Porcupine Ridge but i am drifting

as indra stared at him, marten could sense the growing tension that she had something to say to him. unbeknownst to him, indra had nothing but dark wisdom to dispense onto him, and as she began to speak, marten grew stiller and stiller -- but he did not grow uncomfortable. maybe weary, but only because he could sense the sadness that seeped from his mother in great tides. towards the end, when she got a little more blunt, marten moved -- only to search her features more delicately. 

he asked only a single question, at first, his brows furrowed deeply. "then why would we look?" he was quiet then for a moment, wondering if it was a question that he should have asked. his eyes, mismatched but steady upon his mother, focused as he found in his mind another string of questions. "if it's all doom and gloom then... why would we bother?" 

marten understood the concept of hope -- was hopeful for many things himself. but the way that indra and laurel spoke made it seem like all hope was lost... all the time. and yet here they were, dragging themselves across no mans land for a lost cause. they were just so pessimistic. and maybe they were right to be, they're both grown up with a sizable amount of trauma but... marten, who had seen his own -- in different ways, his life was good and he knew it -- didn't understand why someone would spend so much of their energy being so pessimistic. and yet, hopeful, somehow. 

"i don't mean to upset you, mama," he added, a bit quieter. his problem with all their traveling had little to do with indra herself, and he felt he was taking out his grievances on her. "i'm just... trying to understand, i guess."