Stone Circle Everything I regret but you're not one.

@Mawk angsty Cebra.

It had been a few days since her talk with Valette had gone down. It had been nagging at the back of her mind constantly, the notion of talking to Mawk. Rowana was home again, she'd smelled the girl around and knew it but she was disturbed by the fact that Mawk hadnt come to tell her about it. Now that she thought of it she had called for his presence at the meeting with Valette and he hadn't showed up. Perhaps he was mad at her...

The thought scared the living shit out of her. The only person she'd ever loved and now maybe she had done something to push him away. She began to panic, her eyes moistening despite her fighting back against the tears. She needed to talk to him, they couldn't avoid each other forever right? As the tears began to drip, she lifted her muzzle and called for him, adding urgency to the call in hopes it would draw him out this time.

<3

The man's time was mostly (as per usual) spent patrolling around the borders, and little interaction had been made by him to another wolf for a little while, excluding the polite nod of his head and a smile as he passed. His thoughts, perhaps, were just as busy as his movements. He was thinking a lot, and he supposed he liked being able to do that - with the comfort that his children were safe, he could fully delve into his thoughts without worrying just as much as he did previously. Of course, there was no doubting that he still worried - perhaps sometimes overly so, but mostly he was alright.

However this time Mawk did not finish his patrol. An urgent call rose for him above the canopy of trees, and he was quick to arrive once he recognised the strained voice as Illecebra. It was true that he had not come when she called before, but that was simply because he was out scouting the land, ears perked as the wind blew in strong gusts that ruffled his fur - travelling was something he could not so easily do now that he had a family and a pack to provide for, though occasionally he did allow himself to wander when he was not working himself at the borders. 

When he spotted his mate, tears softly falling onto her cheek as the sorrow danced in her eyes, a deep frown grew upon the wolfdog's face. Was she okay? "Cebra?" He called out gently, deep voice calm yet hinting at worry. He pressed closer, coming forward and placing soft licks against the side of her face to wipe away the tears that dripped. "What's wrong?" Had he done something wrong? It wasn't something with their children, right? That sent a sudden thought rushing into his mind - had Rowana gone to surprise her mother like he had so told her to do? He had wanted to see the pure joy on his wife's face as their daughter rushed toward her and embraced her tightly, beaming. Hopefully she had not gone walkabout again.

There was this irrational fear that he wouldn't show up despite her call, this feeling of doubt and panic that for some reason had worked it's way inside her heart. She knew all in all that Mawk was not the type to avoid her in purpose...unlike how she had done to him but for some reason she feared that what she had done...all she had caused had maybe pushed her husband away from her. 


Yet within moments he arrived and unexpectedly kissed away her tears which only made her feel worse yet warmed her at the same time. She sobbed once more, pressing her face into the fur along his neck. "N...nothing's wrong..I mean..not really. I just..." She sniffled and took in a deep breath, his scent flooding her nose. "I'm sorry. Everything...this is my fault." She whispered. She stepped back and sat down on her haunches, flattening her one good ear. 

"Cyron got taken because I wasn't attentive. He was upset and Rowana said something not meant to be mean but it hurt Cyron and he ran away. I thought maybe he just wanted to be alone so I let him go...I didn't realize he was missing until hours passed and it was growing dark" she let it all rush out in a heap, her tears still flowing freely. She couldn't look at him, she felt awful. 

"And...I've noticed we've been distant lately. Since Cyron got home we haven't spent time together or even hunted for the pack together. I thought maybe you were mad and I couldn't blame you so I stayed away. And I know Rowana is back only because I smelled her, but I haven't seen her....nobody told me.." she faltered at the end, unable to put anything else into words. She wanted to ask if he hadn't told her because he was angry, but she knew that couldn't be it. He wasn't the bitter, grudge holding, petty type to do such a thing.

She sobbed and the heart-wrenching sound dropped in his stomach like a stone laden with guilt. His brain was rushing with various possibilities and he almost felt a wave of panic that perhaps he had done something wrong, perhaps he had messed up - the uncertainty only cursed him more. The man had never done this before, never had a wife or a family or a real home and so he had no clue what to do. He had never had to deal with anything like this, and his brows furrowed with concern. Along with his lack of knowledge on this particular feat of life, he had never cared for a woman as much as he had Cebra - had never been able to feel sparks igniting within his chest at the very sight of the beautiful wolfess who carried herself with so much grace. The gleam in her bright eyes, the butterflies he felt within his stomach every time he gazed at her, and the tingles that shot down his spine and left a fuzzy warm feeling whenever they touched. He loved her, and to see her in such distress broke his heart. 

