Sleeping Dragon 808s & heartbreak

Even though Freyja was still recalling her meeting with Seff, she broke away from her thoughts to check up on @Wildfire. What had happened to the Bandrona was very upsetting to the Feisripa and she wanted to make sure that she was there for the leader as she had been there for her. All of the very recent occurrences also were a great way of keeping Freyja’s mind off of everything that had happened with Goliath and she was glad for every distraction that came her way. It was only when she was alone with her thoughts, usually just before she slept, that Freyja found her mind wandering to the giant.

With a squirrel clamped in her jaws, Freyja carried herself towards the den where Wildfire resided. She only stopped once she was at the mouth of the den and dropped the squirrel promptly. She did debate calling out, in fear of waking her up, but, despite this, she decided against that judgement and called out with a low woof. Once the call was made, the child ducked so that she could peek in, hoping that she would catch familiar glint of the leader’s eyes.

Wildfire spent the first few days after the attack sleeping off the pain. Only now, as she began the long recovery process, did she have time to reflect on what had happened to her. Saena's attack troubled her, the severity and brutality of it. Her half-sister had turned on her without warning, nearly killing her. They had never been friends, yet they had been friendly. She couldn't help but wonder if Saena had overreacted because of her long, violent and bitter history with the Redhawks. Maybe she had just snapped, after all this time. More likely, she had always been this unpredictable and treacherously two-faced.

The Bandrona was dwelling when the smell of blood announced the arrival of meat à la the pack's Feisripa. Wildfire tried to smile when Freyja popped her head into the doorway, yet between the physical damage and emotional trauma, she couldn't quite manage. Nor could she do so much as stand, not with the wound on her thigh. It was still painful but it was also dry and itchy due to scabbing. As a matter of fact, her entire body was covered in similar, dreadfully itchy scabs.

Turning her head to the side—her right eye was still partially swollen shut—Wildfire peered at the pup for a moment before saying, "That for me?" in the lightest tone she could manage. It came out as more of a flat croak.

The exact details of Wildfire’s injuries had been left a total mystery to Freyja. Though the call from just beyond the packlands had been one enveloped in panic, Freyja couldn’t even venture to imagine just what had been done to her beloved mentor.

An answer came in way of a croak and her ears perked, confused in the weakness in her tone. Frowning, she hesitated for a moment as she attempted to get a better look inside the den to get a peek of how the leader was faring. As she did this, she called out in reply. “Yes, it is! Mind if I come in?”

The sound of her own voice took Wildfire by surprise. Her throat had been a little sore since the attack, not because Saena had done anything to it—although there were bite wounds littered all over her neck—but because she had taken two swims in ice cold water. She was very fortunate not to have developed hypothermia then or pneumonia later.

She felt suddenly self-conscious, aware of how she must look and sound. Did she want Freyja seeing her this way? Did she even feel up to company? Wildfire didn't answer for a long beat after the Feisripa's question, though eventually she decided she couldn't turn the girl away. Perhaps a visit would get her mind off Saena for a little bit.

"Sure," she said quietly. "Just—I look pretty bad," Wildfire warned lamely.

With her question still hanging in the air, Freyja found herself met with a prolonged pause. Though she wished very much to barge in and bury the leader in her affections, she waited for the proper permission. Once this was given, Freyja promptly picked up the squirrel and ducked into the den. Upon doing this, Freyja was quick to notice how heavy and still the air grew the deeper she climbed in and a frown formed at this. The warning of Wildfire’s condition lingered in the foreground of her mind as she pulled up before the leader and dropped the morsel at her paws.

As she pulled back from doing this, Freyja caught her first real glance of the damage that had been done. She felt her jaw slack and her eyes widened at this, unable to control her initial reaction. But as quickly as it had sprung from her, she retracted it as she overtook a more composed persona.

Carefully, Freyja then leaned towards the Bandrona and touched her nose to her cheek. Anger churned in her belly as she did this and upon pulling back there was a new light shining in her chestnut-colored eyes. She tensed there as plots of revenge ravaged through her mind. “Please, eat,” she insisted as she seated herself, hoping that the leader would do just that so that Freyja could be left for a moment longer with her thoughts.

She knew better than to take Freyja's reaction personally, though it made her cringe a little on the inside. She must look horrible. The Feisripa quickly schooled her expression and sat back, though not before reaching out toward Wildfire. The Bandrona shut her eyes and flinched away from the touch.

"I'm sorry," she said, then tried to explain, "it's just—everything hurts." She wouldn't even let Thuringwethil touch her if she could help it. She felt like a big itchy, painful scab with four legs and a tail. "And I ate a little while ago, so I'm not hungry. But," Wildfire was quick to add, "I will definitely save this for later. Thank you, Frey."

