Dawnlark Plains Punch Face Champion

Grayday had heard plans to plan a lavender bush at the top of Morninghill - the den where his and Catori's litter was soon to be born. This idea bothered him a little. For, although his own daughter bore the name of the flower, the scent of the buds still made him think of Akuti. Khoe. His relationship with her had been so brief, but so very hurtful. If had not been for that woman, he would still have Adeline by his side. At least, he hoped he would.

But perhaps it would have been his ruin, in the end. Perhaps he would not have been capable of loving her as he ought. Perhaps she would always have wanted more from him. Perhaps he would have given it to her. Who could know? All Grayday knew was that destiny found you, one way or another. If ruin was in your future, it would reach you no matter what choices you made.

And he was glad he had Catori. He was glad for every moment he'd lived, and he cherished each memory as another stitch in a well-loved quilt. The needle had pricked his finger many a time, but that blood was now part of the patchwork of his life. God, why was he waxing poetic about quilts? Come to think of it, what even was a quilt? Startled, Grayday shook his head, coming back down to reality. He had to finish digging before it was too late - he estimated that Catori had a little over two weeks before she reached the fullness of her pregnancy. The den needed to be done before then, and then piled high with the skins and dry grasses that they'd been gathering.

With a little sigh, Grayday got back to digging.

Sunny had forced himself from his den today. The news of Keoni's death had shaken him to his very core. He hadn't understood the depth of his affection for the girl, he'd thought perhaps it had just been a small crush but the mere fact that his thoughts always went to her when Easthollow was brought up should have said otherwise.  He wondered if he could have prevented it, could have done something to cause Keoni to still be alive if he'd stayed at Easthollow.

The thoughts plagued him and weighed him down, tail and ears dropping as he walked through the den area. He'd almost missed his father if it hadn't been for the dirt that smacked him in the face. Shaking himself off he looked to where his father was digging and chuffed softly before walking over. "Hey dad, want some help?"the normal cheer in his greeting was gone, voice hoarse from crying inside his den. He seemed to just be offering out of politeness instead of his usual kindness.

Something in Sunny's voice made the male stop his digging and back out of the den instead of simply accepting the offer. His muzzle was caked in dirt when he turned to face his son, unable to look him in the eye by desiring face to face conversation.

"Are you alright?" he asked, worried that Sunny was sick once more. His last bought of illness had been worrying, and if the yuck had stayed in his lungs, it could very easily take his life. "You sound hoarse, my boy. Maybe you shouldn't strain yourself ..."

He came to nose over his boy, detecting no scent of sickness but feeling uneasy all the same.

He cleared his throat and looked uncertain for a moment. He wanted nothing more than to tell his father why he was upset and hoarse but at the same time he didn't expect him to understand. His father wouldn't understand him hanging on to Easthollow like that and especially not the feelings for Keoni. Or at least that's how Sunny felt and saw it in that moment.

Suddenly uncomfortable with his father's scrutinization he looked away and headed over to the dirt pile, digging at what was already being dug at. "im fine Dad... really"he said, tone coming out a bit too snappy and harsh. It made him pause and he looked up, turning to face his father with an apology written across his features. "I didn't mean that...I'm sorry. I..just.."his eyes filled with tears and his voice broke, sentence cutting off as he swallowed down against the lump rising in his throat.

Grayday gave a firm growl of warning - he didn't appreciate Sunny's tone, but he probably would have let things go. He didn't seem sick, and if Sunny wanted to work, Grayday was inclined to let him. But the boy's follow-up word - and they tone they were spoken in - sent a tiny shiver down the leader's spine. He knew, quite suddenly, that something terrible had happened.

"Sunny," he said gently, moving closer to nudge the boy's cheek. "What's happened? You can talk to me."

His name was spoken gently and his father nudged him gently, those actions enough to break the walls he had set up to keep in his pain. He pushed his head against his father's shoulder and let out a heavy sob. "Keoni died. Burr too. I know it's odd but...dad, I think I loved her."he said, the relinquishing of the painful information lightening the heaviness and making his pain worse all at once.

Grayday's breath caught in his throat - this was news to him. "Cutie?" he said, aghast. She'd been so young the last time he'd seen her. As young as Burr had been. But she was older than Sunny, and must have been a grown-up woman when she died. It was a difficult concept for Grayday to reconcile, and while he tried to right himself in this knowledge, he nearly missed the second bomb that his son wanted to drop on him.

Nearly.

"Oh, Sunny," he said, remembering how taken his boy had been with the girl when they'd been small. She'd not been too fond of him, but Grayday knew how things could change. "I don't think that's odd at all," he said softly, wishing he knew a way to fix this for his son.

