Redhawk Caldera Exes and ohs

Pan seemed enthused about them in a general sense. Peregrine knew that most pack mates would feel the very same way: excited to welcome the pack's newest members. But Pan had a different relationship with the Alphas (well, one of them) than other members. It didn't seem right not to give him a special title or role. It sounded simple, though Peregrine was only one of two parents and he imagined that Fox would like Pan to be involved, for sure, but perhaps not any more than an uncle. And would that be enough for Pan? Or would it just serve as a reminder that he could never have children of his own, at least not with Peregrine?

The swarthy wolf suddenly felt an arrow of guilt pierce through him, causing him to stop in his tracks. Peregrine had managed to put Pan in an impossible position, where he would not only never be someone's primary, he would also never get a chance to become a parent. On the other hand, if Pan found someone else (male or female), he could probably find a way to become a parent.  He would always play second banana to Fox, not only because of her seniority but simply because of the biology of it all. Maybe Peregrine needed to stop being so selfish and set Pan free.

But would Pan want that? Or was he willing to make sacrifices to keep Peregrine? "Maybe," Peregrine found himself saying without thinking it through, "maybe we would be better as friends, Pan." Only after the words left his mouth did he realize what a bomb he had dropped. He turned to focus his good eye on Pan, almost as if fearing what he'd said would literally crush the man. "I love you," he added hurriedly, because it was true, "but I think... I'm holding you back."