Redhawk Caldera breaking the habit

"I'm not sure, actually," Peregrine admitted hollowly. "She wasn't even living in the Teekon Wilds, as far as I knew, and then she popped up at my borders." He swallowed. "But if she's living anywhere, it would be with Blacktail Deer Plateau or with her sister, Saena. I'm not sure where she's settled." And now it didn't matter anymore. He wouldn't venture out to see where his palest daughter had sought her fortunes, nor would she be welcome when she inevitably showed up on his doorstep. Junior had ruined any chance at hospitable relations between the caldera and the rest of the world, though particularly Peregrine's adult children. He sighed.

Like most but Fox, Pan seemed to give Peregrine the benefit of the doubt. He appreciated it, even though it didn't stop him from blaming himself. "I should have known better than to bring a veritable stranger around my kids. How could I be so stupid?" he asked in an acerbically rhetorical tone. He heaved another sigh, then tensed when he felt a cool nose pressing against his neck.

Gently, he turned his head and returned the nudge. Even if he didn't deserve Pan's support, the gentle touch made Peregrine feel unexpectedly needy. Would Fox ever touch him like that again? He wasn't sure. He didn't even know where they stood. And though he felt guilty for it—he deserved no measure of comfort right now—he found himself leaning into his pale companion as tears of guilt and pain suddenly brimmed in his eyes. He couldn't let go like this in front of the kids, nor would he allow himself to break down this way in front of many of the other pack members, but he felt safe being vulnerable in front of Pantaleimon.