Swiftcurrent Creek And the record won't stop skipping

@Soltero

He found himself at the borders a lot, patrolling to ease his worry as usual. Today was no different, and Kavik padded quietly along the edge of his new territory, eyes fixed on the snow in front of him as his mind wandered to what troubled him most these days: Myrren. She was really all he thought about along with feeling like his guilt over Liri was going to smash him into a million black pieces. His problems moved through his mind on a constant loop, never letting him forget who he had wronged in this mistake. He deserved it--he deserved more, really; there was no doubt about that. 

A heavy sigh moved from his chest, breaking the torturous silence as he shook out his thick, inky coat, attempting to switch off the thought-loop but failing mostly. Nothing pushed the thoughts away--anything that helped really only temporarily muted his self-loathing; it was already more than he deserved anyway. He stopped to mark a tree then, thinking he could at least make himself useful while he was here instead of only wallowing in his self-hatred.

The smoky beta watched with a solemn expression as was usual, vivid green searching out across the fringes of the creek domain for the shadow who now walked alongside the regal. Soltero had been intending to converse with him, but his own uncomfortability with words kept him apart, casting aside the need for further notice; with time, he began to notice more and more that this was a problem, and now did he attempt to fully solve it.

Ivory paws led him closer, a slither of frosted air slipping from his lips as he came silently beside the ebonian. He let the quietude sit there for a few moments, basking in the lack of words, but sought to break it when it became unbalanced, awkward. "Kavik," came the low rumble, attempting to gauge a formal but somewhat friendly tone from amongst the timorous nature of his speech. "...Do you mind if I walk with you?"

The sound pulled him from his thoughts as the beta appeared at his side. He was content to let the silence linger between them for as long as the other man wanted, unsure what had brought him here today. Kavik was uncertain how Soltero felt about his coming in and taking an alpha position, but he imagined he and most of the creek wolves were probably not very happy about it. Kavik didn't blame them nor was he offended; he felt they had every right to their feelings and only hoped for the opportunity to earn their respect, even if he didn't feel he particularly deserved it right now. He turned when he heard his name, pulled from his inner thoughts once more. At the smokey man's request, Kavik dipped his head and answered, Of course. He was just glad to not see anger in the other man's eyes or hear it in his tone; it would be deserved, but nonetheless, he was glad for its absence.

The Valento had no desire to dislike Kavik, and he prayed silently that with this conversation would come the acceptance of each other - with time, perhaps they could even grow to be friends, united with the want to protect the creek wolves. Time was, after all, the decider of their fate; many paths could be forged with the passing of moons, the changing of the seasons. He only hoped this one would be a positive one.

The snow had ceased momentarily, and Soltero's gaze tipped up toward the sky in thought - he'd initiated the meeting, so perhaps he ought to lead it. "...I hope you and the others are settling here well," he began, glancing then toward the caliginous alpha. "I... I know... it's... a bit of a tense season to join a new place." Inwardly cringing at himself and his own words, as well as the entire situation, the beta returned his eyes to the plush layer of snow.

He wasn't sure how to answer the beta. Had he been settling in well? He had sure found the time to mess up his entire life, but he didn't think the other man really wanted or needed to hear his problems right now; he needed to see that Kavik would be a good alpha to the pack, and dumping his shit on the silver male was probably not the best way to do that. He shrugged his inky shoulders. About as well as can be expected I suppose, he answered. It was a little vague, but he didn't really have a much better answer for him. 

His next words forced a heavy sigh from the alpha. Ah, yes, things have been a little tense, he answered. I know some of that is my fault. It must be hard to have a stranger come in and take a position as alpha, he quickly added, partly to change the subject but mostly to let the other leader know that he didn't take any of this lightly; he would do right by the creek wolves.

Soltero gave a brief incline of his chin, a small nod in acknowledgement of the alpha's words - he didn't expect the ebonian to be adjusting faster than the rest of them; change could be a tricky thing. "I'm sure it'll feel more like home soon." He offered, perhaps an attempt at comforting, perhaps simply a mindful statement - he knew what it felt like, to be unwelcomed and unwanted, but with time he thought that he himself might grow used to Kavik's leadership. Time, time, it was always reliant on time.

