Hushed Willows don't you know i'm no good for you

She came back to check on @Qilaq the following morning, just as she said she would.  The roar of the falls was not difficult to find even if she was not familiar with the territory.  When she rounded the corner, eyes on the floor, she expected to see Qilaq's dark form.

But she wasn't there.  She could have been irritated, but she wasn't; it meant that Qilaq had restored some of her strength, and that was a good sign.  She took the time to go hunt two medium-sized birds (she didn't want the girl to overeat), and then nose to the ground she moved towards the girl's scent trail, which had thankfully been untouched by the wash of the falls.  She wasn't far, beneath the heavy arms of one of the willows, and Seabreeze curled up a distance away in the sun.

Good morning.

She’d slept for a little while in the same place, simply too tired move, but it is still fitful and exhausting. Waking up a little while later, well into the night, she panics and jolts to stand. She moves, almost expecting to run into a cave wall, but she stumbles over her own feet and struggles to grasp her new surroundings. On the ground, she remains, taking a deep breath. Her ears twitch, her nose flares, and she realizes that she is far from the other wolves. She remembers Seabreeze’s soft voice but she can’t picture her, scrunching her eyes together. Slowly, she stands to her feet. They’re shaky, but she’s up, and she can try to settle her nerves as much as she can.
 
Qilaq doesn’t get far—she doesn’t know where she’s going—but she finds the comfort of the willows reassuring. She breaks through the wall and moves close to the trunk, her small body curling up and laying down. She thought, maybe, she’d leave and find somewhere else to go but she doesn’t think she’d get too far if she tried.
 
She sleeps there until morning.
 
When the sun breaks, she opens her eyes. She’s blocked from it by the shade but she’s still not used to the brightness.
 
It isn’t until the scent of blood touches her nose and she lowers her ears, uncertain. She does not uncurl from her position and looks up, seeing someone get closer. She’s light in color, carrying something in her mouth, and her heart beats faster and faster in her chest. Nothing happens, though, and the woman lowers to the ground and speaks in a tender tone. Qilaq doesn’t say anything, but does lift her air and scent the air. It’s the woman from yesterday, she knows this, but she stays in place as her stomach aches at the prospect of food.

It is nice to see you awake.  She had been worried for some time that perhaps Qilaq had gone somewhere to die; she'd been weak enough that the thought wasn't too much of a stretch.  She noses the bird towards Qilaq (it's in sorry state; she wasn't lying when she said she was a bad hunter) and holds onto the other for now.  Are you hungry?

Qilaq looks away at anything other than Seabreeze or the bird, even as she moves it closer. She still has to move to get it and she suspects it’ll be snatched away when she’s close enough. Her mouth water and her stomach gurgles, neither are able to remember when she’d last eaten, and she suddenly feels nauseated. The drool in her mouth pools and drips out the sides of her mouth and she slowly turns back to look and see what Seabreeze is doing.
 
Just like the night before, she has to tell herself that she is safe and that this woman won’t hurt her but it is difficult to keep the record straight. At any moment, she’ll turn. She’ll hurt her too, starve her, maybe even send her back to the other wolves and a tremor runs down her spine. It takes another moment before she finally unfurls and with careful, jerky movements, gets close enough to the bird. Several times she looks between Seabreeze and the bird, expecting her to lash out for getting to close, but as she inches closer and nothing happens, she eventually and gingerly puts her teeth on feathers and pulls.
 
If she moves slow enough, perhaps she’ll only snatch the bird and not her but when she has it and nothing happens, her movements are quicker to backpedal. Lowering to the ground, she watches, putting her head over the kill a few seconds despite the urgency to eat it and only when it is apparent Seabreeze will not come for it, she tears into it. She does not pull it apart or pick at the feathers, there is no time, and instead her mouth clamps down hard around it—bones, feathers, feet—and devours it in a matter of seconds, leaving only down fathers at the corners of her mouth and a few on the ground at her feet.

She allows Qilaq the time and space it takes for her to trust.  She has not been abused in such a way, or not to the same extent as the girl before her.  It makes her feel as if she's out of her element, but she knows that Qilaq is more out of her element than Seabreeze could ever be.  The only thing that worries her is how quick the food goes down.  She wants to assure her that there will be more coming even though it will do no good, and she hopes that it does not come up later.

How do you feel this morning?

An overall weirdness settles in her from her throat to her stomach and a high arch of her abdomen and flare of her rubs. It passes after a few steady breaths and though the threat of puking it all back up is high, she feels okay for the moment. Slowly, she lowers her rump to the ground and stares at the ground a few seconds.
 
Qilaq shrugs a bony shoulder, awkwardly shuffling all the way to the ground. “Wh-where is…?” she struggles to finish, her tongue refusing to even try and shape the missing words.

"Where is...?"