Sunny slowly nodded and swallowed down the lump in his throat audibly, squinting his eyes shut. "Pema told me a few days ago."He said confirming the news. While she had been grown, to Sunny she was still so young. The idea that someone so young could die so easily wasn't new to him since he had almost died himself but it wasn't any less scary or disturbing.

"I know she didn't like me at first but...when I returned to Easthollow she'd had her tongue ripped out. Couldn't speak...she was different. I stuck by her side and tried to brighten her mood, it didn't work at first but we hung out alot after that. We hunted often together, I got to learn how to communicate a bit without words...it seemed like we were really friends."He was releasing all he could afford to in the moment without breaking. "I was gonna tell her. I asked Krypton how to um..how to show a girl you like her. Then Dawn showed up and asked me to come back and i agreed. Told Valette to say goodbye for me instead of in person. And i left. Never saw her again. Now she's dead"He whispered the last words and separated himself, so many emotions going across his face.

Grayday felt incredibly guilty about the whole affair. Every time something went wrong at Easthollow, he wondered if things would have gone differently if he had stayed. It didn't make sense to blame himself for Keoni's death, but she'd been so young. It didn't make sense for her to die in the first place. And, aside from his guilt over leaving Easthollow behind, he couldn't help but feel that he had forced Sunny's hand as well. True, he had not meant for Dawn to bring him back to the plateau - only for her to make ammends. But he'd not sent the boy back, and now love had been stolen from them in a manner far more jarring and permenant than such a kind soul could ever had deserved.

"I'm sorry, Sunny," said Grayday, swallowing back the emotion that the death of his little niece had brought out of him. "I don't know what to say. I wish I could change things for you." He hadn't meant for the boy to put his life on hold to come back and babysit his father...

He hadn't meant to make his dad feel guilty and when he apologized Sunny shook his head and pawed at him "I wouldn't change it. I am glad I came home. I just..."he paused and looked off into the distance as if thinking about how to put his feelings into words or if he even should voice it anymore. "If I had stayed maybe she wouldn't be dead. We hung out so often...I could have stopped it."it came out in a tone more bitter than he'd intended the guilt mixed with anger at himself. He should have at least visited once or twice, told Keoni he loved her, told her how much she meant. But he hadn't and she was gone, it was too late.

Grayday did not say that he was glad as well, but he thought it ardently in the face of this tragedy. If Sunny had died at Easthollow, never to know how much Grayday loved him... he didn't know if he would have survived that. He wished with all his heart that Keoni had not died and that she and Sunny had had more time together, but at least... at least he had Sunny. At least his son was still strong and healthy.

"Sunny," he said uncertainly, swallowing against the painful lump in his throat, "If you wanted to go back to Easthollow... I wouldn't be upset. If you wanted to go anywhere. I would miss you, but you don't have to stay for me."

He moved forward to nuzzle his son, a lonely tear leaking out of his remaining eye. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you when you first came. I didn't want to steal your life from you, my boy. I'm sorry I was too late."

Sunny's ears flattened back against his head and his eyes watered up. His dad was offering him a chance not to be torn any more. He was being offered a free choice, free from pain. He could go to Easthollow or he could be here and neither choice would upset his father. Of course he knew his dad would be happier with him staying in morningside, but to know that it wouldn't hurt him if he went back was relieving. Yet....


He didn't want to return. As soon as it was presented he knew he was a Morningsider by more than blood, but by spirit and heart too. He'd worked hard for this, he'd put blood into this pack, and he'd provided and made friends here. Easthollow was his birth pack but without Keoni or Krypton there it would feel off. He blinked away his tears and shook his head "I am a Morningsider in every way. This is my home where my friends and family are. I will never leave." he said firmly.


As his father stepped forward and nuzzled him he returned the gesture,but at his father's words he pressed his nose deeper into the fur of his neck. His heart broke again and he gave a shivering breath, eyes squinting shut. "You didn't steal my life or do anything too late. Because you stayed I am who I am. Because you are an amazing father I am the best man I can be. You didn't..."He swallowed thickly and took a breath. "You didn't do anything but give me someone to aspire to be like. You...you worked through all of your pain and all of your issues whatever they were to father to me and Dawn. I noticed something was wrong, even when I was young but  You put aside your troubles to help us with ours. If I had stayed at Easthollow I would never have realized just how good I could be because I wouldn't have had you as a role model." 

he finished his speech and separated himself from his dad's neck and instead crouched low, pressing his nose beneath his dad's chin and giving it a lick. It was a gesture akin to submission but in this case it was gratitude."So thank you for sending Dawn. Thank you for making me choose. Because if I hadn't I wouldnt be who I am with so many friends. You are why I'm not bitter and angry and childish."he said softly and stepped away.

