Phoenix Maplewood How do I believe in 101 when we stumbled the 99?

It didn't take much more than her name being spoken and the concerned expression for Lainie to cave into the allure of the safety of her father's embrace. As he stepped forward so did she intending to nuzzle under his chin and sit against his chest like she did as a kid though now it would be a little more awkward and she'd probably have to sit to the side of him. "I miss everyone" she admitted to him her voice little more than a shaking exhale of breath as she fell silent hearing his pull of breath to speak and pulling away to listen expression shifting from somber to shining with hope even despite Papa's sad tone. 

Zephyr was alive still.... that's what mattered...

Yet the yearning for her brother was tainted by rain and screaming and fangs. Feeling a sick sensation in her stomach she ignored the way she felt panicked, the yearning for a sibling turning into terror that Zephyr wouldn't want to be her family anymore, that he hated her. And he scared her. There was that too. She knew what he was capable of. The news that he was in love and with someone forming a pack was almost overwhelming and she stared at her father slack jawed before dropping her gaze to the ground "I'm just glad he's happy. That's what counts right?" she asked lifting her gaze to search his, seeking confirmation that it was really a good thing for Zephyr. She wanted to be happy for everyone, not worried that they were suffering.  "What about you? Is this your new home?" Would she be able to find him here again? She couldn't say it, that she didn't want to join the pack despite her current state. That she didn't want to stay somewhere just because she needed help, bound by weakness not loyalty.