Dragoncrest Cliffs run, river, run to the sea

loose timelines since the kids are going with Heda and crew. <3

Restlessness finally spurred Tirgatao to seek out the children, and hopefully offer herself as someone they could lean on in this difficult time. She wasn't family—she was part of the clan, and one of their nomi's most trusted friends, and maybe that might make all the difference. The Shouna didn't claim to know the trio as well as she'd have preferred—she always deigned to give the family space, and remain passive in their interactions. Tirgatao existed to serve all of Drageda and it would have done her little good to focus so intensely on the family (as much as she would have liked to). 

She picked up the familar scent of one of the children as she neared the southern reaches of the redwood forest, unable pin an individual to it, but finding it a promising lead nonetheless. The sturdy woman turned and followed the trail at a languid pace, at least until a tall pair of russet ears perked up from behind a thick stand of undergrowth. Tirgatao paused and a smile touched her lips. It wasn't clear if Blixen had been watching her approach for some time, or the young Kru was still unawares of her presence—last she heard, Wildfire's look-a-like was aiming for Gona, so Tirgatao wouldn't be surprised if the woods had made the young wolf aware long before Tirgatao caught sight of her. 

"@Blixen?" she called softly. "ste bilaik yu?"

*is that you?

ty for starting!

she'd gotten what she wanted: she's joining the scouting trip. it makes her partly nervous to leave drageda's borders - what if, in her absence, another tragedy befalls them? but the thought of sitting at home and waiting while nomi is out there looking for mother makes her stomach twist even more. not to mention eljay's going and she feels protective of her sweet cousin, ever since she figured out his soft scared act wasn't really an act. 

blix had hoped her conversation with artaax would help bring her some closure to these rolling feelings inside her, but it hadn't, not really. she feels, sometimes, small and ugly, unable to stop herself from feeling mean, still so angry in her sorrow about her mother. she hates it but she doesn't know how to go back, if she even can. on top of that, her time with atajar has left her feeling confused about the precise nature of her loyalties - drageda versus nomi-only.

all this to say, she is primed and ready when tirgatao finds her in the woods for some venting. the ginger had spotted the shouna's approach but had not spoken yet, curious what she was up to. the answer is looking for her, apparently. "sha," blix replies, stepping lightly into view with a wag of her tail. "is everything okay?" she asks with a slight frown- she doesn't know tirgatao very well, but knows she's close with nomi, and she hopes tirgatao isn't here to deliver some terrible news.

The pair of ears twitched at the sound and disappeared only a moment until Blixen emerged from the thicket. Her own smile grew at the sight of the young woman, who's legs had seemed to sprout into lean stalks overnight. She was agile and slight of form, but it complimented her features well and was quite becoming on her. She seemed a bit confused as to why she was the object of Tirgatao's searching today, but the pale she-wolf could only exhale softly in a chuff and nod. "Smooth that frown, dear. I try not to be the messenger when it comes to bad news," she admits gently, sensing the young woman's unease in the uncertain set of her mouth. "it's enough to hear it, let alone have to deliver to others." 

Tirgatao steps closer cocks her head a fraction to the left and lowers her nose a few degrees to impress upon Blixen the careful steps she is taking to broach the troubling subject. "Before you ask: Heda didn't send me, but I wanted to, well, check in on you. As a friend and Shouna." She remarked, allowing her sentence to pass into silence rather than fill it with meaningless elaborations. Sometimes it was easier to open up to someone who wanted to listen, no matter their connection (or lackthereof) to the situation. Blixen was an intelligent girl; she didn't need that verbal reassurance from Tirgatao, and could draw her own conclusions.

 tirgatao's voice is reassuring and the girl's shoulders relax by degrees as she sits. it is not often one of drageda's adults comes looking for her, so blix wonders if she has a message from nomi or - ah. she wonders if tirgatao has sought out bobby and artaax as well, or if it's just painfully obvious that she's been off. 

either way.. blix can't find it in herself to be put off by the sentiment - if anything, it's a reminder of how much she loves drageda and everyone in it. she gives the shouna a hesitant smile. "chof... i've been okay." the girl answers, then pauses. "i mean, okay as i can be, i guess?"

the ginger child knows she's not the only one hurting and now that she has an opportunity to open up she feels shy. it could be much worse. it could always be much worse, though. "tirgatao? do you ever feel like.. like you're too big under your skin? or like.. something happened to make you really ugly sometimes even though you're trying not to be?" blix does not think she has always been this way, but more and more lately she feels wound up, unable to stop herself, and she's scared on top of everything else that she'll become so different that when they find their mother, she won't like  her any more.

The pale woman was glad to see the tension coiled in Blixen at her arrival ease a bit. It isn't in her nature to bring ill tidings, though it is something she would shoulder if required. No, instead, Tirgatao's goal is simple and hardly self-serving—she cares for the children, for Heda's brood. They're extensions of Thuringwethil. Perhaps not in blood, but in the teachings that the dark Commander is bestowing on them. For better or worse, they were the future of Drageda and Tirgatao could not help but look fondly on them for it. 

She nodded wisely when Blixen confirmed her suspicions; not all was well. Of course, the entire clan was feeling the strain of their missing leader, and Heda's firey mate. Not to mention Arlo...

But her thoughts are interuptted as she redirects her entire focus onto Blixen as the young woman begins to slowly open up, beginning with a question. It was an easy way to phrase her upsets, Tirgatao imagined, and to probe the Shouna for her own experiences was something the woman would have encouraged anyway. She took a moment to consider the question. Had she felt that way? Yes, to some degree. However, Tirgatao was more interested in how the emotions flickered in and out like a spark across her face. There was a terrible unrest in Blixen's heart, and Tirgatao's own ached for her.

"Yes," she said slowly, "sometimes." She confirmed with a twist of her round ear, and hesitated as she considered sharing her own story. "For me, when I am worried, I start to see things and imagine things that aren't actually real, but based on small facts. It can be difficult to stop that behavior when it starts." Her eyes didn't stay locked on Blixen; they wandered, down to her paws, or out to the forest on occasion, so the younger girl felt less put on the spot. It wasn't an interrogation by any stretch. 

"Was this something to do with your mama?" She asked, "It can't be easy waiting for answers you're not sure will ever come, and I'm sure everyone understands that."

blix does not exactly expect tirgatao's condemnation (though an irrational part of her is anxious for it anyway) but she is still surprised by the woman's admission. she listens intently, watching her own paws -- the shouna's explanation is not exactly like what she feels but it still rings true and it's reassuring, in a way.

tirgatao turns it back to her and she licks her lips anxiously. "y-yeah," she admits, ears flicking back. "i... i feel like i didn't do enough before. to keep us safe.." logically she knows she holds no blame in her mother's disappearance! but - but. "and.. so you know wanlida came back with another girl on the first scouting trip? um, my age i mean, her name is furi," she fumbles over her words but presses on doggedly, "and i met her - and she would've died if eske and them hadn't found her probably but - but all i could think about was that she wasn't mother and it just felt so.. unfair? that she was here instead." guiltily she hangs her head.

"i think i made her feel bad.. and i think i made artaax feel bad too?" though he always bounces back so quickly, maybe it's just her that feels bad. "i don't know.. i don't mean to but it just.. i keep doing it," she says, finally catching a breath. she glances at tirgatao nervously (surely now condemnation will come), waiting to see what the shouna says.