Perhaps it's those who tormented her, or perhaps it's someone that had been held captive alongside her.  Perhaps it's someone else.  Seabreeze isn't a mindreader, and she doesn't try to discern.  She can't offer knowledge she doesn't have and it has been a long time since she has met a stranger.  Maybe if she can figure out where the girl came from she'd be of some help. But again, it's not her place to pry.

It is a little exhausting, though.  She doesn't know what the girl needs aside from her necessities, and it seems that she can't articulate it herself.  So for now patience will see her through.  It's okay, she says, who are you looking for?

Seabreeze doesn’t know what she’s trying to ask and her jaw tightens, wishing to withdraw the question all together. Her heart bangs against the back of her ribcage and she closes her eyes, attempting to steel her frustrations so that she may not look stupid again, again, always.
 
“Here. Where i-is here,” she wobbles through, licking her lips. Drool starts to pool in her mouth again but she lifts her nose a bit, fighting against the new surge of upset in her stomach.

She's tried not to let her own upset show and she surmises that she's failed at how the girl reacts, but her next question is clear enough that Seabreeze can answer and she supposes that at least there was that.  This is Elysium, she says, we're a pack that doubles as a sanctuary for those in need.  We just moved here.  She doesn't offer any more information for now because she doesn't want to overwhelm her.

Qilaq blinks in confusion a few times before her body moves as if she’d had a hiccup. Ha. How funny is that? The very place she’d finally collapsed had been in a sanctuary. She jerks again, twice. Ha ha. She sniffles and blinks away tears pooled into her eyes.
 
“I can stay?” she questions slowly, quietly. Seabreeze may have said all this the day before, she remembers them talking but she doesn’t remember the details, surely some of them has overlapped.

Her body moves as if she's laughing or crying or about to throw up, maybe, although there is no sound that accompanies the movement.  She prepares herself for all three, but in the end nothing comes of it.  She blinks away her confusion as Qilaq blinks away her tears.  

I can stay?  As long as you need, or as long as you want to be.  I don't know what happened, but you're safe here with us.  We'll heal your wounds and feed you.  I can tell the others to give you space, if you'd like.  There aren't many of us, but there are enough that it could be scary.

A place where they will take care of her? Treat her wounds? Feed her? Seabreeze may have described exactly what a sanctuary is but hearing it is different. She’s gone from one extreme to the other and still her mind tries to convince her it’s all a show. She doesn’t suspect it’ll go away anytime soon but she closes her eyes and thinks that after everything, this is still real and maybe it’s more than chance she’d wound up here.
 
“O-Okay.”
 
Qilaq swallows a lump in her throat, nicked ear twitching. She’s quiet for as long as the other woman will allow, clearing her throat and looking up. “I-I don’t know… d-don’t know how long.” Qilaq takes a few rapids breaths, "how long g-gone."

Okay, Qilaq says and Seabreeze is relieved.  She does not have to worry about the girl running away now, or about a packmate finding her and scaring her away.  The first thing she will do when she leaves the girl's side will be to let her packmates know to give her space.  You don't have to know, right now.

But she knows that will be little help.  I don't remember a lot of things about my life, either.

Qilaq takes a deep breath and lowers her head to the ground. It takes too much effort to try and think about before she’d been taken and held captive. Silas plays a big part, still, but beyond that everything feels too far away. She remembers her ma and her pa, sort of—it’s been even longer since she’s seen them—but she knows she had them. She’d recognize them if she saw them.
 
Maybe.
 
She tightens her jaw and releases a sigh. Seabreeze is so soft when she’s been used to harsh words and a foreign tongue. She still flinches when she speaks but it is easy to respond to when she’s assured, again, everything is fine.
 
“I-I r’ember summer,” she says, quietly.

There's something about Qilaq that makes her think she isn't a failure, after all.  Even if Ibis is going through a phase and almost everyone else seems to hate her for some reason or another that she can't fathom or place, Qilaq is assured by her.  Maybe if she can help this one wolf, it will mean something.  Maybe healing Qilaq will make her feel like a mother again.

The girl is talking more, and Seabreeze continues to encourage her in that same silent way.  Summer, she says softly.  This summer was not kind to her, and if she had to guess it likely wasn't kind to Qilaq, either.  What do you need?  What would help you the most?

What do you need?
 
Qilaq looks down and stares at the ground. There’s a few feathers by her paws. What would help you the most?
 
The girl sighs and closes her eyes, trying to think of something. What would help? She really wants that other bird but she stays silent. Maybe it’s not for her. Maybe there’s another wolf Seabreeze has to tend to.
 
“Are th-there others? H-hurt?” she questions, picking her gaze up at staring at Seabreeze’s feet, keeping the other kill in her view but doing her best not to focus on it.

For a while they talk, though not very much is said. Qilaq struggles of her words and putting thoughts to her tongue, eventually giving up and being left alone to sleep.