Heron Lake Plateau No I don't wanna fall in love

@Ulrich had said nothing and she hadn't either. They had walked in silence. Her body slowly uncurled from the cold and she was able to walk without shivering. Her teeth no longer chattering. Now her breath popped out of her mouth to tumble in the air around them. Ghostly vapors of her breath of life. She tilted her head as they headed over an incline.

A small gasp left her mouth as she stared out at a glittering wonderland of beauty. A frozen lake stretched out for miles, and the white snow, fresh and cold fell around them, painting the steepening shadows in an eerie white light. Her tail wagged and she wiggled. 

Oh Ully! She breathed out in delight. Isn't it just the prettiest thing. But no walking on it. I know.

She really wanted to though, maybe slide across it as fast as she could. But there was always a chance towards the middle it would fail and she would fall deep down where it was deep and dark, thus ending the life of Adylaide. But it truly was beautiful to look upon.

Ulrich had been feeling incredibly awkward since their last conversation, and their complete silence afterwards hadn’t helped. But what was he to say in the face of such blatant attraction on her end? He couldn’t encourage it. He simply couldn’t. And so, he had followed her lead and remained silent, and the silence had stretched out and suffocated him until he had felt he was going insane.

And then they had reached the top of a hill and Adylaide had finally broken the silence. He couldn’t help but smile at her fondly as she expressed how beautiful the frozen lake was. He had never known anyone else who could see beauty everywhere the way she could. He was only glad that the trauma she had endured had not blinded her to the world’s beauty.

Despite his smile, his words were solemn. No, he agreed. No walking on it. But we can get closer if you want. Walk along the shore? He gave her a questioning look.

Ady hadn't felt uncomfortable or awkard. Not really. No she felt sad. Because she had realized this was going to be an uphill battle. She intended to win, but it would take some time. Because if nothing else Ully was an absolute stickler for traditions and roles. But they didn't matter here. Truly.

If she had known he was uncomfortable, she would have tried to help him. Speak about simple things and small things and pretty things. He seemed to like it when she found beauty in things.

When Ady had seen her parents broken bodies at her feet, when she had been screaming so loud, she felt her ears pop. She had been so very sad. However, the more they have moved and walked. Though she loved them. Her parents her silbings, she had not wanted the life they had wanted for her. She had not wanted to lead a kingdom of sadness. And thus when she was feeling sad, she determined that she would find something beautiful to point out. And honestly, sometimes when you searched for simple beautiful things. You found them. And you saw more of them. She refused to be negative.

She blinked and smiled up at him. Oh yes! Please. Come on Ully! She bounded forward with an eager run.

Ulrich watched Adylaide bound forward and smiled quietly to himself. Sometimes she still acted like a child, which could be frustrating, but was also amusing. Often, he had to remind himself that she was now three years old, fully an adult, and no longer the cub he had watched over for so long, making sure she didn't hurt herself or do anything dangerous. How times had changed...

He followed along behind her at a slower pace, and then caught up to her at the shore of the frozen lake, and walked beside her, looking around. This place would be nice in the summer, he mused. I'm sure there'd be lots of prey to hunt here; they'd follow the water. Or one could take a swim in the lake. Without realizing he was doing it, Ulrich was sussing out this place as a potential area to settle down.

Ady knew that in some cases, she behaved younger than she seemed. That she took things a little more closer to her chest. Or that simple things amused and perplexed her. But what was she to do, when almost everything had been done for her. Even Ully had coddled her throughout the years. Though not near as much.

Ady met his gaze. But wouldn't then it also attract other predators? Perhaps somewhere else would be better suited to settling, but still near enough to it that there was easy access.

Ady stared at the water and spoke quietly. Ully can you hunt the creatures under the water?

It seemed like such a simple question, perhaps too simple, and she had fish before. But she hadn't been sure how they had given it to her. How could one hunt in something you couldn't go in for long? She didn't know about many others, but she hadn't ever been able to hold her breath long enough to catch one of the swift silver things beneath.

