Morningside Cuesta ii. nine lives

Grayday let out a long, slow breath, as if he could push away all his anger with the air from his chest. He didn't understand this woman - she didn't seem like the same Akuti that he'd begun to fall for so quickly. That woman would never have held his children hostage, mocked him with her eyes and words. That woman would have listened to him, would have cared that he was hurting. He'd thought he could confide in her, but it looked like that was out of the question.

"Well what more do you want me to do, Khoe?" he asked her, turning his head away when she came out of the den. He couldn't even look at her right then; he didn't want to associate the anger he was feeling with the sight of her, nor did he want to acknowledge that the Akuti he'd known and the Khoe that he'd seen tonight were the same. "What am I not giving you? You say trying's not enough, but you know what I hear? I'm not enough."

The words came out rough and bitter, and he was sorely hoping she couldn't see the tears in his eyes. It sounds like you've got a choice to make, he wanted to say, but he wasn't going to give her an ultimatum. He wasn't going to remind her that she could leave, because he didn't think he'd make it through that, and more importantly, he wasn't sure his infant children would. Hell, he wasn't even sure Dawn would, at this point.

"I've been up front with you, Khoe. I told you I was broken, but I like to think I've been doing okay. I'm not falling apart, I'm not moping around - I hunt, I protect you, and I've been with you all through this. I thought we were happy - I've been happy. But apparently, you're not. So does that sound like I'm not doing enough, or does that sound like I'm just not enough, period?"

He shook his head, anger burning in his gut once more, and squeezed his eyes shut to keep more tears from falling.