To further spread the guilt flicking in sharp bursts against his body, her words made him squint his eyes, pressing closer against her and burying his muzzle into the crook of her neck. Taking a deep breath and pulling back ever so slightly to lock eyes with Illecebra, the words rang true from deep within his chest. "Shhh, hey, it's okay. You're okay. Everything is okay, alright? It isn't your fault. You may be their mother but I am their father and I failed to notice what was happening as well. You cannot be everywhere all at once. What matters now is that they are safe, all of them, and none of them are angry at you. You know why? Because it wasn't your fault." Mawk placed another gentle lick at her cheek.

But her additional words caused his frown to deepen, and he allowed a soft (yet not at all enraged) sigh fall from his lips. So he had done wrong, yes? He had failed again. So caught up in his work, tirelessly patrolling and hunting and moving, so endlessly - he had failed to recognise that he should be beside his mate, spending every moment he could ensuring she was well. His mate, too, confirmed that Rowana hadn't yet been to see her. The male assumed it was her desire to rest that was the reasoning for this. Again, he spoke, just as soft as before. "No, no, I'm sorry. I should have remained with you for longer. That's my fault. Rowana was meant to come and see you - I promise you this. We were going to surprise you because we thought that it would be a magical sight to see when you landed eyes on the fiesty girl, but I assume she was in need of rest, that's all. It must have been tiring travelling so much. She does love you - as do I. I'm sorry, I should have told you the moment she returned." There he paused, tail swaying behind him as he gazed into the vibrant yellow eyes he had fallen so deeply for. "Cebra, I want to spend the rest of the day, the rest of the night, with you. I have done enough work - I want to make it up to you, and I just want to lay by your side and watch the sun fall. Watch the stars twinkle. Can we do that? Just us? We need some time together, I want some time for us. I could think of no better place than beside you - my only wish for tonight is to be by your side. Is that a possibility?" It was true, he wanted nothing else than to be able to lay and watch above, shocked with bright colours as the sun made its descend and the moon took hold of the sky. And the only one he wanted to do this with was Cebra. His wife. His only love, now and forever.

She hadn't known what to expect from him, for she had never been in love before and she had been supposed to hate men entirely before she had met Mawk. She'd never had relationship problems and had no idea what to expect as a reaction from her husband. What she hadn't truly been expecting was the forgiving and soothing words that spilled from his maw. Their eyes met and she knew with all her heart that he wasn't just saying this to soothe her pain, he truly didn't blame her and neither did their babies. What had she done to deserve this? Had forsaking her mother and their packs ways despite originally being part of that belief earn her this loving,caring,sweet,handsome mate? 


As he began to apologize for staying away from her she quickly licked at his muzzle and nose in sweet short bursts of kisses "Don't...I am just glad that you are not mad at me. You work so hard for the pack and i would never ask you to stop, in fact I've found some peace of mind in patrolling and hunting around the borders." She said trying to remove some of the blame from his shoulders. She hadn't meant for this meeting to be about placing blame upon him, but it seemed she had inadvertently. 


When he asked if he could spend the night with her, she felt a spark of mischief light up within her. She frowned,pursing her lips and pawed at the ground her good ear flattening back again as she stared into the dirt. "I don't know Mawk..." She began and paused for a moment. She then pounced upon him and wrapped her forelegs around his neck, balancing on her hind limbs "I was rather hoping you'd spend all of our remaining time with me. Of course you can spend the rest of the night with me Mawk" She said occasionally pausing to nip or lick at his ears or the top of his head in a playfully affectionate way.

As Illecebra trailed her gaze downward, he felt his heart lurch painfully, constricting as it waited for a response. "I don't know, Mawk..." A tongue drew out across his lips, squinting as he hoped other words might release from her maw in acceptance of his request. Perhaps she did not want him, he mused to himself, hoping that was not the case - but it seemed he worried too much. His mate suddenly pounced upon him, embracing him with her forelegs around his neck and the occasional lick upon his head. A grin spread out across his features, and a wave of relief flooded his chest at the words that followed.

