Sleeping Dragon some nights you ache to believe in God

For a few more days, Thuringwethil remained near the coast. She left her mark in the sand before the dragon of a barrier that blocked her way. She found her way around and discovered the area was mostly quiet. An entrance down the cliffs, steep in some areas and easier the further she made her decline and eventually to the coast the cliffs protects. Thuringwethil let her mind wander in a clarity she had not felt in a long time and before she knew it, she found herself in the intricate weave of caves that ultimately led out to the sound and to a forest she had only seen from the outside. From there, and without having run into another soul, she began the trek home.

It is when she nears the border of Sleeping Dragon that she realizes just how long she’s been gone.

Thuringwethil makes her way through the geyser field to two erupting in the distance, followed by a third. Most of the time, the field is quiet, but this bright, starry night, the activity is noticed. At first, she wants to think of them as coincidence, but she recalls the activity of the geysers after the ground shook some weeks ago. Her ears flatten upon her head as she continues to make her way through the field until she makes it to the cave she first found Gyda many moons ago. It has only been a matter of days since the woman and her mate departed and even if she hasn’t been around for the absence, she still feels the same nostalgic pull.

Heda lingers for a moment at the entrance, wondering if she’d made the right decision after all, but she finds most of her anxiety settling in her chest. The dark woman heaves a slow, shaky breath before she lifts her nose and lets out a gentle song that asks for nothing more than to be heard.

Wildfire had begun seriously contemplating doing something stupid, like marching up to the grotto and demanding to know if they had kidnapped her wife or maybe running all the way across the wilderness to bawl into her mother's arms over the aching hole in her chest. Fortunately for everyone that might have been impacted by such mad whimsies, Wildfire included, the commander's howl cut through the frigid night air in time to stave off any particularly terrible decisions.

"Thur!" the Bandrona shrieked at the wall of the cave they shared, instants before she burst from its mouth and began pounding her way toward the borders, ignoring the ache in her left thigh. She tripped over her own feet in her haste and fell hard on her elbows, scuffing them on the cold earth, though she barely stopped moving before she was up and off again. When she spotted the Heda's silhouette lingering near the geyser fields, outlined by the shadowy entrance to a cave, she shot in that direction like a bullet from a gun.

She didn't speak when she toed to a stop beside the commander, just thrust out her smudged muzzle to sniff, then nose, then nip and lick every inch of Thuringwethil she could reach. She smelled salty and wild but she appeared to be in one piece. A sigh of relief gusted out of Widfire's breast before she flung herself against her much larger mate, clinging to her and crooning a note that clearly said, I missed you.

The most logical place to go from there is her den but she doesn’t. She loiters near the lagoon for a while before eventually she’s wandering as far as the field will allow and a flash of red is spotted ripping through the night. Her ears swivel upon her head as she watches her mate descend into the geyser field until she’s nearly on top of her. Thuringwethil braces for the impact but she barely notices much as she feels the girl’s snout move through the motions. Her own lowered and she curls herself to embrace the woman, tugging her close to her chest and trying to settle the frantic search.

“Moba,” she murmurs into Wildfire’s fur, nuzzling against the back of her head and burying her face into her fiery coat. Her tongue laps at the back of one ear as she pulls from her grip and licks the side of her face before she smooths over the tussled fur between her eyes. Thuringwethil swallows the new lump in her throat and takes an unsteady step back, feeling a tremor that makes her stance a little wobbly. She recollects how little she has slept or eaten in the las few days and her eyes close as she wills herself to steady, firming her stance with a shake of her head and tightening of her jaw.

When Thuringwethil clutched her all the more tightly, Wildfire went boneless in the larger woman's grasp and she finally found her voice again. "I was so worried," she breathed into the commander's dark fur, relishing in the warmth and intimacy of their embrace. Then, rather abruptly, she stilled and then slowly withdrew. With a few blinks, she stepped back to put about six inches between them.

"I was so worried, Thur. I was beside myself! How could you do that to me? Just disappear without a word? Do you know how crazy it made me? I thought about marching on Larksong Grotto to see if they'd kidnapped you!" The words flowed out of her like lava, the eruption as loud and fiery as the real thing. "First Gyda and Gav! Then you just vanish! Don't ever do that to me again!" The Bandrona finished her little tirade with a pointed look that was offset by what could only be called a pout.

Quite possibly before the Heda could react to any of that, her lip quivered horribly and the yearling sprung back against Thuringwethil, rubbing her face against her mate's throat. "I'm sorry—I didn't meant to yell at you—sorry—don't ever do that to me again..." Wildfire begged.

Darkened eyes rest upon the woman as she begins to spill words out into the air. She watches the breath billow in front of her mate’s face as she does her best to listen. With ears tucked against the back of her head, her eyes briefly drop. Her heart clenches in her chest and lurches into her throat once Wildfire is pressed up against her once more. Words pile up against her tongue but she does not open her mouth to speak or answer the questions she’s given. Things settle into silence between them as she begins to curl against her mate once more, holding her close, using her as extra support as she fights her tired legs.

Thuringwethil is thankful in that moment they do not live in Seageda. She may not have met Wildfire if she did, but on the off chance it had been destined, she knows her life is often more in danger. The Wilds offer little threat, even with the grotto against them, but there is no doubt in her mind they could not drive the pests out if they needed. She nods a moment later, bobbing against the back of her beck and whispering a soft: “I won’t.”

Thuringwethil pulls away a second time and nudges Wildfire against the face as if it may cheer her up. Her own expression changes little throughout but she isn’t sure she has the energy if she tried. A flicker of her lips is all she manages of a smile.

