Sun Mote Copse The corner bar, it just seemed right so I pulled up

Eljay didn't tell him to shut up and shove off, so unfortunately, he'd have to continue.  The only soul he'd ever told this entire story to was Niamh, and even she not everything.  There were certain things you just didn't dwell on when you lost someone and found someone new.

Her name was Nell, and when I met her the first time, she didn't want to give me the time of day.  Said she saw right through me and knew my type.  Only problem was, I didn't know hers.  Managed to talk her into agreeing to travel with me, and before I knew it, I couldn't imagine a day without her in it.  Never felt anything like that before her.  He was lost in the memory of it now, expression distant, looking out.

Why she agreed to be my mate I'll never know, but we had two of the best months of my life that far before she took sick.  She had just started mentioning kids, thinking maybe...  Shit.  His voice caught a second.  Even now, two years later, it could still flatten him like this.  Moments like telling the story now, or hearing Niamh offer their daughter her name.  Love never really left once it settled in.  It was quick, just like this.  One day she just fell, out on a hunt.  Said she couldn't feel her legs.  Next few days she faded away.  Wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, by the end couldn't even talk.  It's the worst feeling I've ever known, not being able to do anything to stop her from going.  I lost it for a while, and I still don't think I'm the same wolf I was before it happened.  There was some shit in this world you came out of that couldn't do anything but change you.  This right here; probably one of those things.

He glanced at Eljay, bringing it around.  I'm not offerin sympathy, because I remember I didn't want it.  But I am gonna say this.  If you need to cry, kid, then cry.  Or if you want to talk about it, yell about it, I'm here.  Don't worry about your kids or the pack, because we know, and we understand.  And maybe your kids just need to see it's okay for them to feel it too.  Everyone had a breaking point, and while Colt wasn't a wolf who wore his heart on his sleeve like his nephew, for once he didn't see Eljay's sensitivity as a weakness.  Here it could be a strength, because it would help them all to heal a little faster than wolves like Colt, who tended to bury things.