"Anything for you," He winked playfully, pushing against her slightly so that they both rolled onto the ground. A small chuckle left his muzzle, and he placed a loving lick at her cheek. "Of course you can spent the rest of the night with me Mawk". His heart smiled at the words, and the wolfdog gazed at her as the light fell perfectly upon her face. "I don't say it enough, do I?" He shook his head at himself. "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes on. I love you, Cebra."

He pushed at her and she rolled onto her side next to him and she laughed. The sound was pure joy and love, the first time she'd truly laughed since her return. She beamed at him, her eyes softening as she drank in the sight of him. He was the best thing that ever happened to her, even over the children because without him they wouldn't exist. She pressed her side against his and nuzzled into him, wanting to be close to him and wishing they'd never have to separate from each other's sides again.

He complimented her and for a second it shook her. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized the honesty in what he was saying. Despite her missing ear and torn off tail, he still thought she was the prettiest over anyone else. "You...You are everything to me Mawk. Even without Easthollow I'd still be home at your side" she whispered softly, eyes glistening again but this time with tears of love. She suddenly remembered the other thing she needed to tell him, but she hesitated thinking it could wait for now. After mulling it over in her head she decided to breach the subject "I asked Valette for...for breeding permission. It was denied but she said we could ask again in the spring. She had good reasoning too...I think it would be best to wait" she spoke softly but moved away from his neck so she could see his reaction. She prayed it wouldn't ruin the moment.

The laugh rang in his ears, an endless, tuneful song that made his heart swell and an idiotic grin to stretch out across his maw. It was the first he had heard from her since her return to Easthollow, and the very idea of this made his eyes close out of joy, relief - he loved her laugh. Loved her smile. Loved her fiery personality, but also the sweet side of her. The motherly side, too. He had fallen hard for this woman here, and he found himself falling even harder with every moment they spent side-by-side.

She seemed momentarily stunned by his words, and he pressed his nose deeper into her fur. Tears began to well up and sat ready to fall in his eyes, though they were not ones of sadness - ones of pure joy, relief, hope, for he was eternally grateful to have come across Illecebra that one day. "And you... you are everything to me. Never forget that, angel." He leaned back to place a loving kiss at her cheek like he had done so many times before, eyes sparkling.

The topic shifted to breeding permission, and he hummed softly. They had been denied permission for now... but that was okay. They still had time. Mawk could wait a while longer if it meant he could have another litter of beautiful children with his love. "I will wait however long is needed," He murmered, smiling softly.

There was no disappointment or sadness in his response and she marvelled at him. He was amazing in every way to her and he never failed to surprise her. The way she'd been raised, to see men as nothing but imbeciles beneath her to be used to create more women and breed more men to be used as slaves, the way she'd been taught that they were dirty,nasty,mean things that had to be broken in order for the women to survive, he'd changed that in one simple meeting and a bounce of that quirky tail of his. He was what she knew a man should be like, he was what shaped her into this woman. Everything she owed to him yet he looked at her as if she held all the happiness in life between her paws. He looked at her as if she were life itself and if she left he'd surely die. It scared her....and it made her legs weak by the strength in which she returned those feelings.

"You....how do you put me and our children above Everything else? Surely you must be..tired and sad and full of grief as I am yet you work hard and still find it to apologise to me for doing so when I'm oversensitive" she asked him in a voice that held her wonder and love. Her gaze was simmering with it too, warm and more honey golden now than sharp and fierce like a hawk's. She stepped forward again and pressed herself to him,wrapping her neck around his and embracing him. "We'll have more babies someday. Somehow....before we grow old, we'll have more children. This time I hope they're mini Mawk's, because if they're just like you they'll make the world an incredible place" she breathed these words against his fur, her eyes closing as she just found peace in him and his closeness.

Yet again, his mate was left stunned, and the man nibbled affectionately at her ear that was not torn. Truthfully, he had never experienced such a strong wave of emotions every time he saw Illecebra, the very thought had his heart rate speeding to a rapid thrum against his chest. She, as fierce and protective as a lion, yet tender and delicate like a beautifully untouched flower, had stolen his heart; he had no intentions of trying to capture it back.

Her inquiry, so pure and in a voice filled with love and admiration, had him smile warmly. There was no hesitation to his words, confident in all they stood for. "Because if I was to allow myself to be swallowed by grief, then I could not be there for you and the kids. If I was to give in, to stop fighting, where would we be?" Surely if they had not worked so hard to get here, they would be nowhere. To stop trying would have the same effect, would it not? "Giving up is not an option when you have a family to love and care for - My duties do not only pertain to Easthollow, but to you and our children as well. No good would come from giving up, so I do my best to stay strong and keep going. Times will improve, we only have to continue and do our best." His amber eyes glittered with adoration as he gazed at his wife. Yes, he would do anything in the universe to ensure she was okay, and he would travel to the ends of the earth to bring her the most wonderous gift if it was what she wished for.

