Whitefish River le sigh

Spica was still annoyed about her mother being pregnant. Without consulting her! She wished that she knew what to do about it, because right now she just found herself utterly annoyed. But there wasn't really a solution, right? Because the pups were coming no matter how Spica felt about it, and they would replace her and then her mother wouldn't even care. She'd already crossed a line when she took stupid Emrik to be her mate, but Spica had taken it and swallowed it. Maybe that'd been a mistake. Maybe she should've drawn a line there just so that her mother would've known better than to make a decision about having more pups without consulting her eldest children. She'd even chased away Acheron with her choices, and though Spica and he didn't get along super well, she got it. Some days she thought that she should ask @Syrma to leave with her, too, since their mother sooo badly wanted them to forge their own life. But so far she had only complained about it to her twin. So far she hadn't actually suggested they leave. Because she didn't want to leave and she didn't want to allow herself to be chased away.

But meanwhile that left her stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Spica lay down by the side of the river and stared at the current streaming, a mopey expression on her face, and she let out a long dramatic sigh.

Syrma followed the riverside, moseying along to try to distract herself. She had spent a lot of time stewing over everything lately, and usually avoiding most folks except her twin. Thankfully it was really easy, since mom and Emrik had been plenty busy taking care of packmates, and before that, even others from their neighbors.. or whatever that whole deal had been with some "Empress". It just always seemed to be about someones puppies lately, and Syrma just didn't have a lot of investment in it, so mulled along doing whatever she wanted instead.

She wasn't going anywhere quickly, so was taking some note of whatever she saw along the way--some of the plants beside the river caught her eye sometimes, as did an occasional mossy rock, but inevitably it made her think about her mom.. and she wanted nothing to do with that right now. After flinging her snout up in the air, indignant at the sour thoughts that stormed through her wherever she went, she jogged on and soon found Spica.

Trotting closer, and despite the very obvious moping that was being done, she didn't hesitate because she knew why, sharing some sentiment about it (since she assumed the cause to be the obvious ones lately). You're the only one I wanna see right now.. or like.. ever, she scoffed, though was relieved this was the company she had run into. Fondly she poked her nose at her sister's shoulders, and plunked her rump down next to her with a huff.

An ear flicked backwards at the approaching wolf, hoping it wasn't anyone in her family. That opinion quickly changed when she recognised by the footfalls that it was her mirror image. The words shared could've literally come from her own mind, and Spica couldn't help but grin a little at that. Gosh, imagine if you had to go through life without having your very own twin? Ugh, I know, right?! Spica reiterated, but with her own dramatic flair to it. Why was life so unfair? First the news about their father being from a pack called Moonspear and they suddenly had to be all secret about shit, and then the news that Speedy was getting new pups. Was it because she wanted real, legitimate pups? Better fucking not be.

Life was a little better with her sister laying next to her, and she felt calmer about that already. But she didn't feel calmer at all about the situation going on their family right now. I just don't get it, Spica said. I just don't fucking get it. She batted a piece of stone into the water, and it quickly sunk. Why's she gotta replace us? Is it because we're not Emrik's? And why didn't she even ask us first?! Before all of this Spica had never doubted that their mother loved them. But now, not even being consulted, well, that stung. So Ira had known about the new pups before them?

It had been a lot to process for the young wolves lately, on top of trying to figure out their place in the pack, and in adulthood to come. She got a bit more situated in her spot with a sigh, and watched the waters--reluctantly soothed by the sight, if only a teeny-tiny bit. Acheron had probably been smartest about it and just up and left on his fancy little adventure before it could get any uglier, honestly, which also flared a bit of jealousy in her that swirled with all the already-existing sourness. He wasn't even the worst of their problems right now, either!

