Morningside Cuesta ii. nine lives

He could only stare at her as he spoke, his emotions flickering rapidly from sympathy to anger to guilt. Only when he’d worked through each one did he speak, having swallowed back his pride. “I haven’t seen her at all,” he replied, his voice quiet and reedy. “I haven’t looked for her. I don’t mean to be chasin’ her. I don’t like to dream about her.”

It was strange to look at Khoe’s face and know that his love for Adeline had never been a secret - not from her. He wondered if he should bother trying to tell her that it wasn’t what she thought, that she didn’t have to worry, that Adeline was like his own child in all the ways he cared about. But Day didn’t think she’d believe him, and sometimes, he wasn’t sure he believed himself.

“There was nothin’ goin’ on between us, Khoe. You can believe that, or you can tell me I’m lying. That’s up to you. But when Adeline left,” he said, his eyes fixed on a point somewhere over his mate’s shoulder, “do you know what she said to me?” It still hurt to think the words, and to realize that it’d never been a secret from her, either. How bad did I hurt you? he thought. “She said - ‘you can’t have both’. And I let her go, and I came home.”

He made himself look at her, then. “I don’t mean to hurt you, Khoe. This isn’t something I can control. But I need you to believe that you’re important to me, and that I care about you, and that I’m trying my best. I need you to believe that I’m not goin’ anywhere - not for nothin’, and not for her. Can you believe that? Can that be enough for you?”