Stone Circle [M] i wanna stand up

Mature Content Warning

This thread has been marked as mature. By reading and/or participating in this thread, you acknowledge that you are of age or have permission from your parents to do so.

The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: Mentions of rape.

For anyone who hasn't met Red yet! Takes place before Red and Clary go to visit Sunspire!

Red wandered the territory of Easthollow, deciding that if she was going to live here, she might as well explore the area as much as possible. She’d come across a forest of aspen trees and was now weaving her way between them, brushing against some of the trunks to leave her scent. Although she wasn’t much one for border patrol, she at least did small things like this to ensure that any outsiders would know that there was a pack here. She looked around, glad that she had her sense of smell to lead her out of this forest, for all the trees looked the same and could easily leave one feeling disoriented.

Ever since Mawk and Howl had brought her back here she had done barely anything more than hide inside of her den. She hadn't even seen her own children yet. She was afraid to step close to the borders at first but as time went by she began to get fed up with her own fear and mind...or lack thereof. This was supposed to be her home, where she had family and a husband and friends but she couldn't even remember who she was. When the hiding got to be too much she decided to leave the den and forced herself to head to the borders. She kept at a distance at first, sniffing around trees and hesitantly rubbing against a few of them to leave her place amongst the pack though she still wondered if she belonged here anymore. As her still too thin sides pressed against a tree she spotted a red furred female up ahead and hesitantly followed after her, golden eyes merely watching for the moment as she trailed her.

Focus wasn't the best thing going for her lately and as she trailed the female she placed her paw down on a twig, lowered her weight and snapped it. The sound seemed to echo five times as loud as it actually was to Cebra and she froze, breath halting in her throat and eyes going wide. Her one ear flattened and she tucked her tail, shrinking down and looking like she expected the female to retaliate with a good beating.

Red turned her head at the sound, and then turned fully around to find the source of the snapped twig. There, cowering on the ground, was a female wolf. Red’s brows drew together in confusion and concern. Was this a trespasser or something? Why was she so afraid. “Hey…” the russet-furred wolf began, wondering what to do in this awkward situation. She gave a tentative sniff to the air. Hmm. Well, the female certainly smelled like part of Easthollow, though there were unfamiliar smells in there too. “Uhh, are you okay?” Red wasn’t really sure what else to say or do. She didn’t want to get closer in case the other female bolted. “Are — are you hurt?”

The tension locked her muscles up as the red furred woman approached, though she risked a look upward and saw nothing but concern upon the stranger's features. The woman smelled of Easthollow which was comforting, this was her home after all right? Keeping this in mind she slowly stood up, ear rising as she regarded the other curiously and apprehensively. "No I'm alright....just instinct i guess. I'm illecebra" She said and stared at the female, hoping to see some sort of recognition. Maybe this woman could tell her something about herself, maybe they had been friends here at one point.

sorry for these short-ass posts

Red felt relieved that there was nothing seriously wrong with this female, although her reaction was still concerning. She kept this strange interaction in the back of her mind to ask Valette about later. If one of Easthollow’s pack members wasn’t feeling right, the alpha needed to know. Of course, maybe she already did, but it wouldn’t hurt to go and talk to her about it.

“I’m Red,” the fire-coated wolf said, smiling warmly. “Nice to meet you.” She was hoping to put the other woman at ease. “I just joined fairly recently. Have you been here long?” She sat down, indicating that she was ready for a long conversation if it turned into one.

Red. The name didn't ring a single bell and Cebra gave a weary sigh. She realized she was frowning and quickly gave a half hearted smile.  "It fits you. Nice to meet you too" she said kindly but her face lost all semblance of happiness when she was asked how long she had been here. Was she expected to count her time before Lonzo? Should she just act like a new member? But Mawk wasn't new and this woman may know her husband. She hesitated and looked so obviously lost "I...I don't know."she whispered and stared at the dirt.

“You don’t know,” Red repeated, in a half-whisper. She was becoming increasingly concerned now. She had thought perhaps that Illecebra was fine, as in, maybe there was nothing actually wrong with her. The problem was that now the woman was looking lost and confused and… and she didn’t know how long she’d been a part of Easthollow. Red’s brows furrowed in worry, alarm slowly building in her chest. She felt responsible for this wolf now, even though she barely knew her, had just met her. “Can I ask…” She hesitated. “Can I ask if you know why you… why you don’t know?” A pause, and then she shook her head. “That was worded oddly. Why don’t you know how long you’ve been here? Can you not remember?” Her tone was not accusatory, but instead full of worry, like a parent fussing over an injured child.