Her ears flattened and Spica's thoughts mirrored her own. The confusion, then the reasoning that tried to take hold. It's not right.. not after, that all.. she said, about their father and mom's betrayal, eyes narrowing angrily when she thought about it all. I bet that's part of it, that we're not reallly Emrik's 'cause that's the happy family we're supposed to have now.. she seethed, wanting to aim blame at Emrik too but also not wanting any part of any of it. She had always gotten along with him, and didn't mind him around before but now he seemed like he helped their mom along with this crime way more than just.. making it happen. Bet she just didn't think about us then. Or assumed we would have to be happy about it! But.. that's so.. it's not fair, she bitterly huffed, feeling slighted right along with her sister. Everything's always gotta be about puppies lately anyway. It's dumb, she griped.

Spica could not nod in agreement with everything that sister said. She stared at the water pass by and shuffled so that her hairs touched Syrma's, the physical confirmation that her mirror image was nearby soothing. It was almost like spitballing thoughts in her own head when she was spitballing thoughts with Syrma. Everything just made sense. Maybe their mother did think that they'd think nothing of it, but like, if she thought they would agree anyway, then why wouldn't she just ask anyway because it would take literally five seconds??

No, Spica thought that their mother had known that they wouldn't agree and that was why she just up and got pregnant first. I bet she knew, she said glumly, frowning into the water. I bet she knew that we wouldn't agree, why else not just ask us? But yah, sometimes it's like everyone just assumes we'll be okay with everything. I mean we're not little children anymore, and if she wants us to be part of this family she has to stop acting like we don't have a say in anything!

She let the thought settle in that everything was about dumb puppies lately. The thought swirled around in her mind for a bit until she had a thought. It was an impulsive thought, as she more often had, and she said, her voice suddenly calm though riddled with hidden excitement: We should make a pact. We should make a pact that we'll never have puppies. Impulsive, perhaps, but Spica longed for the life the children had lived with their mother before Emrik came along and before they decided to have replacement-puppies. Syrma was right — puppies were dumb and ruined everything, so why would they ever want them?

As she listened, she felt her expression darken though she kept it aimed at the waterway. You're probably right.. she agreed on a sigh, finding what Spica said to just.. fit too well. She probably knew they wouldn't be that keen to any upheaval to what was their routine, but went on and did it anyway. Syrma was starting to realize that was probably just how their mom did things, regardless. Knowing what she now did about why they existed at all also really helped confirm this suspicion; now, they were meant to deal with the consequences of her actions, all of them!

Syrma stewed, then, hanging on the idea of part of this family for a reason she couldn't explain. Never before had she doubted that fact, as everything had been pretty picturesque before, but to suddenly feel a strange doubt well up about it was difficult. If this was the family now.. was that really what she wanted..?

Her sister's voice refocused her, however. A pact? Yeah? I'm cool with that, I definitely don't need any... she agreed with a shudder at the mere idea. It was gross! But she was young, inexperienced, and definitely not old enough to even worry about such things. She was just off-put by all the attention they seemed to pull, and for what? Some annoying little grubs? They just seemed to get in the way of everything anyway, and all mom's done lately is worry about everyone else's or this or that then expect us to just be fine with her and Emrik tossing more supposed family on us. It's all garbage, she complained candidly, letting a bit of that jealousy show. Y'know I hate to say he was right at anything but Acheron was lucky to go on his dumb little adventures now, Syrma grumbled. He didn't have to look all of this in the face and see it play out, not while he was out having a merry little time doing whatever he was doing.

Syrma agreed easily with her plan to make a pact never to have children. It would surely drive another wedge between them, and it was one that Spica at least wasn't willing to see made. It was like Syrma said -- they just got in the way of everything. And they were definitely garbage, or what they caused was garbage, or whatever. Syrma then said that Acheron was right to leave, and Spica nodded. Yeah and now we can't leave or we'd look like awful daughters and like we'd only leave 'cause of the new pups. Which I guess is what we would be doing but y'know, it's just sooo unfair that we would get blamed for it if we decided we had enough and left. Spica rolled her eyes for good measure. So unfair.

And can you believe Acheron blamed us on mom crying? I mean he's the one who left! He's always doing this, he never takes responsibility for anything and then pretends like he's the 'big brother' and the most responsible one. Another eyeroll for good measure at the end of that rant.

