Stone Circle M&M's after sour patch gummies does not taste good

@Mawk If this site wouldn't work for him, let me know and I can change it!

Steph sat at the base of Keoni's grave. She had been chatting to her sister about various, happier things. Before she had been promoted to Beta, her one-sided conversations had been more negative and depression. But, she had been forced to get out of her shell and look at the world around her instead of focusing so much on herself. It had been so changing, and she liked updating Keoni on it. 

She sat quietly now, enjoying the view of the prairie from this vantage point. It wasn't often that she was in one spot for very long, but she felt a calmness here that she wanted to hold on to for just a few more minutes.

it's absolutely fine <3

Steph was not the only one to wander near a grave - the pale scout frequently placed himself at the base of his late love's resting place, and he took solace in her peace. It was a deep guilt that tugged at his heart, though. A certainty had nestled itself into his chest that surely there was something he could have done; not only for Illecebra, but for his children and his sisters, too. If there was a way for him to turn back time, he had no doubts that he would take it, if only to be given another chance at rescuing the broken pieces of his scattered family.

Alarian had been given a warm space in Mawk's mind, though, and his heart, too - he maintained a mountain of respect and gratitude to the charcoal wolf in his attempts at distracting the saefyn from his plauging grief, and it would not be forgotten. 

There was a silence here, as he paced across the domain that Easthollow claimed; sometimes it remained tranquil, a slice of heaven amongst the mess of his emotions, but other times the lack of noise echoed in his head, a cacophony of nothing to beat against his skull. He dispised those times. Presently, it was something between them both - a numb pain wracked his body, a sickening pool of bitterness on his tongue.

Mawk had missed Steph on his line of vision, at first, but fiery eyes drew back and noted her smaller figure perched alone in observation of the prairie beneath. His first thought had been to allow her the peace and move on (else he destroy something else), but then he had been reminded of Alarian's efforts and his paws shifted closer, a soft chuff releasing from his muzzle to announce his presence.

She hadn't seen Mawk approach, but did hear his chuff, and it brought her out of her thoughts. She turned her head and her tail wagged as soon as her gaze settled on him. Hey, Mawk, she greeted happily. Realizing she might be overwhelming if he wasn't feeling the same, she toned it down a bit. 

What are you up to? she asked him. She figured he probably got a lot of questions asking how he was, and she didn't want to repeat that, for fear of upsetting him. She hoped he didn't think he was interrupting her, as that wasn't the case.

Happiness seemed another world away, in his current conflict of emotion, but he did not allow it to spread across his features in clear display of his struggle. The man moved closer and placed himself beside the younger wolfess, eyes of vermillion peering her way before washing over the horizon. "Hey, Steph." A small smile flicked the corners of his mouth upward, an attempt at reciprocating her gleeful tone - primarily, it was guilt that thundered against his skull, battering his thoughts with gloom, but he would not allow the keeper's mood to drop due to his own misery.

"Nothing much..." He responded, still watching the distant clouds and the prairie that lay below - he thought then of his mate's last words, and another wrack of shameful guilt clambered up his throat. "It's... it's been odd, without Cebra here." The wolfdog offered honestly, amber gaze inching back toward the inky girl's face. He hoped bringing up a heavy subject would not put her off from conversing with him - the longer he walked alone, the increasing loneliness he felt.

He sat down next to her, and she was rewarded with a slight smile from him. A low gust of wind blew by, rolling through Steph's fur, and causing her to shiver. She shook herself slightly, trying to get her fur to go back to its resting place and to shield her from more of the chilly wind.

She tried not to frown when he spoke of Cebra, but it was hard. Steph hadn't been especially close to her, but she was still family, and she and Mawk had been mates. Her expression took on an understanding look. I've never felt a loss like yours, she admitted. But, I imagine it is terribly difficult to lose someone you gave your heart to, she said softly. She had no knowledge of what had transpired between the mates, or that Mawk was caring around the heavy burden of guilt. Steph wasn't usually very touchy-feely, except with her mother and siblings, but now she reached her maw out to touch Mawk's. Should he move away from the touch, Steph would retreat as well. It was meant as an attempt to comfort him.

The winter's breeze was frigid, icy - he felt it shiver through each hair on his back, whistle across his chest and dissolve into the surroundings; Steph must have felt it too, as he witnessed the slight tremble of her shadowed pelt. Mawk's amber gaze traced the lingering clouds above, the grey smudges in the distance that signalled the weather to come.

The touch was not entirely anticipated, but it was welcome - the loneliness that wracked through his heart and clung to his wavering mind was crippling; he'd not felt any contact with another since Illecebra's passing, and the warmth was a stark contrast against the polar twinges of ice that whispered along on each gust of air. He returned the gesture, a weary sigh tipping from his lips. "Yes... I still have her in memory, at least. I am glad she has found peace at last."

He seemed accepting of her touch, and her tail swayed across the ground behind her briefly. She nodded to his words. I supposed it is a comfort, knowing they can't be in anymore pain, she commented. She glanced towards Keoni's resting place. I still talk to Keoni, she admitted before turning her gaze back to Mawk. I don't know if she can really hear me, but it makes me feel better. She shrugged and continued on, I feel like if I keep talking, if I keep her up to date on the happenings around here, then she isn't really gone. Maybe Steph was holding on, but she didn't see the harm in it. Maybe it could bring you comfort, too, she added softly. Maybe the conversations were more for the living than for the deceased, but was that so bad?

Indeed - often it was the only thought that settled his wavering mind, his shuddering thoughts. One of the few things in life Illecebra had ever hoped for was peace, to live without pain and a strong family to hold close; the latter was something they had both worked hard for, but failed to succeed. At least they'd had each other to rely on, he thought to himself, but in her absence his body felt cold. "Yes. She's at rest now."

He'd wondered what that would be like.

It felt like a personal secret, to hear of Steph's coping mechanism; talking to the passed Keoni was how she dealt with the loss, and he did not intend to share such a thing with anyone else. "Sometimes I feel like I can still hear her." He whispered - a secret for a secret, perhaps. "I'm not insane. At least I don't think so, but it's her memory, her last words won't leave my head." Then the wolfdog gave a brief nod, gaze filtering toward the dark wolfess. "Thank you, I will try it. If it helps you then there's a chance it could help me."

Steph didn't feel it was a secret that she still spoke with her sister, though it also wasn't something she usually brought up in conversation. Her ears swiveled to him as he admitted he still heard Cebra's voice. She gave him a comforting smile. No, I don't think you're crazy, she said honestly. Maybe if the voice told him to do bad things and he listened, then Steph might think him nuts. But, as it stood, he was just a wolf who missed his mate and longed to hear her speak again. 

She was glad opening up to him gave him a bit of hope for himself, and she did hope it would help him. I'm here if you ever need to hear a voice outside of your head, she said, daring to joke lightly. She hoped she didn't offend him with it.