Broken Boulder "What would you give?"

maybe someone she hasn't met? anybody, somebody

Sleep was hiding from her.

Somewhere in the god-forsaken corners of her mind, Liri's peace played a game of hide and seek; darting out of reach everytime just as she got close. 

The northron could not have placed what exactly kept her awake. There were so many things to dwell on in the middle of the night, how could she pick just one?

Finally, she gave it up as a bad job and lurched to her feet in the pitch of her den. Limping heavily, her bad leg dragging as it refused to cooperate. She grimaced at the sound, willing the ruined thing to work. 

Liri blinked in surprise as she reached the underside of the the two half boulders - cradling each other like lovers in the midst of an embrace.

She expected the world to be lit with a hazy, dream-like glow. Instead of the landscape being transformed into a silver, foreign place as it usually looked in moonlight, it was nearly as dark above ground than below.

Pausing beneath the apex of the boulders, Liri felt wet wind blow in from the south. Rain. 

Liri grinned with glee - though nobody could see it in the dark. The rain brought with it the coolest temperatures she'd felt since leaving the north again. 

Happy to settle down just beside the entrance to the underground dens, Liri stretched out with her head on her paws.

With a deep breath, she tried to absorb the smell of the rain and summertime.

Glad to see you're so active! Welcome back! ♡♡♡ Hope you don't mind short mobile posts while I'm on vacay.

_________

Somewhere in between the drama, a quiet woman had settled in their midst.  She hadn't had time to properly introduce herself to everyone, so after taking a while to mentally prepare herself she sought out the one who had not already been introduced to her.

A sweet summer rain fell around the exceptionally small wolf as she worked towards the heart of the territory, where she found Liri.

"Mind if I join you?"

thank you so much! That's fine, thanks for the reply :)

Liri felt when she had arrived, she had done so in the midst of something. 

The wolves of the Sanctuary didn't seem exactly happy with Alarian, though Liri wasn't privy to the details. She didn't need to be, it wasn't her place to know.

From what she could gather, Alarian seemed, well, sad. Liri could have helped him, she knew enough about loss and grief yet, again, it didn't seem her place. 

The others seemed discontented about some decisions he'd made. Namely, promoting two newcomers who had arrived nearly the day she had. From what she had gathered, they'd been promoted to rather high ranks that surpassed some of the other, longer standing members.

This didn't necessarily bother Liri. She'd had her fair share of power; at this point in her life she was fine to let it rest on someone else's shoulders. Yet, the once-Alpha didn't think it a wise decision. 

Even after she'd taken the mantle over for Aaron - and essentially Amara, given how useless she'd turned out to be, Minna was the one she had made her Beta. Minna, her most loyal friend, over her own brother. 

Liri didn't think it wise but then, Rosings had fallen apart from beneath her. She was in no place to judge Alarian's decision.

Her train of thought was run off its tracks when another approached from the surrounding darkness. The pallid healer's woodland optics had acclimated to the shadows and she could make out the silhouettes of the forest and the rocks in the clearing. 

The other reached her, a small female with what appeared to be an agouti coat from what Liri could make out. 

Liri's tail beat a welcoming beat on the stone beneath the shelter of the Boulder. "Not at all," Liri replied kindly, shifting to make room for her.

"I'm Liri. It's nice to meet you." Her voice is still a soft rasp. Even now, surrounded by others, the northron doesn't use her voice very often.

Well, at least the stranger was nice, although all the girls that found their way to the Sanctuary seemed to be.  Small blessings.  She moved in next to the stranger and listened to the rainfall tap against the boulders.  Lanawyn, the Governor's sister.  Not that it mattered, she thought bitterly.

You haven't been in long, have you?  What do you think so far?

The woman, Lanawyn, settles beside her and Liri gives a happy hmm. She finds that she enjoys the company of others given that she had only herself for company for well over a year. 

The Tiny Voice could never be considered good company.

"Your brother is...shy," it is not criticism that falls from her lips, mere observation instead. Even a sort of empathy, a kinship from the bashful woman. "Kind, though," she adds.

"I'm afraid not. I got here perhaps the day before the others?" She knows not their names, only they are new too.