Sucking in a quiet breath, the Bandrona asked, "How're you holding up?" She hadn't forgot about the youngster's plight even in light of her own attack. And, truthfully, Wildfire would much rather focus on something and someone else besides her own violent assault.

The strings of Freyja’s heart strummed as she watched her mentor flinch at the touch. Quickly, her ears flattened at the site and she silently scolded herself for causing the Bandrona any discomfort. When Wildfire apologized, Freyja shook her head with a frown. “No, please, don’t be sorry,” she urged quietly. Wildfire had no reason to be sorry, as much as Freyja was concerned. When it was explained that the red-furred woman would not be eating, Freyja simple nodded and seated herself. The squirrel was Wildfire’s and she could do whatever she pleased with it, as far as Freyja was concerned.

The conversation flipped from Wildfire’s being and onto Freyja and as she was asked on her being, the Feisripa hesitated. She was fine most of the time, especially when she had a distraction, but she was often vulnerable when she was only with herself.

“I’m… better,” she concluded after a pause, her undertones heavy with the thoughts that plagued her young mind. “I’ve been keeping myself pre-occupied, but, when I’m alone, he haunts me.” Uncomfortable at the subject matter, she shook herself, as if attempting to rid herself of the memory that followed her like a dark raincloud.

Perhaps trying to play therapist for her young friend while in such bad shape—having been attacked in much the same way, including the part where she hadn't told anybody the truth afterward—wasn't such a good idea. Wildfire felt a sickly feeling pass through her and she swallowed against a sudden lump in her throat. It hurt her to hear that Goliath haunted Freyja. It also angered her, deeply. But there was nothing to be done for it. She was an invalid, for starters, and even if she hadn't just been given the beat-down of her life, she didn't know how to conquer Freyja's ghosts.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered uselessly, noticing the look if discomfort on the pup's face. "Would you like to talk about something else? You could tell me a story or something," Wildfire suggested randomly, "or I could tell you one? Something happy."

It seemed as if both wolves were fighting inner demons and that they both needed each other now more than ever. Though she wanted to protest Wildfire’s apology, she didn’t and instead remained silent as she shifted her gaze to the ground. She wasn’t quite sure what they could speak about, but, despite this, Freyja wanted to put on her bravest face for Wildfire. So it was with this ambition that she brainstormed a possible story as she assumed that Wildfire wasn't in the best condition to storytell. 

“I can tell you about how I met a new friend,” she started, finding her happy place suddenly as she recalled her time with Seff.

Even as the words left her mouth, Wildfire tried to think of something happy to share with the Feisripa. Of course, the brightest light in her life—not dimmed even by Saena's attack—was the knowledge that she would get to bear pups soon. But she hadn't spoken of this with anyone other than the wolves it directly involved, mostly out of respect for everybody's privacy. Maybe, though, she could mention her general plans versus any of the specifics. She wondered what Freyja would think.

But before she could say anything, the girl offered to tell Wildfire about a new friend. The Bandrona tried to force a smile onto her lips but didn't manage. So she nodded instead, inviting Freyja to, "Tell me all about them."

She was invited to speak about her new friend and despite the sadness that hung about them, Freyja felt herself smile. “His name is Seff and he lives in Blackfeather Woods,” she began, already feeling her face flush as she thoughts about him. “He likes plants and exploring and he wanted to be my friend. He wants me to teach him about Drageda and hunting and he’ll teach me about plants and exploring.” Her vocabulary was uncharacteristically childish as she explained explain him. Her head reeled as she recalled him, blocking the necessary words she tried to express.

“And he makes me feel funny.” This was an unexpected train of thought that we boarded, but it was true. Something about him made her feel like she had swallowed a mouthful of butterflies.

She expected Freyja to name someone from Drageda, perhaps even a fresh recruit, but instead she began speaking about a young boy from another pack altogether. Wildfire blinked, a little taken aback. Wasn't Blackfeather Woods the forest next door to her parents' territory, many miles to the south of here? She wasn't entirely sure, yet she wondered how Freyja had ventured that far. It was possible she hadn't—maybe they'd met in the middle somewhere—but she felt what could only be motherly instincts kicking into overdrive as the Feisripa regaled her.

"Oh yeah?" she asked softly, wondering if Freyja may have developed a bit of a crush on this Seff. That didn't do much to tamp her inner defensiveness, though her quiet tone betrayed nothing. "How'd you meet him?" she wondered genuinely. Where had they met? Had anyone been there to keep an eye on things? Freyja was mature and accomplished for her age—sometimes, Wildfire forgot that she wasn't even six months old yet—but that didn't mean she didn't need someone to look out for her at all times. She was still a little girl in all the ways that counted.