What were they talking about again?

Right, the pact!

Alright, I think we gotta swear it for it to be a real pact. We gotta swear on something, like... Say that something bad can happen to us if we do it anyway. Spica grinned as she explained what a pact was like -- even though she made it up on the spot -- and waited to see if Syrma had any more thoughts on this (or on their lame-ass-right-now family).

She agreed so hard it practically hurt. Spica was right, they would be the bad, sibling-hating daughters if they turned-tail now while good little lad Acheron got to keep his reputation in tact just because he had timed it well--even though he had up and left, too! And for what, exactly?! Psh, yeah, like we're probably already terrible and awful bad daughters since we made mom cry, she mocked, eye-rolling too. It's not fair, not at all. He just gets to run off and ignore it all and they'll probably have a dumb little party when he does bother to visit or whatever to come kiss more butt, just because that's Good Boy Acheron, here to be Responsible and just.. UGH! she groaned, smacking the ground with a paw in her frustration (though in truth, it felt good to get it out).

It had hurt her deeply to see the family just immediately side with their mom just because she had turned on the waterworks, like their own hurts didn't matter. To see it be Spica and her versus them in already a delicate moment she had not been entirely prepared for stung--though her sheer lack of sympathy for the other side was alarming, too, she stubbornly felt justified in her view because of how everything had gone down lately. She didn't like any of it.

These tumultuous feelings had her focus jumping this way and that. Back to the pact, though. Really, she didn't think it would be too hard to avoid, doing what the pact set out to prevent.. that would be something awfully bad in itself. Syrma couldn't really grasp the want, and let alone imagine not having Spica entirely involved and informed in all ways anyway. It was the fact that she felt like they only got to know as an afterthought that really bothered as well, but that was just yet another issue she had with the way this had gone. What kind of something bad? Can it get worse than.. going against the pact anyway? she scrunched her face, turning thoughtful afterward. Right now, it was hard to imagine whatever was worse.. short of something involving her mirror, and that was forbidden territory, not to even be thought about.. so what else?

It was nice to be able to throw out all her frustrations like this. Spica nodded and rolled her eyes pretty much in sync with Syrma when she mentioned the 'making mom cry' thing. Spica hadn't really thought about Acheron visiting but when her sister mentioned it, she could only agree that that would probably be how it'd go down; him being the good boy for visiting, him kissing more butt, and everyone looking badly at Spica and Syrma. Why was life so unfair?! Spica had thought living in Hoshor Plains was pretty bad, but this was a thousand times worse.

Now she decided to focus on the pact, because that'd prevent them from falling for the same traps their mother had. Syrma had an excellent point because having pups was pretty much the literal worst anyway, and breaking a pact with her twin was even worse than that, so y'know, it was hard to come up with something good. Yeah, you're right. How about something like... You have a butt itch for the rest of your life? At that, Spica couldn't help but giggle a little, some of her immaturity shining through. That's pretty bad. Or your ears falling off, or losing your toes, or going blind or... something like that. With eyes shining now that she could use some of her creativity, Spica looked at her twin to see how her ideas were accepted (or not).

Okay, the thought of a butt itch for life was pretty terrible--hilarious, but imagining it for herself? Hard no. She shook her head. Could you imagine puppies and butt itch at the same time? The worst, she snickered, though, something about the two compounding situations making each other worse was sure to drive anyone straight into madness. Definitely worth avoiding. However Spica upped the ante, talking about actively misplacing parts or going blind. Yikes! She gaped a bit. Oh yeah going blind would be pretty terrible.. I do like seein', she said after a thoughtful pause for her to consider it in. She did a lot of seeing, and appreciated the fact. How else could she look at the scenery, or the stars above, or her sister?? I could probably cope without a few toes, maybe. Unless it was like, a lot of them. That'd be pretty hard, she rambled, thinking a good bit about this as she wiggled her own toes.