"It's quiet. Different than anywhere I've been but simple. I quite like it," she murmurs with a small smile. 

It's the truth. She does. There's something healing, residing here in this tiny corner of Teekon. Hunting, gathering her herbs, it's easy to forget what she's lost up here.

Liri's assumptions were, well, all correct.  She nodded along with each of them and gave the woman a good natured laugh.  Perhaps they would get along well, and Lanawyn would have a new friend — something she desperately needed.  It is quiet, and rather unique.  But I like it, too.  I'm glad you found your way to us.

She ducked her head.  Alarian and I have been through a lot lately.  You'll have to forgive us.  But Delight is here now to take some of the load off, and that should um.. help, I think.

Liri nods - she suspected as much. She, who has lost everything, understands loss. She knows they are grieving for someone - someone much loved if the intensity surrounding Alarian, if the weight pulling on his shoulders is  any indication. 

The pallid girl's heart pounds in her throat. No one has asked questions, for which Liri is internally grateful. She knows they see her, recognize the same marks left on the prey they take down. They know, most of them must. And yet, Liri has told no one her story. 

In the end, her gaze just drops. She studies the gravel between her paws, her stories and empathy still locked in her lips.

"If you - any of you," Liri starts, stuttering with nerves. "If any of you need someone to talk to, I understand a lot more than most people think." 

She's unable to meet Lanawyn's eyes - afraid the honey-coated woman will read the past in her own. Instead, she gazes into the darkness as if it holds all the answers to her questions.

Hey, it's okay.  Her nose dropped, her head flattened to the ground, nestled between her paws.  I'm a counselor, too, but probably not as good as you are.  She didn't want to make any new friends, but she kind of already liked Liri.  My mom died.  We -- we just found out.  Her gaze drifted to the rain outside.  I don't know what you've been through, but... everything kind of sucks right now.

Liri shakes her head a fraction, confused. "I'm not a counselor. At one point maybe, but a different road calls me now. I just...I get things," she's unable to explain what she means, it sounds lame but she does get things. 

"I'm sorry," she says it not with pity but understanding. "It's not easy," she adds. She lost her own mother so long ago, she hardly remembers the stories about her. The fae has had her whole life to work through it but her mother is not what she thinks of. 

It's hard to lose your parents. But so incredibly gut-wrenching is the grief of losing a child, it had forced her to leave Teekon in search of her sanity. 

​​"Things are getting better," she thinks back on the period of time following Aaron's departure. It's a blur now: drifting between packs, the fights, travelling, the rape, being captured, meeting Horosk, meeting Kelina, the initial loss of her daughter and then so soon after, her son as well. 

They're getting better but she still sounds haunted when she says it. 

"But things, things did suck for quite a while," her eyes are towards the forest again, troubled. "I'm pretty good at listening if you need some ears," she offers, turning back to Lanawyn. Sometimes it's easiest to speak to a stranger, especially one who has been through similar circumstances, than to a friend or loved one.

Oh.  She feels kind of dumb, but doesn't say anything else about it.

No, it's not easy.  I like, I was my mother.  My dad always brought me up to be.. her.  Like, the next Celia.  Everything she went through, I went through.. and I don't even know how she died.  Although she had some guesses, each more gruesome than the next.

I'm sorry.  You can talk to me, too.  I get it.  I know things.  I wasn't cut out to be a counselor, but it's what I am now.. and it's all because what I've been through.  You can talk to me about everything that sucks, too.

Liri listens silently, nodding silently. It's odd. Jono had raised his children to completely forget the wife he lost. Liri knows only what the others whispered about her mother behind their backs. 

But to lose a mother who obviously loved you, who was most definitely a part of your very personality, she can't imagine. 

"I didn't know your mother but I think she must have been pretty great if you're modeled in her image," the ivory girl smiles softly, "besides, you're doing pretty great at being Lanawyn."

"And thanks, I'll do that sometime," Liri tells her truthfully. Maybe if she starts opening up to people, she won't have so many stories to hide. 

Maybe if she'd opened up to Pearl and Sebastian and Burke, Pip would be with her. She can't change that; she can't bring him back. Liri couldn't bring any of them back. 

But maybe, if Liri can get better she'll stop losing everyone.