Ulrich blinked and stared at Adylaide for a moment, impressed by her thought process. That's good thinking, he said. Finding somewhere more fortified would probably be safer, yes. Well... it would make me feel better, anyway.

"Ully, can you hunt the creatures under the water?"

Ulrich stared down at the frozen lake, his breath fogging in the air. For some reason, he was reminded of tales of sea monsters he had heard as a pup, things that the older guards had said to scare him as he went through his training. Somehow, he did not think that that was what Adylaide meant. He shook his head a little, with a smile. I... don't have much practice hunting fish, unfortunately. However, if there were nothing else and I were starving, I'm sure I would learn quickly. He looked at her. Why? Are you hungry? His voice was laced with concern here at the thought of her hungry. We won't get any fish for some months yet, not with the lake frozen, but I'm sure we could hunt something else.

Ady hadn't spent 3 years of her life with the male in front of her, and not picked up at least some of his mannerisms and quirks. More importantly, she hadn't not learned something from him. 

I have moments of genius you know, Ully. she quipped back with a small smile.

Ully didn't answer her, so she turned to see his gaze burning into the frozen lake. She wondered about what he was staring at. But before she could ask, he began to speak.

She chuckled. No i'm not hungry. You worry to much. I was merely curious.

She poked him with a paw and turned back around, paws slipping on the edge a bit, but she didn't crash into the frozen lake, exactly. Though she imagined she'd have given him a heart attack if he was paying attention.

"I have moments of genius you know, Ully."

Ulrich could not help but grin at her. Oh, is that right? he asked, his eyes twinkling. Well, I'll keep that in mind.

She teased him for worrying too much, poking him, and he tsked and turned away, pretending to grumble--and then she slipped on the ice.

The slip was only minor, and she caught herself before anything much happened, but Ulrich's heart pounded in his chest, the blood roaring in his ears. He stared at her for a moment, as if waiting for her to suddenly scream in pain or slip again, but nothing happened. All previous gaiety faded from him, and he pressed his mouth into a firm line. Come, he said, and nudged her away from the shoreline. We will walk farther from the edge.

She lifted her chin a notch, giving him a cheshire grin with a haughty expression. Of course it is. You best do so. 

She did enjoy it when he was teasing and funny. There was layers to her guardsman, more than he allowed others to see. She supposed she had probably seen more than most. Now if only she could get him to continue to break away from the walls he so carefully built.

She laughed as he turned, but her laughter quickly died as she slipped and caught herself, but she felt his eyes burning into her. Though surprisingly so, he said nothing. instead he pressed her away from the edge like a worried mother hen.

Ully! I'm fine really. And even if i fell it looks thick enough at least that I would slide for a bit. Really.

She gave him an insufferable sigh, but she moved at the press of his touch, moving her body boldly past him, being sure to flick him with her tail, in slight irritation. A sly smile on her face, but she had done what he had asked. She quickly turned away, before he could see her smile, and lifted her gaze to the hills beyond them. Their rounded tops covered in snow and ice, glittering against the sunshine.

She stopped to stare and took a deep breath of crisp cool air. And closed her eyes enjoying the moment.

Ulrich immediately felt awkward as they continued to tease each other, though he could not deny the blooming warmth in this chest. Was this an inappropriate interaction between himself and his charge? He did not know. They were far from home, but it was difficult to drop the rules that had been beaten into him--sometimes literally--from an early age. Adylaide was not his friend. She was his ward, and he was her guardian. And yet... Did they not act like friends? They had known each other since her birth. Three years. And now she was a woman grown. Was it fair to continue to act so standoffish with her, to treat her as a child, as a damsel to be protected and nothing more?

He was so distracted he did not respond to her words, but he stopped when she did and stood beside her as she gazed out over distant hills. He opened his mouth to speak but did not know what words to say, so he shut it again and looked away, pretending to survey the landscape, his brow furrowed in mock concentration.