“Well, the first time I met him I was with Heda,” she began, recalling her memory of the day that the pair had run into Seff and Vuk. “Heda sometimes takes me exploring while she teaches me, so we journeyed somewhere that day.” She was unsure of just where they had been that day. “And then we ran into Seff and his Mom and it didn’t last long, but, the whole I felt like I couldn’t stop looking at him.” She froze for a minute, wondering if that was odd. It felt odd to her to admit that.

“That was awhile ago,” she said after the brief pause. “Then the other day Heda took me out to another territory to learn and we parted ways for lunch. I was following a trail and somehow it lead me right to him. He grew up and is much taller than me.” Towering over Freyja was an easy thing to do. The girl was petite in size, her stature threatening to stand just an inch taller than Wildfire at full height, and everybody seemed large and tall to her. “And then we caught up again before Heda came and found me.” That was the last time she had saw him.

It immediately smoothed some of the proverbial prickles when Freyja mentioned that Thuringwethil had been nearby during these encounters with Seff. It didn't settle Wildfire entirely, though. Based on what Freyja had to say about him, she had definitely developed a crush. She knew she should trust the Feisripa's judgment—and the commander's as well—but she couldn't help but think of wolves like Goober and worry about Freyja's innocence and virtue.

"What does Heda think of him?" Wildfire wondered, her curiosity again quite authentic. Realizing she hadn't really said anything beyond her two pointed questions, she paused and added, "It sound like you might have your first crush, Frey." She wanted to smile, maybe even to tease, but she was torn. On one hand, she felt like a mother or aunt figure to Freyja and, on the other, she wanted to be her friend. Plus there was that whole thing where she felt like one giant scab.

She felt a curiosity come upon her as Wildfire spoke, her head tilting and her lower lip defining slightly as she paused. Heda hadn’t mentioned what she had thought of Seff, but, given the fact that she had remembered Seff seemed more like a good thing than bad in the Feisripa’s mind. “She didn’t mention anything,” she admitted cautiously. “But, she did remember Seff the second time. So, I don’t think she thought anything bad of him.” But, who was she to know?

Wildfire’s next point was concerning and Freyja’s expression shifted. She had yet to learn of the birds and the bees and so this expression was foreign to her. “A crush?” She echoed slowly, her eyebrows rising as she attempted to make sense of it all. “What is that? It sounds painful.” She could only making the correlation in her mind between the word and crushing a bug. To her, that did not sound fun whatsoever.

The girl's innocent question and astute observation caused Wildfire to chuckle abruptly, though she quickly bit it back because laughing—just like almost everything else at this point—hurt. She grimaced, wondering if she should shoo Freyja away and try to get some sleep. When she was asleep, she wasn't aware of the pain.

But she couldn't leave the Feisripa hanging. "It's kind of a funny term, isn't it? It just means that you like him," Wildfire explained. "You're too young to take a mate," she continued, a note of motherly sternness in her voice, "but you're right at the age where you'll start noticing boys—or girls, or both—in a romantic capacity. It's natural, instinctual; nearly all of us seek companionship, a partner."

Even with her concern, Freyja did notice the grimace that came from the other’s laughter. Her ears flattened to this and she refocused her concern from herself to her mentor’s wellbeing.

Despite the pain Wildfire seemed well enough to explain to Freyja just what a “crush” entailed. Though it did not seem that bad to Freyja, there was still some confusion that Freyja needed to address. “So, everybody goes through this?” One of her main concerns laid in how this would affect her ambitions of one day becoming Queen. “You went through this with Heda?” She knew that Wildfire and Thuringwethil were mates, so they must’ve gone through this too, she assumed.

Wildfire took a moment to ponder Freyja's next few questions. The term "crush" didn't seem to fit her feelings toward Thuringwethil, then or now. First of all, she hadn't been consciously aware of them for the longest time. When she finally recognized her feelings for what they were, they were already unfathomably deep. No, she wouldn't have applied that term to herself and the commander, though she would say she'd once had a crush on Floki.

She didn't want to bring up her former mate, nor psychoanalyze her current relationship, so Wildfire just said, "Yes, sort of. And I think most do, though perhaps not everyone. It's perfectly normal." Her lips twitched into the faintest smile before just as quickly falling out of sheer exhaustion. "Have you had the talk with your mother?" she couldn't help but wonder next.

Though she was content with Wildfire’s answer, she wanted to know where the “sort of” came from. But as she was about to ask this, Wildfire mentioned something that brought her thoughts to pause. The talk? Her head tilted heavily to the side.

For the second time in their conversation, Freyja felt utterly lost. “The…. talk?” she asked, wishing for clarification. She had had many talks with her mother, but never one that had been labeled as “the talk”. She felt silent, her eyes resting on the uninjured side of Wildfire’s face as she waited for the clarification she desired.

