Ouroboros Spine pijannituk ⩅

weeks passed. neither relented. whether adrastus remained or had left the village, lótë could not have said for sure. she tried not to think of it. 

she mourned but this was a grief she had never known. it was tangled up with anger and betrayal and humiliation. she had settled into the routine of life without much preamble -- already accustomed to the pain that squeezed at her heart and the loneliness. it was silent, as if to talk about it would only make her feel more stupid. but there were things yet to be cherished. 

there were no secrets as the children toddled between lótë's home and kukutux's and no shame either -- only acceptance. at times she might glance about her and find herself tearing up at the sight of their two families mixed up together. ocasionally she wondered why that was so hard for her former mate to give but banished the thought whenever it intruded. the forlornness only came at night.

her eyes brightened at the sight of the moonwoman as she entered the den, widening slightly as she processed what her sister offered. 

once, she had thought they might be joined together in such a way -- with adrastus, no less. now, she was only grateful that they had not both been subjugated to his unkindness. a shudder pulled at her to think what he would say of kausiut's paw. 

"i would accept and i thank you for your kindness," she murmured softly, touching her nose to kukutux's shoulder briefly in consolation. it warmed her heart to think of their children alongside each other. and yet..

"but i do not think i can stay here much longer." the admittance fell as a heavy secret, voice dropping low as if afraid someone might be listening. "soon my children will be weaned and i do not trust adrastus to stay away from them once they are old enough to move about the territory."

it was not his place, nor hers, to decide who ink was to be. to change them for the sake of preserving appearances or for the opinions of others. to hell with others. she would not allow the pale hunter to confuse the poor children, tell them who and what they could be. her worst fear was that he would spirit them away when he came to grips with how serious she was. 

"i love you -- simple as that," she smiled, knowing she had never said it aloud before. "but aiolos makes you happy...i do not wish to intrude on that. you deserve the kind of love you have found in him."

"i would do it even if i didn't love both of you like family if only to keep my children safe." there were advantages to such an arrangement, kukutux had not lied about that. the bird-watcher thought that perhaps in time, maybe the three of them could even grow to love each other as all husbands and wives did. even if custom dictated that she would always be second.

but she did not truly believe that even the safe harbor of aiolos and kukutux could stop the darkness in his voice. 

"i think it might be best if i took the children to the caldera -- further if they haven't got the room or don't want us,"  her eyes moved to the dewdrop's, her regret buried in her spring gaze.

"i will return someday," she promised, "perhaps when my children are grown."