Broken Antler Fen I miss being at home in the woods

another AW thread adressing the ice storm on the 20th

The rain had pelted down on her den; the soothing sound calming her soul enough to curl her head against her den mate and sleep soundly for once. Liri's brown eyes had watched the thunder and lightning through the entrance to her den, catching only illuminated glimpses of the Cove as they were brightened to the light of midday. The wind howled in her ears and when she could no longer keep her eyes open; Liri drifted into a heavy sleep that was for once not haunted by nightmares.

The morning brought with it a silence that pressed on her eardrums louder than any ice storm. The stillness was unnatural, eerie. It prompted Liri to her paws and she padded out of the den, leaving her partner behind. The arctic femme dipped her head to exit the den, eyes widening as she raised it once more to survey the world around her. 

The world was a kingdom of ice.

Overnight the Cove had been transformed. In the place of trampled down snow drifts littered with pawprints and barren trees that scraped in the wind; was a sheet of ice. 

The ice coated every surface, chilling the pads of her paws as she wandered slowly over it. The trees were preserved in an icy shell and the stump at the middle of the Cove glistened in the pink streaks of dawn. As the sky slowly brightened with fuscias and oranges and yellows and fiery reds, the icy world was turned to fire as the colors shone through.

"Beautiful..." Her words were puffs of white air, scarcely visible in the dark of the Cove. They broke the silence as a smile crossed her face.

The fiery sunrise and icy shroud were truly stunning. It was as if a small piece of her homeland had been brought here to Teekon. Liri could feel her spirits lift for the first time in months. 

Sebastian was very worried about all the other members when the snowstorm hit. Luckily they had enough dens around the cove for them to take shelter in. Now the ice storm faded away Sebastian had a peek out of his den too. Their den was pretty crowded with their four young becoming bigger and Odette still being in the den with them.

Sebastian wanted to check upon the others but already found that Liri was outside. Sebastian greeted her with a soft woof and a wag of his tail. He really liked this female. She worked hard and seemed kind. Perhaps Burke's previous pack members weren't as bad as those in Blackfeather. Maybe it was true that the religion of Blackfeather made his father even worse. Maybe Liri could tell him more about that?

Still first their surroundings needed to be appreciated because the trees looked so different with their shell of ice. The lighting made everything so beautiful. Sebastian glanced around and smiled. "Wow," he breathed. He had always loved this territory before but in winter their lands were always so serene and beautiful. Sebastian loved his home.

She had lapsed back into silence after giving her whispered admiration of the beautiful landscape. The silence was broken once more by a voice that was not her own, a soft woof of greeting. Liri glanced over to see in the lightening Cove another wolf emerging. Either Burke or Sebastian by the looks of it. As the sun continued to rise and he got closer Liri could make out his tail and youthful appearance, marking him as Sebastian. 

Drawing her tail in and flattening her ears, Liri took on a submissive stance and dipped her head at him in both greeting and respect. As he moved closer Liri could hear his own comment about the beauty of the Cove's transformation. 

"It is lovely, your home," Liri spoke softly, feeling she should say something and not just stare at him in silence. 

Sebastian noticed before that the female was quite soft spoken and submissive to him too. The male rather liked that she showed him the respect that was expected to show an alpha but Sebastian also liked to have a friendship with his members. He didn't want to be the sole leader where wolves had to change their behavior around him. Perhaps that was something that Burke expected from his members?

Sebastian smiled at Liri. "It is your home too now," he reminded her kindly. It was not uncommon for new wolves to adjust and needing their time for it. Sebastian just hoped to remind her that she was more than welcome within their ranks, and that she was really part of their pack now. "I know with this weather we haven't been able to do much, but I do hope the weather will turn around soon."

Sebastian seemed somewhat unnerved by her submission, though she could not guess the reason for it. Should Liri have been able to, she would not be able to change herself. Life had made her into someone else. Liri hoped to remain ignored on the fringes like a shadow. Always there but never quite noticeable. 

