Moonspear Mad world

I need some Flofi in my life! :)

@Floki had given her space and while Wildfire appreciated it immensely, she came to miss their previous closeness. Of course, her own reticence was a major stumbling block. Although she craved the intimacy of his touch, could she even tolerate it? So far, she hadn't even really tested the waters. Having made her first foray out of the pack lands without falling apart, Wildfire decided today would be the day to begin really making an active effort to repair her relationship with her mate (if that's still what he considered himself).

She left their little hideaway and climbed down the slope to meander in the direction of the borders, hoping to intercept him on a patrol. En route, she captured a chipmunk in the woods. It was a small and rather measly gift, yet she hoped Floki would see it for what it was: a small token of love, thanks and hope.

<3

Aside from his brief encounter with Aria from Donnelaith, Floki had stayed near Moonspear's borders. He felt like he was suspended in a weird state of limbo -- he was constantly waiting, and it frayed his nerves. He was waiting for Eshe's pack to bring Goober to justice. He was waiting for Wildfire, too -- well, he wasn't sure exactly what he was anticipating from her. He didn't even know the status of their relationship or what their future held.

He was aware that she had ventured out a bit recently, because he had dropped by their den and found it empty on more than one occasion, but he was still surprised when he spotted a flash of red among the trees. His heart clenched in his chest; he wasn't used to feeling so nervous when he laid eyes on Wildfire. But he forced a smile onto his face and his tail waved gently as he eyed the chipmunk grasped carefully between her jowls.

"You must be feeling a little better," he commented quietly; it was good to see that the hunter had been doing what she did best.

She caught sight of him and her heart began to skip in her chest. Was she nervous because of where they stood or anxious about getting closer to him? Wildfire couldn't be sure. There was only one way to find out, so she ventured closer, the dead rodent swinging in her jaws. She smiled around it as his comment, bobbing her head, then set it down between her petite front paws.

"I'm definitely improving," she agreed, then added, "Physically, mentally and emotionally." She paused, letting out a breath, letting the warming spring breeze sough through her nape before she blurted, "I wanted to—can I try something—" But before waiting for an answer—in case she lost her nerve—Wildfire stepped over (actually, on) the dead chipmunk as she arched up to brush her nose against Floki's jawline.

It was good to hear Wildfire admit out loud that she was healing. Floki couldn't help but smile -- more genuinely this time -- though he froze when she suddenly moved towards him. He wasn't the one that had been assaulted, but in the last week he had grown so accustomed to their distance that the abrupt movement startled him.

The tip of her nose grazed his cheek, so gently that he wasn't even sure she had actually touched him. With brows raised in a wordless question he angled his gaze down at her, without shifting away from her.

She didn't know what to expect the moment she made contact. Her nose bumped into flesh and fur and she skimmed it up to the corner of his eye, feeling warmth as she drew in his familiar scent. Her pulse jumped a little, although Wildfire liked to think it had less to do with anxiety and more to do with anticipation—the good kind.

Her eyes slipped shut. "It feels good," she murmured against the corner of his mouth. "Touching you. I've missed this." They opened again. "I'm sure you have too. You've been so patient..."

*flails at weird post*

He remained completely still, allowing Wildfire to continue to initiate contact. She even admitted that it felt good, but Floki kept imitating a statue. Just because she was enjoying the feeling of touching him didn't mean that it would be the same if he reached out to her. The last thing he wanted to do was startle her and send her back two steps when she had just taken a big one forward.

"I missed you too," he replied quietly, and he meant it. At the very least, she was his best friend; he still cared for her deeply, but he couldn't help but wonder if they had moved too quickly into their relationship. It was obvious that they both knew very little about life -- they were simply young and immature.

But where did that leave them? He didn't want to ask, afraid of the answer. Instead, he glanced down at Wildfire, waiting for her next move.

He seemed reluctant to move and Wildfire simultaneously mourned the mutuality of the gesture, as well as appreciated the consideration. It was definitely a strange mixture of emotions stirring in her chest as she simply gazed at him a moment, shifting her weight so her paw was no longer squashing the dead chipmunk into the earth.

"I squashed your gift," she murmured with a furrowed brow, looking down, then back up at him. "Hey, would you like to go hunting with me?" It was a past time they both enjoyed, as well as a pair-bonding experience that didn't involve intimate contact. Wildfire figured it might be a step in the right direction.

But before Floki could even answer, Wildfire found herself wondering what it must be like for him, unable to touch her for fear of alarming her and being relegated to activities like hunting versus, say, rustling the bushes. "If this is all too hard for you, I understand, you know," she said quietly, amber eyes falling to the forest floor. It would hurt, if Floki needed to detach, yet it just hit her very poignantly how much she was putting him through.