In Red's eyes she saw the same worry and concern she always saw in Mawk's, the sort of look she took to be pity and she hated it. It made her feel like a burden to be fussed over and worried about constantly, She wondered if it had always been this way. Was she always someone that had to be taken care of? She was slowly realizing that it didn't matter, she didn't want to be that way now. Her eyes flashed and she responded with brutal honesty "I was kidnapped and raped by a man named Lonzo. Because of that I cannot remember a single thing besides my name and what i've been told. Mawk is my husband, I have children here, I've lived her for a while. I just...Don't know the fine details." she winced at the snappiness of her own tone but remained silent after that, golden eyes finally wandering toward the other's face to reign in her reaction to this news.

Mature Content Warning

This thread has been marked as mature. By reading and/or participating in this thread, you acknowledge that you are of age or have permission from your parents to do so.

The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: Mentions of rape.

Red was shocked, and felt a jolt down her spine from this information. She felt the beginnings of a flinch, and immediately squashed it, transforming her face into a blank mask. This also came with problems because it would make her look like she didn’t give a shit about this woman’s problems, but she figured that was better than flipping out about it. Rape was not a subject she generally came across. She had never known anyone who had been raped, which was definitely a good thing. The problem was that she had absolutely no idea what to do in this situation. How was she supposed to react? Illecebra’s tone had been snappy and angry, so maybe sympathy wasn’t the best option here? Red cleared her throat and searched the horizon for answers, but didn’t want to look away for too long. She didn’t want the woman to think that being around her was awkward or anything.

In the end, she let out a huge sigh and looked her in the eyes. “I’m sorry that happened to you,” she said honestly, trying to keep pity out of her voice. “I cannot even imagine what you must be going through, and that is just the shittiest thing ever.” She paused here, unsure of how to continue. “How… are you doing? Have you tried talking to anyone else about it…? Do you… do you even want to talk about it? Cos I’m definitely not gonna force you to.”

Cebra noticed the sudden blankness upon Red's features though she was unable to determine the cause of it. Was it her snappiness or the subject of what happened to her? She felt much worse about her bluntness and tone and felt her features soften again, tail lowering once more to tuck between her legs as guilt surged. As the woman began to speak again she gave a slow nod shuffling her paws a bit unsure how to take the sympathy. When asked if she was okay she thought for a moment before shrugging "I'm better then when Howl and Mawk found me. But....no. I can't even remember who I was, I can't remember my Husband or my own babies. How am I supposed to love a man I can't remember? He looks at me with such sadness and such torment. And whenever I see a stranger my instinct is to drop and cower like you saw before" she sucked in a breath and looked away toward the horizon. She shook her head and released the breath in a shaky sigh "I just want to remember so I can figure out how to continue. I don't feel at home here surrounded by strangers who look at me like im a ghost." 

Red frowned as she listened to Illecebra, nodding every now and then to show that she was paying attention. Unfortunately, she still didn’t know how to help her pack-mate. She wasn’t very good at counseling or anything like that. Her skills were generally more on the physical side — hunting and scouting, but… she did wish to become an ambassador for Easthollow, which would require some people skills. She knew how to be friendly and welcoming and all that, but… but helping someone through the trauma of rape was not something she ever thought she’d be doing. Still, she wanted to try her best.

“I don’t know how to help you remember,” Red admitted. “Maybe wandering the territory could help, and I mean all of it. Go everywhere in the pack boundaries and look around. Maybe looking at a certain place will trigger a memory? Or… or just keep talking to people, like you’re talking to me. Maybe over time, your memories will come back on their own. I think forgetting everything was either from shock, or it was a defense mechanism. Maybe once you… once you feel safer, or more normal again, stuff will start coming back.” That was the best she could offer. She’d seen wolves go into shock before, after fights and things like that, and she knew that the mind was weird after it experienced something traumatic. But this was the only advice she had. Well… “Have you seen a healer yet?”

The ideas suggested were good ones and Cebra nodded, eyes becoming more focused as she now had somewhere to start. "Howl and Mawk seem to be good people to talk to. They can probably tell me everything....Maybe Valette would know as well." she said seeming calmer already, her mind seemed to work better when she had something to focus on. When asked if she had seen a healer she nodded "Very quickly. Got my wounds tended to but there's nothing they can do for my head. It'll either come back or it won't." she said. She prayed to whatever god there was above that it would come back at least enough for her to get by. Now that she had some ideas of what to do she felt the need to move on, but not wanting to be rude and just dash off she gave Red a quick smile "I think I'll go find someone else to speak to....Thank you for the help. It was nice meeting you" she said. If farewells were also said then she would turn and head off toward the main area of the territory to find someone else to talk to.

Red opened her mouth in surprise at how quickly Illecebra seemed to pull herself together, and then at how quickly she left. “Uhh— good luck!” she called to the rapidly disappearing form. And then she laughed to herself. Maybe she’d make a good counselor after all. Maybe she gave better advice than she thought she did… Hmm… This interaction had given Red a lot to think about, and she found herself wandering away deeper into the territory to think. After she came back from her trip with Clary, she’d try and speak to Valette about how Illecebra was doing. She’d definitely want to follow up with all of this.