Hushed Willows omission of thy mother's love [birth]

Sorry it's a bit late, but I can't wait!! :D Birth order is: @Eros, @Kavos and finally, @Prialux. She most likely will not give them names until a little bit later. 

 

it was time; she could feel it. yet, she suppressed the pains of incoming birth, attempting to prolong the existence of beings she did not want. spasms of pain racked her body and she clenched her teeth, hunched in a crippled state within the darkness of an abandoned den. no, no, no. she was not ready. she would never be ready. how could she? she was no mother, she had made a mistake and now fate would bring her the consequences. yet, her hesitance to deliver the children were not purely self motivated. she had been unfaithful once, she only seen it impossible for her to be the mother a child deserved as she had proved herself incapable of keeping anyone close and safe. she could not even care for herself, let alone multiple beings unable to survive without her. yet, as much as she willed it, she could not disrupt nature's course and in the end she lay exhausted against the dirt floor of the cavern; three twitching bundles lay huddled against her side. 

the pain had been too much, yet she knew it was her penance for what she had done; what she deserved. and to her horror, all carried the same pale coat she had come to fear. a sob escaped her quivering maw, a gut wrenching feeling she could not identify. every day would become a reminder by simply gazing at her children of what she had done, and what she could have had. never would she be able to forget, never could she ever move on. everywhere she looked, they would be there; he would be there. she wept as she nudged them to her side, a heart full of hate yet unable to bring herself to cast them away. this was her responsibility, whether she was willing or not. a boy, a boy and a girl. as they suckled she lay her head against the ground, blinking away tears that threatened to slip. they would always be her's, by they would never have her. that much, she vowed as she refused to look at them, was certain.