"I squashed your gift," she said, and he was briefly confused. When he looked down, though, he saw that she had withdrawn her foot from the chipmunk's body. It did look a little flattened, though it would still taste the same. To be honest, he had forgotten about it; he had been caught up in the moment and trying to decipher the thoughts and feelings swirling in his mind.

"It's okay," he assured her with a small smile. When she asked about hunting, he started to nod. That would be an easy interaction to sustain -- no awkward silence, no grasping for the right words to say or carefully calculating his movements. They would both succumb to instinct, and it would be natural. But before he could answer, she made another statement that made him stiffen.

It was hard -- it was really hard, and he was sure it was worse from her perspective. How could she trust him again? He wasn't the one that had hurt her, but muscle memory was a powerful thing -- what if they tried to make love and she freaked out? How would he handle that? It would be a lie to say that he hadn't wondered about it. But he also wasn't sure he was ready to give up what they had -- or at least, what they had been starting to build together. They hadn't gotten very far before Goober ruined everything.

"I..." He opened his mouth, the single syllable hanging in the air between them. "I'll always be there for you. You're my best friend. But...maybe we should just be that, for now," he finally said slowly. It was hard to force the words past his lips, but it seemed like the best solution for the time being -- even if it hurt, there would be no pressure. Right?

Part of her hoped that Floki would insist on standing by her side, her partner in life through thick and thin. It was that part of her that twisted into a sad knot when he decided they should be friends, best friends. Wildfire nodded mutely, suddenly fighting against a lump in her throat and a familiar prickling sensation behind her eyes, not to mention an urge to flee. Her stomach felt hollow and her chest tight, yet she remained motionless for a moment, collecting herself to respond.

"Okay," she whispered around the painful constriction in her windpipe. Any questions or qualms she felt, she shoved down deep inside her rather than let them bubble to the surface. If Floki just wanted to be friends, she just had to accept that. It didn't matter that this wasn't technically Wildfire's fault. She could (and would) blame Goober for ripping apart her life, yet it didn't change anything between the two of them.

Wildfire sort of wanted to excuse herself to go deal with this blow in private, yet she remembered she had just invited Floki to hunt. "Still want to hunt...?" she asked, a bit of strain in her voice. She truly wanted to spend the time with him and thought hunting would be a particularly good distraction. Yet now her focus was shot and she wasn't sure she was up for it. Again, the Gamma let the decision ultimately rest in Floki's hands.

As soon as the words were out of Floki's mouth, he was second-guessing them. Truth be told, he had no clue what he was doing -- he didn't know what resolution would be best for himself or for Wildfire. Had he made the decision to continue their romantic relationship at that point, he might have felt similarly unsettled; there seemed to be no right answer, or at least no easy way out.

He could see that Wildfire was disappointed by his response on some level, and he almost took it all back just to wipe the expression of defeat from her face. But he bit his tongue; there was no room to be wishy-washy here. Perhaps things would change with time, but for now, he had to believe that this was the most painless solution.

She still wanted to hunt, though, and he nodded his head emphatically in reply. "Yeah, I do -- if you're up for it," he said with an attempt at a faint smile.

She didn't feel up for it, yet Wildfire paid no attention to this detail. If Floki still wanted to hunt, then they would hunt. She swallowed thickly, let out a breath and mentally steeled herself. She needed to let this go, for now, and focus on killing something. That thought actually made her huff a dry little laugh, although only on the inside. This might actually be therapeutic.

"Eat this first," she instructed gently, pointing a toe at the chipmunk. "Then..." She considered what type of prey they could pursue. It would be easiest to go for some small game, which usually consisted of squirrels or rabbits. "Maybe we should look for something mid-sized." Because the extra challenge could keep her mind off other things. "I've seen some wild pigs around here a time or two." She glanced at Floki, wondering what he thought.

Again, Floki had nearly forgotten about the chipmunk. Wildfire directed his attention to it, instructing him to eat it before they hunted. Obediently, he lowered himself onto his belly and tucked into the small meal, making quick work of the animal's carcass.

When he was finished, he reclined and licked his lips. He had listened to Wildfire's musing as he ate; he had little experience in hunting more difficult prey like a wild pig, but for some reason the challenge was alluring. "I could go for some bacon," he agreed, trying to sound casual. He inwardly winced at the way his words sounded forced. This "just friends" thing would take some getting used to -- but really, nothing seemed natural at this point. He found himself wishing they could rewind and erase the past couple of weeks as he gestured for Wildfire to take the lead.

He said he could go for some bacon so Wildfire flashed him a largely forced smile. "It's decided, then. Ready?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned from Floki and began padding in an arbitrary direction through the woods at the mountain's base. As she walked, her nose dropped to skim the forest floor and she sifted for scents. There were many, as usual, but she ignored them as she tried to single out anything that smelled like pork.