Illecebra mentioned more children, and his smile only continued to widen. They would work hard to do what they could for their current litter, and when the time came they would ensure the new children had the greatest parents they could possibly have. Of course, Mawk and Cebra had made some mistakes, but they were learning as all new parents did. "And I hope some are mini Cebra's, because if they're just like you then we'll have a fiesty bunch ready to take on the world and make us proud." He nuzzled into her, warmth flooding his heart at these words.

When he spoke about not giving up her eyes darkened and she closed them against the wave of guilt that arose again. While he had stayed strong and never stopped to search for their children, she had given up and almost not come home at all. She hadn't been strong in the slightest, instead she'd allowed herself to give in to the anger and grief. "I hope to be as strong as you are from now on. No matter what the future brings.... we'll make it through together." she murmured, her tone making it so she was promising it. 

His smile captured her attention and she found herself returning it once more, dark eyes beginning to sparkle again. He was the light that had shined down upon her darkened life and brought warmth and beauty with him. Everything would be okay.....they'd make it through anything life could throw at them. "One mini Mawk and one Mini me. That would be perfection" she murmured as she nibbled at his neck fur sweetly. She couldn't help herself, she pressed her sides against his and wound herself around him in a most feline manner. She rubbed her muzzle against his spine and as she came back around to face him she placed a playful kiss upon his nose.

A darkened look came upon his love's features, as though she regretted her past actions - but Mawk, he did not fault her for anything she had done. Perhaps she thought she was weak, that she had given up, but that was hardly true! For she came back, did she not? She pulled through, and surely this was sign enough that she was strong, that her tough shell had not yet been entirely broken. She was a fiesty woman who would do anything for her children, of this the man was certain. "I promise you we'll make it through, I know we will. You are far stronger than you believe, angel - we've made it this far, there's no going back."

Ah, a smile began to grace her beautiful features, and his gaze focused on this goddess before him with a quirk of his lips to signal his joy. Mawk nuzzled into her, and the sight was curious - a man with the golden pelt like the sun, dancing with the woman of black, the night sky, the moon and the beauty within. "That," He whispered, closing his eyes for but a heartbeat, "Sounds like a dream come true."

His faith in her was unshakable and perhaps one of the few things keeping her going every day. As he nuzzled against her she laughed again and licked at his black tipped ears before bowing down and giving a wiggle of her rear into the air, her nub of a tail dancing frantically around her bottom in quite an amusing way. "C'mon Mr. Saefyn, can you let your tough mercenary guard down for a bit and engage in some play with your wife?" she enticed, her voice dangerously close to what was a seductive purr though she had no intentions of intimacy that night.

At those words she gave another wiggle of her rear and darted forward, nipping at his paws before springing backwards and giving a small growl, golden eyes glimmering with mischief.

The man chuckled at the rapid dance of her stub, finding it terribly amusing how they had both ended up with funny tails. Her enticing words caused his grin to grow upon his maw, flame-born gaze sparkling at the prospect of simply having fun and enjoying the temporary peace while it lasted with the woman he loved. A playful rumble of a growl reverberated from his chest, ducking into a playbow of his own.

She darted at his paws and then leaped back - Mawk circled a little, tail twitching with glee atop his back, before making his own 'ferocious' attack toward her. He jumped forward and attempted to nip somewhere around her neck before rushing away to initiate a chase. Can't catch me, Mrs. Saefyn.

Her eyes twinkled at the sound of his laughter, lips twitching up into a bright smile before she once again tried to look playfully fierce. As he lunged at her she reared her head back and aimed licks at the fur around his face before he ran away. Without hesitation she was after him, springing forward and laughing softly. She focused on the curl of his tail and lengthened her stride, fully intending on catching the prey that was her husband.


Finally she grew near and leaped at his backside, intending to tackle him. She wasn't concerned about hurting him, she knew he could handle it. Her heart was light and her spirit soared with this moment of uninhibited happiness. Tonight was theirs to use as they saw fit, tonight could be spent together without pain or regret or guilt.