Broken Boulder if there were any more left of me, i'd give it to you

He shook his head. "I'll never forget it," Zamael murmured, twisting to rest his chin on the top of Alarian's head (with some effort, since they were around the same size). "Not any of it. It's all burned into my brain. I just gotta. . .I dunno, shove it all back. Because I can't change anything that happened. No matter how much I want to."

He didn't know whether it comforted or horrified him to know that Alarian often thought of the past, too. He wanted so badly for his brother to leave everything behind, to take full heart in his new life--but he also was relieved to know that he wasn't alone. That their childhood had been so traumatic that it had left an indelible mark on them both.

"It was all fucked," Zamael breathed. "We both deserved better than what we got. At least we have a chance to start over." He pulled back, a rare smile blooming over his face as he stared at Alarian. Marveling at how different he was. . .yet how little he had changed, over the years. He still saw the child's milky blue eyes in the man's face, if he looked hard enough.