Redhawk Caldera Break my bones just to heal your pain

She was going to be a mother.  Finley Blackthorn was going to be a mother.  It was the single most wonderful and terrifying sentence known to man wolf.  Had she come to realize this before when she'd lost none of them and had just.. well, had she just not be so frickin' stupid and had realized that bloating and vomiting meant BABIES in the first place, her reaction to knowing then that she was pregnant would have been far, far different.  There would have been a lot more 'OMGOMGOMG' moments and less.. 'THANKGODTHANKGODTHANKGOD' moments like this one.  For had she never nearly lost them, she never would have known how desperately she wanted them.


And not just for her.. but for the man she held so lovingly in her arms.

Fin's eyes slowly opened when Elwood broke the joyous quiet that had fallen between them to ask a simple, yet monumental question.  She loosened her grip upon him slightly then, her fear and worry beginning to creep back in as doubt led the way.  She pulled back slightly, turning her muzzle away from him as she bit her lip nervously.  Her eyes betrayed her as they slipped back towards the handsome silver and charcoal of his fur, glimpsing nervously the moonshine in his eyes.

"I know..."" she said softly, "I know.. what I did was horrible.  And I can't even begin to..."  Finley fell quiet then, shutting her eyes tight.  She had never been good at words or.. emotional things in general.  With a breath she began to try again, this time deciding to let all of it go - all of the hurt, all of the doubt, all of the whatever, because what did it matter?  There was a tiny little life growing within her and it needed them both, regardless of whatever baggage or doubt either of them held.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, finally stepping back so that she could fully look upon his face as she spoke, "I love you.  And...  The worst of all of the terrible things that I thought through all of this... Was that I had let you down and that.. I didn't deserve you because I could never give you the things you deserve."  She gulped down the lump in her throat.  There was a wall before her, a wall that she had always balked away from but she now had the strength not to climb, but to just charge straight through.  Her own doubts and fears meant nothing to her.  Her life wasn't hers anymore - it belonged to the soul that grew within her.

"I want to stay," she said, her voice shaking, "I want to stay with you.  I want to raise this little one with you.  I want to be... I want to be like the most awesome mom ever to your kids...  So that I can make you happy.  And...."  She paused then, fully realizing that her rather poetic prose was coming swiftly to an end for she'd - in rather Finley-like fashion - completely expended all of her fancy vocab.

And thus, she ended her speech with the most eloquent monologue she had ever given.  "I wanna be your god damn mate so we can raise this fucking awesome baby and then have tons of even more awesome babies together forever and.. Fucking god damnit."