"Everyone will come around to the idea soon, I bet," he didn't know, actually, but it felt right to simply say as such; it was wishful thinking, but the smoky beta was not about to start feeding more negativity into the shadowed man.

Kavik nodded, appreciating the other man's kind words at time when he really had no reason to offer them. He had no reason to trust Kavik, yet here he was attempting to make him feel welcome. You're very kind. Thank you, he offered first, dipping his head towards the beta. I only ask for a chance, nothing more. I don't demand everyone's loyalty just because I am an alpha, he added. His gaze searched the trees ahead as he spoke, but he glanced to the grey beta at his side then. I had a good partnership with with Ruenna when she was beta of the plateau. I hope we can one day have something similar. He looked to the trees again, letting his words sink in. He wasn't here to to rule but to help Constantine and Soltero bring the creek wolves to their full potential.

Though at first he'd had doubts about the quick decision, Soltero knew that the ebonian at least deserved a a chance. He seemed willing enough to provide for and aid the pack, and despite being most of all a stranger to the Beta, he hoped a prolonged friendship might be able to spawn from their communications - what use was a leadership team who did not work as one, combining their ideas to create a secure and friendly claim? 

"I hope that too," came the gruff but cooperative reply, emerald eyes seeking out ahead of them. Mention of Ruenna had his stomach fizzle for a moment, and he swallowed away whatever lingered there. "Ruenna..." her name felt sweet on his tongue. "I take it she was a good beta, then...?" A smile graced the corners of his mouth, but he shifted the topic quickly. In the depths of his mind, an image was summoned forth - he wondered briefly what the old claim of theirs had been like, and then after a moment's hesitation decided to voice his query aloud. "What was the plateau like?"

He was relieved to hear that Soltero sought an alliance between them as well. Kavik knew it would be much harder to earn the trust of the rest of the pack if one of their original leaders was against him. He nodded his head when the other man asked about Ruenna. She was a great beta. She was loyal and dedicated, and we were lucky to have her help, he answered, a small smile morphing his mouth briefly. Even if she wasn't helping him lead here, he was grateful to still have her in the pack with them as they transitioned, even if he was worried she might be angry with him when she found out about Myrren. 

At his next question, Kavik felt a painful twinge of sadness. It was amazing at first, he started, despair filling his expression at the memory of the times when the plateau wolves flourished. He couldn't think of a time he had been happier. But bad things started happening, he continued. First it was the bear attack, and then my mate got sick and had to quarantine herself away from everyone. The mention of his mate made him pause for a few seconds as a suffocating wave of guilt spread through him. And then the coyotes starting causing problems until they overran the plateau and forced us out, he finished, unable to keep the contempt from his voice completely, some of which was aimed at himself. He hadn't meant to detail their demise but right now with the grief still fresh in his mind, it was all he could really think about when he thought of his former home. The good memories were just too painful to dwell on for now.

It was difficult to resist the temptation of another smile, but he held back and nodded graciously to the ebony alpha - that sounded like Ruenna, and he had no reason to believe that any lies were being passed to him. Quietly, he tucked away the memory of her eyes dancing in the moonlight, the soft tickle of her breath on his face, and re-aligned his focus onto the man's following story.

"I'm sorry to hear that," the beta murmered after he had finished. It always started out happier, but the world was a rocky landscape and not all paths would be smooth, a traveller like himself would know, even if much of his knowledge was scattered. "Life likes... likes to throw stones sometimes." His mother's death was the one that had lost him - he'd never known his father, but perhaps he was still alive somewhere. Soltero wasn't sure he cared. "You're still kicking though - that must count for something."

Kavik nodded his head in response to Soletero's words, but he wasn't sure him being alive when others were dead or suffering due to him was something he could take comfort in. Still, he appreciated the sentiment anyway. I suppose, he replied. I can at least can try and learn from past mistakes, and I guess sometimes that's all you can do. He shrugged a little, a thoughtful expression flickering across his face briefly before falling away to reveal his stoic mask once again. 


Searching for a subject change and wishing to return the concern, Kavik asked: What was it like here before we came? It was a question he had been asking any preexisting creek member he came across, but he was even more interested to hear the beta's opinion; he would know best the state of things. Whether or not he was willing to share was different, but Kavik wouldn't begrudge him his secrets if he wished to keep some things from him before he was sure the new alpha could be trusted.