Next, another sigh. Just whatever it's gotta be, I just.. I can't imagine doing something important or knowing something big and not telling you about it, especially! Like.. it just sucks that I feel like we're so, I don't know, an afterthought.. Makes me tired just thinking about it, and having to be mad about it too, she griped, frowning then. Spica would understand, of course.

Omg, Spica said, while her face was a mixture of laughter and being appalled, in response to having pups and a butt itch. Literally the worst. It was kinda fun to think of all these things you really wouldn't want to have happen to you, honestly, she had to admit. Being blind would be pretty bad. Just imagine not being able to see. I'd only be okay with going blind if I still had you to guide me everywhere, but if I'd go blind because of the oath then you would probably be shunning me because I was a dumb byatch and had pups. 'Not seeing Syrma again ever', another thing to add to the list that would make having pups literally the worst thing ever.

Syrma gripped back to the whole mom situation, which Spica had actually forgotten for just a second or two. She frowned as Syrma said she felt like an afterthought and nodded. Yeah, I get what you mean. I totally feel the same way. You'll totally never be an afterthought to me, I'll tell you if I get any weird thoughts on having pups. She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then burst out a chuckle, then explained the sudden hilariousness: Though I'll probably change my mind on them anyway because hell no I don't want an itchy butt for the rest of my life!

Syrma bobbed her head for a nod first (because yes literally the worst, since puppies were already a bad butt itch of their own) and then again harder, with a more thoughtful look on once more (because yeah... though loathe to think of the possibility, if that happened, she probably wouldn't be happy with Spica--which would be a whole separate set of bad to add to it). All good reasons to keep away from such a notion, and ones she kept close to her heart--from butt itchies to blindness, all of it was just salt in a wound really.

Oh same here. I'll at least let you know if I even start thinking stupid stuff like that, she scoffed, letting it shape into a laugh at the end as well. It would be well before the fact, certainly, though picturing herself succumbing to such right now was a pretty funny joke too. Syrma was too far away from any real need or interest in the matter, and after all this complication with the situation, it was not easy to envision herself wanting that. For real though, no being eaten alive by little needy slugs like that AND the  itchy butt to go with it, thank you VERY much, she concluded after one last good snicker, though there was that lingering ire in her statement. At least with her sister she could laugh it off.

Anyway.. do y'wanna go on a walk with me? See what we can find that's not stupid smelly pup-this-and-pup-that garbage, she offered with a soft nudge of her snout to her twin's shoulder before she pointed it down the riverway in suggestion. Syrma was fancying a change of pace away from all the stuff that had made them feel badly lately. Really, she had been wanting to explore more (and further) in general, and this whole mess just gave her good cause to expedite that.

Yeah, the least they could do was tell each other, but Spica was pretty dang convinced that they would never ever betray one another like that. She just laughed at the sentiment because it was so ridiculous to her mind. Yeah, I seriously don't get how anyone would want that. Everyone's crazy except for us! Spica exclaimed, with a roll of her eyes for good measure.

Always, she responded when her twin asked her to take a walk with her and forget about the pup stuff. Let's go explore a bit! It wasn't that long since they'd moved to Whitefish river again and maybe they could find some cool new places. Either way it was great to set her mind to something else. Spica leaped up and started bounding away, already feeling new energy flow through her.

fade and have a new one sometime soon? :D

Syrma certainly had to agree. Everyone else was just out of their minds these days. It only sounded so bad, and she was so frustrated that it felt like only they saw it this way--and that they faced opposition for not rolling over and accepting everything just because they were told it was for the best! She couldn't see what the appeal was, so went on ahead with a hearty nod--they were the only ones without puppy brain, it seemed. Anyway, she too was eager to shake off the funk of this all and just do anything else. It didn't even need to be much.

Yes! she chirped to the idea of exploring, which was decidedly an upgrade to her walk suggestion, and one she would embrace wholeheartedly. Without another word, she was bounding after her twin, ready for something new and different--whatever it may be, so long as it wasn't pups. Before long, hopefully all those stormy thoughts would be faraway and somewhere else. For now, they could focus on each other and their explorations, which sounded very good to her.

yess always <3