There was a slight awkwardness to it, she supposed, but part of her also found it an absolute pleasure. To tease to cajole with him. She supposed had they been home, their reactions and the like would have been bad. And she may have gotten Ully killed for her boldness. And yet, she couldn't quite regret these actions, especially so far from home and with that thought, her mind went into a freefall. She was extremely happy, content, whatever it was to be. Granted, there were moments of sadness, it bloomed in the silence, but she wasn't as upset as she could be. She realized this in one quick fell swoop and the silence grew with her unease.

Ully. She whispered.

 She met his gaze with her own, a small vulnerability there. 

Do you think I'm being to happy. I...well.. I don't miss my parents. I'm sad that they are dead and yet part of me feels like it was supposed to happen, or more so that it was coming. Does this make me an awful wolf and daughter? That I can't find grief for the actions that I feel they brought onto theirselves?

She pressed her paw into the frozen snow, pressing so hard, it cracked beneath her weight. Was she a terrible being? Should she be ashamed?

The way she whispered his name sent a chill down his spine and he looked at her in concern. Silently, he took in her words, her questions, and they made him feel unbearably sad. She should not have to ask these questions at all. She should not feel this way. She should be happy, and safe, and not here, alone, with only himself for company. She deserved the world.

He tried to keep his voice calm when he answered her, though he wanted to shout the words--not at her, but at the world. No, he began, and swallowed, and heard the tremble in his voice. You are not a bad wolf, or a bad daughter, or a bad anything. Adylaide... He paused on her name, as it still tasted strange on his tongue, an unfamiliar, taboo word. We... We all react to trauma... differently, though my commanders would've preferred if that were not the case. However you... feel is... is the correct way to feel. There's nothing wrong with you. Even if there were, he admitted, I'm not sure I would care.

Ulrich looked away from her, out at the horizon, gathering his thoughts, trying to figure out if there was anything more he needed to say. Finally, he whispered, I only want you to be happy. Surely, that truth was not a bad thing to admit? Surely it did not mean more than what he intended?

Ady hadn't meant to upset him, and she kept her gaze from his again. Her eyes boring into the ground. She was unsure what she wanted here. She supposed she just wanted him to tell her it was okay to feel this way. That she had loved her parents, but she didn't have to miss them.

Her name on his lips was the one thing that brought her back to reality and she tuned in again. He told her she wasn't bad, that she was normal. She frowned in thought, was she though? Had she ever been?

A small smile left her lips at his small admission and a watery chuckle shook her throat. His next words though, and her throat tightened even more and she pressed forward and against. 

I know you don't like touching me Ully, but I just need a hug. So don't move for a minute okay. She pressed her face into his shoulder, and didn't say anything else. She just needed that comfort, she'd be fine in a moment.

Thank you Ully.

Ulrich hissed a breath between his fangs and his body stiffened at her touch, but he did not pull away. He had no idea what to do with himself, but she had told him to hold still, so he did. He held so still, in fact, that he did not breathe for the duration of the hug. He felt her press against his shoulder and all the nerves in his body seemed to set alight. He swallowed uncomfortably, unsure of what emotion he was feeling in that moment. Fear? Discomfort? ... Joy? He was not supposed to feel happy about this. He was supposed to tell her that they could not touch one another. But... but who was here to enforce the rules? Only himself, and doing so was exhausting.

But he had known from birth. Did that not make things awkward? They were not so far off in age, but the way he treated her, he might as well be a second father to her. And yet always she wanted to be touched, or to touch him. He was not completely stupid. He was aware that she, perhaps, thought of him... more closely than she should. But... Did he have the heart to break her? To tell her that he did not care for her in that way? It had never come to that in the past, but... but if it did, out here, alone, would he have the strength to turn her away? Would it not be better to give in, so that they would stick together? So that he could protect her?

All these thoughts rushed through him in but a few seconds, and then she pulled away from him again, the embrace over, and he felt... empty. Empty and exhausted and... My lady, we should move on from this place, he said, his voice very quiet. He did not look at her. We must find somewhere sheltered to bed down. It is not so late in the day, but we must not leave this task til too late, or we will regret it. He kept his eyes firmly away, and waited for her response. She gave it, and they went on their way.