A silence stretched between the hunting companions, which gave Wildfire time to get a little lost in her thoughts. Could she really be just friends with Floki? Had they ever been just friends? There was no baseline here. But what other choice did she have? It was clear they couldn't be anything more, at least right now. But maybe later? Was that what he wanted? Was it what she wanted? Was she going to sit back and let it play out or would she make an effort to keep fixing the chasm between them?

Catching herself, Wildfire shook her head, shoving these thoughts away. Clearing her throat, Wildfire glanced over her shoulder and said, "Let's try this way," and began leading them north, intending to curve with the mountain and head to its western face, if that's what it took to locate her prey of choice.

"Ready," Floki confirmed gamely. With each passing second, he felt slightly more comfortable with his decision. This would be good. It had to be.

He inhaled before setting off after Wildfire, drawing the air deeply into his lungs to steady himself before exhaling slowly. Life was not a remote with a rewind button -- the only way they could move was forward. When he fell into step behind her, he kept his gaze averted, trying not to think about another time recently when he had followed her and his eyes had been fixed on her hips. Nope, friends didn't check friends out. He busied himself with searching for a scent, his nose brushing the ground busily.

After a few moments of traveling quietly, Wildfire changed their course. Neither one of them had found a fresh trail yet, but maybe they would have success to the north, as she suggested. "Right behind you," he said, stating the obvious for reasons unknown. He felt like he had to fill the silence, which previously had been so companionable.

Neither one of them filled the silence, so Wildfire strayed back into her head. Although it was a pretty idea, being friends with Floki, could she really make that work? She still loved him dearly, even if she was broken in some ways. If they were merely friends, then that meant they could feasibly find other lovers. A dry sob caught in her throat at the thought as tears suddenly blurred her vision. She didn't think she could handle seeing Floki move on to be with somebody else.

Hunt! You're hunting! Wildfire reminded herself, letting out a shaky breath, blinking away the tears and trying desperately to refocus. Fortunately for her, a distraction presented itself abruptly when something—she honestly didn't take the time to identify it—scurried in front of her. She mindlessly leaped after it, little paws smashing whatever it was to the ground and teeth digging into it like knives.

Feel free to choose what she killed. :)

Focusing on hunting proved to be a harder task than Floki anticipated. He found his mind drifting every few steps and consciously had to remind himself to stop thinking about Wildfire and pay attention to what he was doing. At this rate, neither one of them would catch anything!

But he stopped short when Wildfire suddenly pounced with vigor. Apparently she had been more attentive than he was, and he peered around her as she essentially flattened and then quickly dispatched her unexpected prey. It certainly wasn't a wild pig, and as he padded closer to get a better look, he realized that -- ironically enough -- it was another chipmunk.

"Wow, nice," he complimented, impressed by her quick thinking and even quicker action. Without thinking, he reached out to lick her cheek, but as soon as his tongue grazed her fur he withdrew quickly and turned away, clearing his throat. Friends, dammit.

Her savage bite nearly obliterated the small rodent, so that when Wildfire let her jaw fall open, a barely recognizable lump of pulp tumbled onto the ground. She scraped her tongue against her teeth, then sighed, disappointed by the small size of the kill. She looked up at Floki to ask him if he wanted another, then froze when his tongue touched her cheek.

She winced slightly and pulled away. It wasn't just that the touch that didn't sit well with her. Weren't they supposed to be friends? Wildfire thought inanely of that exchange with Tevinter way back when. Her insides clenched. Did friends kiss like that? Or didn't they? She really didn't know but Wildfire couldn't argue with the urge to scream that was building in her chest.

"You have it," she mumbled, turning forcefully and abandoning the chipmunk. She took a few steps, thinking, I don't think I can do this. And she wasn't just talking about the hunt. So without looking at Floki, Wildfire muttered a few more words: "Floki, I... I gotta go. Sorry." Without waiting for a response, she took off into the woods, just leaving him there with yet another dead, squashed chipmunk.

Even as he moved away from her, Floki inwardly berated himself. He was young and immature, but he still knew that kissing her had been wrong moments after friendzoning her. He turned back towards her, an apology written across his face and his mouth open, prepared to offer a sincere, "I'm sorry," but her mumbled words caused him to halt. His ears pressed forward to hear her voice, already quiet but now even further muffled.

And then she fled with little explanation. Floki veritably wilted once he was alone, his ears splaying and his tail drooping to hang limply between his hind legs. He huffed out a sigh, feeling simultaneously disappointed and frustrated. He had brought this upon himself, and he realized it. What had happened to Wildfire before was not her fault nor his -- but this? This was his doing.

Gnawing his lower lip, he turned and slunk in the other direction, leaving the mutilated chipmunk carcass behind.