Truly no place had felt like home since Rosings and she wasn't sure any place would. Liri did not know these wolves and they did not know her. Perhaps in time that would change but she wasn't so sure she wanted it to. Liri did not want for friends or companions or a family; hell, Liri didn't even want acquaintances. Knowing people, finding a kinship with them, led to friendship. Liri didn't do friendship anymore. Friends could replace you. Friends could abandon you. 

"Alone, alone, alone." For once Liri wholeheartedly agreed with the tiny voice. Alone was indeed the best way to remain.

"Indeed, I suppose it is now," Liri smiled, albeit a falsely. It was not as if she would come outright and tell Sebastian these thoughts. They were horribly depressing and ungrateful.

"Yes, that would be lovely. I imagine it's even more beautiful covered in green and flowers," Liri turned to the landscape, trying to picture it. "I would love to see what herbs grow here, the ones that grow this far south are so different from the ones I used in my homeland." 

"I am a healer," Liri tacked on in explanation. "What is your trade, should you have one?" 

Sebastian had no clue what was going on inside the female and he didn't know her well enough to recognize a fake smile. So he was just assuming that she was settling in alright, and that she was pretty happy about her new surroundings. The alpha wagged his tail at the thought. "In spring there will definitely be more water," he chuckled.

The male looked up in surprise. "Yes! You must be the healer Burke talked about! Good to know! I want to become a healer too. I just want to get more practice on my paws before calling myself an actual medic," he admitted. "I could help you showing some herbs. I don't know that much though," he let out modestly. "And with the kids my medic trade hasn't gotten much attention lately. But I do plan to pick it up again. I assume you are from the north then? I was born further north," he chatted happily.

The sudden rush of excited speech startled her, Liri edged backwards on her paws just a bit as if to back away from Sebastian. She stopped herself in time, calming herself before her fur could stand on end or her ears could flatten with fear.

"Careful, careful, careful."

Liri gave him another shaky smile. "That would be nice, I don't claim to know everything about herbs either. Perhaps we could help each other to become medics, it is a goal of mine as well." Her medic training had taken a backseat to leading Rosings, travelling with Leto and Minna and then searching for them, and having a mental break down after being raped and taken captive. All normal things of course.

"I was, much farther north than here. It was always winter there and we lived near a freezing ocean," Liri explained, happy to reveal at least something about herself. It was just enough that hopefully nobody would dig deeper into her past. 

Sebastian was of course not stupid. He realized that his excitement had scared the female. She seemed to lean back. Sebastian's ears fell back himself. She was not used to that much enthusiasm with Burke as her alpha. "I'm sorry I tend to be enthusiastic about things," he spoke. Not really wanting to scare her. Sometimes his outgoing personality was not something some wolves appreciated.

"I'd love to help each other. I could use some brushing up on herbs. Perhaps in spring we even make a cache of herbs or make them grow in certain places," he hummed. He showed her a friendly smile. "So you must be used to these cold temperatures then? It normally doesn't get that cold here. So I've never seen the territory in this state. I'm worried about our moose population. But I am sure, if they left, they would return here. It is a very water based territory."

Liri felt a tiny pang in her chest, at first indefinable but a few minutes later she realized it was guilt. She hadn't meant to upset Sebastian with her skittish tendencies. The point of moving on was to be normal. 

"Damaged, damaged, damaged."

"It's quite alright, I just wasn't expecting it," Liri explained with a bit of remorse present in her voice.

"That would be lovely," she agreed softly on regards of his plans about becoming medics, giving him a half smile briefly. 

"I am. To be honest with you, it's almost...comforting to see so much ice and snow. It's as if a small piece of my homeland has been brought here," Liri turned her eyes to the icy surroundings with a nostalgic expression. Her eyes were alight with something akin to hope.

Sebastian offered her a friendly smile. "I will remember and slowly make you get used to my enthusiastic levels," he promised her. Sebastian didn't want her to be uncomfortable and hearing that the current state of his territory looked like her old home made him a bit happy for her. She seemed quiet and reserved. She must have been through a lot. "Well maybe once you see the ice and snow melt you can see that even when the ice and snow is away the territory is still beautiful. It has lots of herbs and plants to offer," he spoke to her.

