Northstar Vale leave the lights on

Getting pretty close to the four week mark :)

There were times when Queenie was able to forget that she was pregnant. Most mothers complained of aches and pains and other unfortunate ailments, but she'd been lucky enough to bypass all of that. No one aside from Jomyo and @Delight knew, so there weren't any constant stares and whispers to remind her. The only time that her pregnancy ever even crossed her mind was when she patrolled the borders; it was hard for a prideful wolf like Queenie to learn to carry herself with caution.

It had been a difficult run, the most recent patrol. Every sound and shadow and had pushed Queenie a little closer to the edge. If this pregnancy was going to continue down the easy street it had started on, she knew that she would have to take a break and get some of the weight off of her shoulders, but how? Their members were dropping off like flies and the ones that were left didn't know how to fight any better than a squirrel would have known to tie shoes.

<3<3<3

delight's a private sort -- he's more than happy to keep queenie's pregnancy on the downlow. not that there's many left around to celebrate it, but he can't handle the prying eyes, the well-meaning congratulations and assumptions about him, his relationships, his role. 

the scope of his world has narrowed once again, it seems. but it's not mato and seabreeze, it's queenie and alarian -- sebastian's moved on by now, a final brush with the rochester line. delight's surprised to find he doesn't feel as deeply as he did about it before. alarian will be healed enough to go, soon -- to return to his pack. they need him. a little selfishly, the morwinyon doesn't want him to go. which, well. gives him an idea, actually.

when he finds queenie he greets her with a soft tail wag. he's still on eggshells around her, unsure how to, er, handle this development in their relationship. plus, like, hormones. intense. he wants to ask how she's holding up but hesitates, unsure if she'd like being coddled even in this state. maybe especially in this state. instead he says, "it's getting pretty quiet around here."

It wasn't long before Delight appeared. While Queenie was happy to see him, she knew better than to let it show. As he approached, she took a counter step back, tail twitching once before settling back down. Almost too quiet, she joked with a dopey smile, despite her clearly apprehensive body language. A moment of silence was allowed to pass before she continued, Your members are dropping like flies, Morwinyon. What's the plan? It was a comment meant to be taken lightly, despite the weight that it carried.

I mean, unless you're counting me. I'm like, at least three members right now. Maybe four, but that's a little out of hand.

strangely he appreciates queenie's distance. he doesn't think he could handle a heart to heart right now: much easier to focus on the practical. even if he doesn't want to that either. the way she says morwinyon makes him squirm.

"yeah," delight starts, stops, laughs hollowly. he can't quite joke back with her right now. "it's, uh. honestly? i have no idea." the easiest thing to do would be to blame the weird kids for disrupting things, blame the series of deaths, blame mato for abandoning him in the first place. blame the king elk for dying, for becoming a looming symbol of their own demise. but delight knows the real reason is him. his inadequacies. his failures. "i never... wanted to be morwinyon," he says, slowly, admitting it with ears laid back. "i always thought mato would, y'know. come back around. come back to his rightful place. not that i haven't tried, obviously, but i think i've always just been doing it for his sake. i don't know -- is it wrong to try and keep a pack running for the sake of a ghost?" 

tindómë is filled with ghosts, now. just that some of them aren't dead. and speaking of the not dead, not-yet-alive: the vale the way it is now -- not ideal for child rearing. hell, he can't do that to queenie. he thinks about alarian, ready and raring to get back to his pack, and fixes queenie with a cautious expression. a more selfless person would ask what she wants to do, but delight doesn't think he could stand it if her answer is "stay here and try to make it work." he's sick of trying to make it work. instead he says, voice quiet, "maybe we should take alarian back to his pack. and stay there."

It was clear that even if Queenie objected, her opinion wouldn't have mattered. That's not to say that she wanted to, either; it was clear that Delight was hurting, and although their relationship had been rocky, she cared about him. If moving would keep him from going through whatever pain he'd been afflicted by this time, then Queenie was all for it. Okay, she sighed softly, looking away from Delight for a moment, If you want. I won't stop you.

The only issue that she could think of was the passengers they would be bringing along with them. Would Alarian be okay with bringing in a stranger's children with no benefit of his own? If moving meant that they would be in danger, then Queenie would just have to stay. You'll have to talk to him about them, y'know.

she agrees, and he can't stop the sigh of relief that escapes him. for a moment the future feels slightly brighter -- or at least more secure. until she brings up their shared little hitchhikers. "i know," he says sheepishly, glancing away and back. he doesn't want to say what he's been selfishly thinking: that somehow telling alarian he has kids on the way feels like closing the door on an opportunity he's not even sure he wants to pursue. but alarian is .. nice, and good looking, and he hasn't been thinking about mato as much lately -- he doesn't want the way his friend looks at him to change. (as if begging for a spot in his pack isn't going to change things anyway).

delight reaches out suddenly, going to cautiously nudge queenie's nose with his own. more firmly he says, "you're right. i will." and, "i think it'll be better. for them, too." it's not like he doesn't want to be a good parent -- anxiously he watches her, hoping she knows that. hoping she doesn't hate him for all of this.