The Feisripa didn't seem to follow, which answered Wildfire's question. She looked at Freyja speculatively for a moment. She wouldn't mind talking to her about these matters but she didn't feel it was her place. That right belonged only to the girl's parents, more specifically her mother. If Gyda didn't want to do it, she would likely direct her daughter to someone like Portia to explain. The Bandrona wouldn't overstep her bounds.

"The sex talk," she clarified quietly. "Ask your mother," she added. Whether or not Gyda was prepared to field Freyja's questions, Wildfire figured it was time to talk to her if she was already developing crushes. That wasn't really her call, either, but whenever Freyja brought it up to her mother, then Gyda could do whatever she wanted with it.

While they were on the subject (not that she would get explicit), Wildfire decided to mention, "Has Heda told you the good news? She and I are planning to start a family sometime soon."

“The sex talk.”

Freyja was confused further by the phrase, but, instead of questioning it, she merely nodded her head and made a note to get some time to talk to her mother about it. Though she was still in the dark about it all, the child figured that it was an important matter that needed to be addressed.

The next set of news caused Freyja’s confusion to be cast aside and for a sparkle to set in the Feisripa’s eyes. “That is excellent news!” Since Freyja was not aware of where babies came from, she did not have an confusion on just how they would conceive. Instead, her mind went to work of how she would find relation to their offspring. “I’ll teach them everything about Drageda and hunting,” she decided then, already wishing to take them under her proverbial wing as Wildfire had done for her.

She really wasn't sure how the Feisripa would receive the news. Wildfire braced herself for anything. In hindsight, she should have known Freyja would be cheerful and enthusiastic about the idea. In spite of her pain and exhaustion, the Bandrona finally managed a smile. Her wildest dream was going to come true and it felt really, really good for someone so close to her to react so favorably.

"I'd love that," Wildfire said. "You could be like their big sister." If Gavriel had agreed to father the pups, they would have literally been siblings, though shared genes didn't matter much to her. She didn't share blood with Freyja but that didn't stop her from loving her like a niece. "I think you'll be really good at it."

An idea struck her suddenly. "Have you ever heard of a godparent, Frey? I'm not sure they're part of Drageda's culture," she said thoughtfully, "but, well, they're part of mine." Her lips curled ever so slightly. Redhawk Caldera had been a lot more traditional than cultural, though this was an important takeaway for Wildfire. "It's an important role, a way to recognize someone special to the pups, someone who will be close to them and help raise them." There was more to it—technically, a godparent took over child-rearing responsibility in the event of the parents' death—though Wildfire didn't think it was necessary to mention that very unlikely possibility.

Feeling all the more excited with the Bandrona’s reaction, Freyja felt her smile grow despite her not making a voluntary move to do so. She wanted nothing more to be a prominent figure in the lives of  Heda and Wildfire’s children and she knew she would do everything in her power to ensure that they learned everything that they could. Though the whole process of sexual reproduction was still a mystery to her, she was sure that she would fall in love with them instantly. “I would love to be their big sister,” she replied with a wag of her tail.

Wildfire’s next idea was one that caused her brows the raise. She shook her head to the leader’s first question, unsure of the direction that the conversation was turning. With each part of the explanation that came, Frejya found herself growing more fond of the idea of a godparent. “It sounds like what you are to me.” Though Wildfire wasn’t officially a godparent, Freyja felt a strong kinship to the red-furred leader and hoped to be the same to her offspring.

Freyja pointed out that Wildfire was practically her godmother by that definition. She concurred and it warmed her heart that the Feisripa felt that way. It was even better than being considered an aunt. She was a loved one as well as a role model and mentor, much like Elwood and Finley Blackthorn had been for her. Ignoring the stinging and aching of her broken skin, she reached out to touch her cool nose to the corner of the girl's eye in an affectionate gesture.

Drawing back, she asked, "I'll have to pass it by Heda but what would you think of being our children's godmother?"

Wildfire’s affection, despite her pain, was a gesture that caused Freyja’s heart to warm within an instant. This sensation only blossomed with the offering that the leader offered. Freyja was by character a calmer wolf, but, the good news drove her out of her norm and into a more lively persona.

“I would want nothing in the world more than that!” she breathed within an instant, the words tumbling naturally as she felt her mood climb to a naturally induced high. Almost giddy in her joy, the child’s tail waved madly and she strongly refrained from pulling Wildfire into an embrace. “Yes, I would be more than honored to! I’ll do everything I can for them!” She attempted to wrangle this excitement, but she was failing miserably. Her body quivered excitedly and an excited whine crossed her lips as she looked at Wildfire.

Though the title of godparent was not set in stone, Freyja would still hold out on her promises regardless of whether or not the Heda agreed.