Grayday let out a weak chuckle, giving his son's cheek a thankful kiss. "Well, there's one thing I didn't teach you - you're a stronger man than I am, Sunny. I don't know what I would do if I lost Cat, but it would involve a lot more reckless destruction than I've seen from you in the last couple days." Of this he was relatively certain. He'd lost Amber, Adeline, and Akuti, but he would never make it without Cat. He'd hung up his hat, and he wasn't about to take it up again.

But here was Sunny, who had lost and given up so much and yet stood before him as strong as ever. Stronger, even. It was an inspiration to the father, who had long worried that his actions and lifestyle might negatively impact the kids.

"Sunny - there's something I've been meaning to ask you about," he began, deciding that now was as good a time as any to make this request. "With Dawn busy bein' married and off in the woods all the time, I've been thinkin' you might start organizing the hunts and takin' charge of the caches. I could really use the help, and I can't think of anyone better for the job."

Destruction or acting out had never occurred to him, so when his father said it was something he would do he gave him a confused and concerned look. He had simply isolated himself from others up to this point and pushed on through his duties. Even now he wasnt exactly mourning so much as hurting and moping about. "You...You wont lose Cat dad. She's really good...she'll stay" He said uncertainty though the last two words were from with conviction,revealing his wary trust in her.

When his father said he had been meaning to ask him something his ears perked and eyes brightened with curiosity. This sounded super important and even though he was sad he found himself eager to know what it was. He listened intently as he was told, the offer making his eyes widen. He was being chosen to take the lead for hunting? He broke out into a bright grin and wagged his tail, the amount of happiness he felt showing quite plainly. "I...Yes. I'll do it, I'll make sure everything is in order. Thank you dad."So surprised was he that he couldn't even form a more elaborate thanks for being given the role of lead Hunter.

He'd meant more like her dying, but Sunny jumped straight to the impossibility of her leaving - something Grayday preferred not to contemplate, if at all possible. He chose not to comment on that and instead waited for Sunny's reaction to his offer - his request, really. Of course, the boy was happy to take up the mantle. Grayday hadn't expected anything less, really.

"Thank you, Sunny," he said with a little smile, glad to see that he'd been able to distract the boy somewhat. Distractions couldn't fix this hurt, but Grayday hoped they would help him while he gained distance from it. "Look - why don't you go and visit Easthollow for a bit? Pay your respects? When you come back, you can start your new duties, but I think it would be good for you to see your aunt and your friends again."

Sunny gave a look of surprise at the suggestion having been thinking of the same thing himself. It was a good idea, he could  grieve properly and give his condolences to Valette.  He gave a weak smile and nodded "Yes....that sounds like a good idea. I should only be gone for a few days since I know the way now" he said with gratitude. Suddenly his brow furrowed and he looked up at his dad, a sort of scared expression in his eyes  "How do I trust that i wont lose someone else? I mean...We lost mom, I lost Krypton, you lost Akuti. Every woman seems to go...how did you trust in Cat?"he didn't really think about bringing up these sort of things, he was just hurting and confused and now he was doubtful and scared

Grayday nodded. "Be careful," he exhorted, wishing he could take a look at his son's handsome face before he left. Unfortunately, all he had was his memories. It would have to do.

At Sunny's next question, he could only sigh and shake his head. "If you trust with your mind, there's no one you can trust," he explained. "Everyone has the potential to hurt you, Sunny. Even me. When you trust someone, you do it with your heart. You do it anyway, and not because you have proof. Then it's not trust. It's just knowledge."

The answer was that Grayday didn't know; Catori might leave tomorrow. He didn't think that she would, but he hadn't really thought that Amber or Akuti would leave him, either. There was a certain point at which Grayday had just gotten tired of not trusting, of wondering, of holding back. Catori would stay or she wouldn't. Grayday loved her anyway.

"I will dad. I'll be back in a few days."he said. Knowing he couldn't really be seen much at all by his father at this point he moved forward and touched his nose to his father's cheek. As he stepped back he listened to the wise words that his dad always seemed to have.

This time he understood. He understood what was meant but it scared him still. If he was to trust with his heart, he'd be open to a lot of hurt because he'd give everyone the benefit of the doubt. He woukd trust everyone unless they proved themselves untrustworthy by hurting him. It's just how he was as a wolf, he was caring. Sighing he gave a weak smile and  flicked his tail "I get it...thank you again dad. I'll be off later today I think. See you when I'm back " he said. He would wait for his father's goodbye and then turn and head off, preparing for the trip.

Sunny out! A lovely thread as always ❤