Liri only smiled. She wasn't sure she'd ever be comfortable enough around anyone in this pack. It wasn't their fault, it was just better to keep her distance from them.

At one time in her life, Liri would not have hesitated to befriend all members of the pack, perhaps she would even have found someone to love romantically. That Liri was gone; she simply wanted to be left on the edge of pack life. She needed a pack and companionship to survive, to not go completely insane, but she wanted to be mostly left alone for it. A conundrum if there ever was one.

"I'm sure it is," Liri agreed, falling quiet as they seemed to have exhausted the subject of Broken Antler Fen's beauty. 

"How did you come to be an Alpha?" It was polite enough she figured, to keep a conversation going.

Liri wanted to keep the focus on him, for fear that in silence Sebastian might instead question her about her own past. Besides, she was curious if his own rise to leadership had been at all like her own.

Sebastian was about to leave her alone as the topic ended, but then the female asked him a question. A surprising one at that. He wouldn't mind elaborating on himself. Though he was surprised she was even interested in his story. "Me? Oh, well," he started. "I left my previous pack as I wanted to find a mate. Over time while being a lone wolf I gathered a following and we settled here," he spoke, normally detailed in his storytelling. But somehow the story of how he found a female and then had to look after her brother who also left the pack and she didn't even know didn't feel like valuable information.

"Pearl was one of those followers and we eventually became a couple," he smiled. After all Pearl had become someone very special to him while she first had been a friend. "We don't have that of an excessive history. All our founding members left by now, so nothing really noteworthy to tell," he admitted.

Liri smiled just a bit, the brief love story warming her heart just a bit. She was glad that love was available for others in the world, even if it had failed her twice. 

"You two have children, correct? Your family is lovely," Liri spoke honestly. She had seen his white mate and the fluffy balls of fur that were his pups. They were a beautiful family even if she had never approached them and only spoke to Sebastian a handful of times.

"Don't lose heart. Many subordinates turn out that way," Liri tried to keep the smile on her face. It wasn't just subordinates that left, not for her. Everyone left at some point. 

Sebastian licked his lips. "Four actually," he chuckled. "It is quite busy in our den at the moment," he smiled. Sebastian loved it. He was a family man. He wanted to have his own family and now he had them it was only more clear to him that this was what his calling was. He liked being a father and watch his pups grow up.

"I know, it is just saddening to see them go at one point. You are close with them after all," he spoke, especially in the case of Aduin was Sebastian saddened about him leaving. But he went with his mate and Sebastian couldn't really disprove of that. He went away from his pack to find a mate.

Liri smiled as Sebastian spoke of his children; a real smile even if it was a sad and nostalgic one. She'd no children to speak of though only a year ago she had hopes of bearing some for Samuel. The idea of a family was terrifying to her now and Liri was certain she would never again know love, nor would there be any small white floofballs like herself running amuck. 

"Indeed," she agreed softly. How many wolves had she befriended before they simply dissapeared into the shadows of Blackfoot Forest? How many had she let into her heart only for them to desert her? Perhaps it was best to keep everyone at arm's length for the rest of her days.

"I should go. There's things to be done somewhere, places to see, borders to protect at the least," Liri sent him a last smile as she stood. In truth, she could feel the end of their conversation sputtering out like a stepped on flame. Best to leave before it got awkward.

"See you," Liri murmured by way of goodbye, turning and padding away from the Cove and into the darkened forest as the sun continued to rise.

Sebastian realized too their conversation was coming to an end. The female already made up her mind and wished him goodbye. Sebastian smiled at her in return and wished her goodbye for now. He hoped the snows would start to melt soon. He missed fishing. He glanced over the female as she walked away, thinking that she was a bit curious. She helped greatly with the pack life, so he wasn't complaining, but still she seemed quiet, almost too quiet. Sebastian decided not to dwell on it too long.

- end -

thank you <3