Ouroboros Spine weep for me, for I have no tears left

"Why did Inutsuk leave."

He knew better than to not expect this question first. It was the simplest, yet the hardest all at once. The answer was close in reach, but Inustuk struggled to find the words. No matter which he used, none could make an answer that was worthy. Honest, but never worthy.

Swallowing hard, the tawny man looked to the woman he once called wife. I left... Silence. Only for a moment. ... I feared myself, as both husband and father. After Mojag was born, I was overjoyed, but also overwhelmed. Never in my life have I experienced love-.. such as what I feel for you... nor did I ever think I would father a child. Inutsuk looked to his paws, daring not to look too hard in her gaze.

... I feared that I would not be enough for you... for Mojag. I had spoken to sunman and moonwoman, but I needed different advice from another husband and father. But that wasn't the whole truth. I think that part of me was searching for another excuse to say I was no good for you, so that I could leave you the space to find someone better. He did not deserve her, no matter how many times he was told it was not so. 

Then he looked to her, eyes holding great pain from within. It was not the pain of his healing sickness and wounds; it was the pain he knew she felt, and the sorrow that he'd caused it. It was not my intention to be gone for so long, but the more I walked, the further engrossed I became in my thoughts of doubt. My heart desired to return to you, and to our son... but the rest of me clung on, continuing to say you were better without me. I lost my way... and I do not wish to be lost anymore- I want to come home, is what he truly meant to say. But such was selfish. Maybe Shikoba did not want him to come home.