry openly.

As she watched him crawl to her, memories of the first time he did it came washing back. The feelings blossomed in her chest, making the whole situation harder. His nose on hers, she closed her eyes, wishing time would stop. Just. Stop.

For a little bit?

She knew it wouldn't last, but it still was bittersweet, and she tucked he memory away for....later. He began talking, and she froze for a moment at the mention of her, yet cupped ears towards him, wet eyes shining into his. Tears rolled again as she heard his voice, and a whine poured out of her maw. He was breaking her, and he didn't know. Her tears mixed with his as she bent down, and she gently licked his tears. 

Furrowing her eyebrows, she nuzzled him then sat up as she heard his words. She flicked her ears then a bolt of terror and extreme pain went through her eyes, quickly covered up by a soft look down at him. Resting her head on his neck, she spoke quietly, her voice matching her eyes only moments before.

I.. wasn't going to come back.

She left the words hang in the air, and breathed in his scent...just in case.

As his tears fell free he breathed in her scent, wincing at the faintest traces of Olive that he caught upon her. As she began to lick away his tears he closed his eyes, for a moment his mind going quiet as he enjoyed the sensation. She nuzzled him and pulled away and he too sat up, focusing on her as she spoke again. A simple sentence that confused him and did more than hurt, this immediate pain was like agony. She wasn't going to come back to him? She was going to abandon him too? Just like Olive...Olive! She must have said something to cause this. "What did she say to you Onyx? Olive. What...what did she tell you of me?" his voice was hoarse, as he turned away from her. He was so angry again, so hurt, so scared.

His voice made a pained noise fall from her maw, but she clamped her jaw down, cutting off the noise. He didn't need to hear that. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and spoke, trying to make her voice steady and failing.

It wasn't her idea. I..

She paused, then hesitantly rose, taking a step towards the sight she hated seeing..his turned back. Raising her paw, she then dropped it, her voice following suit. Did she tell him the reason or not? She shook her head. She said...you aren't reliable.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Olive really said he was unreliable? She knew why he hadn't been able to return for so long and had seen him crawl back to her body so weak he was dying because he was still trying to make good on his promise. "The woman I took beatings for, starved myself for, and lost my memories for says I'm unreliable. It's nice to know just how twisted she really is, who I was really in love with. The snake beneath that beautiful body." His voice started out bitter and cold before it cracked and he turned back to look at her, standing up. "I'm going to her. I'll hunt her down and confront her and I'll be back within the day. Please.....don't believe what she said Onyx, I have no idea why she's lying to everyone and denying what she did wrong."

@Xan You can come in anytime. They are at the entrance. :)

As he began to speak, she cupped her ears forward. The bitterness of his voice drove regret through her. She shouldn't have went to her. Shaking her head, she stepped towards him slowly and nuzzled him, her voice soft.

I don't. As it fell from her lips, I knew it as a lie. Please be careful. Pausing, she locked eyes with him, her eyes pleading. Don't hurt her. Promise me, Dakarai. Promise. Her voice matched her eyes, almost urgently.

He nuzzled her back,placing a few gentle kisses against her maw before simply resting his head on top of hers. "I would never hurt a woman unless they attack me. Even then unless I feared my life I'd aim to put them down instead of hurting them. I promise I won't hurt her." the fact that she'd even had to ask him to promise took him aback.  Did he really seem angry enough to cause harm to his ex wife? He shook his head and separated himself from her, licking her cheeks soothingly. "I'll be back soon, I promise. Nothing violent will happen." he murmured and then turned and began to head toward the exit of the territory.

As the dark individual made his way towards the exit, Alexander was just entering the valley. He’d ventured out to strengthen the scent markings surrounding the valley’s walls, as well as clear his mind. So quickly had things changed from good to bad that he felt as if his home was cursed—was Bearclaw Valley destined to bring him nothing but pain? He did not want to believe it, for there were just as many positive memories to counter the negative ones. It was life, he decided, unfair and cruel but also kind—kind when it counted, when he needed it the most. Yet, those thoughts did not soothe him, not entirely, as his friend was still missing and the gradual fading of her scent made him feel things that he didn’t care to experience.

Xan hadn’t ventured far beyond the entryway when he spotted Onyx and Dakarai. He gave a stiff nod to the both of them and slowed to catch anything they might say but, should he not be addressed with anything more than a greeting, he would continue on his way.

She smiled slightly at the kisses, yet her heart ached as she no longer felt his touch. As she watched Dakarai walk away, that alpha strode by and, with a regretful lurch in her stomach, she realized that she had not spoken to him about his...whatever she was. Nodding a greeting, she hesitated, then spoke, her stance submissive. Her voice carried worry and a touch of urgency. Sir, may I speak with you for a moment? It's something that you need to know. She held her breath, hoping he would listen. The woman's absence had weighed heavily on her as the days increased in number that she was not there.