She halfway feared rebuke for her hot words, yet none came. Thuringwethil only cradled her and Wildfire sighed deeply, once again letting her weight settle into the commander's warmth. For several long moments, they just stayed like that, pressed together, warm despite the subfreezing temperatures. All the gnawing, aching hollowness that had developed in the Bandrona over the past two or three days filled again.

Eventually, she drew back a little and noticed the weary look on the Heda's face. "Stay here," she said softly. "I'll be right back." Without another word, Wildfire reluctantly withdrew and trotted away through the geyser field, disappearing behind a screen of wispy steam as she headed in the general direction of the nearest cache.

When she returned a quarter of an hour later, there was a stiff dead squirrel trapped in her jaws. She set it gently at her mate's feet, then snuggled up close again. "First, you eat," the Bandrona said, all commanding gentleness, "and then you tell me where you've been the past three days. You smell like the ocean," she noted even as she slipped her smudged snout into the longer fur at the base of the commander's spine and began to affectionately groom it.

Wildfire speaks again and Thuringwethil opens her mouth to question but her mate has darted off into the dark without giving her a chance. She follows her form until she can no longer see her and she eventually moves close to a geyser where the ground is warmer. There’s a half-hearted attempt at making herself comfortable but she knows if she closes her eyes will fall asleep. Instead, she fights against the urge to lower all the way and she keeps her head up, eyes moving lazily from one thing to the next until she sees Wildfire materialize some fifteen minutes later.

She stares at the squirrel for a moment, but she focuses on the other’s movement as she gets close with her own set of instructions. It isn’t the comfort of their cave but no one else has come upon them—nor does she suspect them too—and so she lets herself visibly relax and drops to devour the rodent in a few bites. It doesn’t settle well at first and Thuringwethil takes slow, calculated breaths. “That is where I’ve been,” she confirms flatly. Some of it is a blur but she remembers the emotion, the dreams. Her waking moments had been automatic and without her control. Another geyser erupts in the distance.

“I think something bad is going to happen,” she finally says, shifting so that she can better see her mate.

Thuringwethil was often a woman of few words. Now was no exception. She confirmed that she had been to the seaside and the ranger's brows furrowed thoughtfully. Wildfire nodded minutely in acknowledgement, wondering if there was more to come. Her mate did add something else, albeit not any further details about her unplanned expedition. Rather, she said eight words that were ominous in their weight.

"What do you mean?" Wildfire asked quietly, meeting the commander's gaze briefly when it settled on her face.

What do you mean?

Thuringwethil frowns and flicks her gaze away. She isn’t entirely certain what she means. The feeling is difficult to explain. It happened once before, when Seageda had grown weak, but she had the help of her council to decipher what needed to be done. Here, she isn’t granted such a luxury and so she has to put her faith in those she has chosen to be around her that they can help guide them in the right direction.

“I just—” she hesitates, wishing to find the words to explain what she means. “It is a feeling. My dreams have become more vivid and I haven’t figured out what they mean.” She worries she will find the meaning too late when whatever happens has already happened and the damage is done. She knows she needs to find out soon, before winter hits them full force, or else they may lose their options.

Thuringwethil mentioned her feelings and dreams. Wildfire's lips pursed and she said nothing for a long moment. She wondered how her mate's disappearance played into any of this. It was all so... ambiguous. With the commander back, the Bandrona personally felt more at peace than she had in days. She wanted nothing more than to take Thuringwethil back to their cave, snuggle up against her and get some sleep.

But now there was a new, sharp edge to everything. "Maybe it has to do with my hormones." It was a shot in the dark but Wildfire's emotions and behaviors had been rather erratic lately. "I'll do better to try and control it," she murmured to herself, suddenly feeling very guilty. What if that was it and her mate had needed to get away for a few days? That thought made Wildfire's insides feel hollow.

Her brows knit together when Wildfire tries to target the blame toward her and Thuringwethil leans in, touching her nose to her cheek to try and comfort the thought away. Things had been different with Wildfire’s mood and the changes she is going through. It had not been the same for her but that isn’t anything to compare it to. Nor does she suspect the new behaviors to be the problem.

“I do not think it is you,” she says. She’d once told Wildfire about her dreams, and her predecessor speaking to her through them. They’ve grown far more vivid these days but it isn’t obvious to the current Heda just yet. When things were far more complicated than she could piece together, she had subjects that helped tie the pieces together: historians, advisors, and the rest of the council. While she trusts Wildfire and Dio, there is a separation from what she needs and what they can give her. “Whatever it is, it is not far off. Just promise me you will be careful.”

Her mate quickly reassured her with soothing words and a gentle nudge. Wildfire let herself accept these gestures and their meaning. She could still make an effort to wrangle her emotions, though it was probably a little self-centered to think she was the sole source of any problem.

The Bandrona bit her lip, eyes cutting to Thuringwethil's face at her quiet warning. "I will," she said swiftly, automatically. Wildfire paused, then added, "And you stay close. Please?" She didn't think she could handle another random disappearance. As if to stave off the thought, she snuggled closer to the Heda, letting her cheek rest on the larger woman's powerful shoulder.

Whether or not Wildfire trusts her word, Thuringwethil will take it. Her hormones hadn't even been considered but perhaps they aren't helping and causing her to feel on edge. She's typically separated from these things and her own is controlled by herbs but she'd gone through it without the aid. Without a properly balanced pack, she can't ask for much, but perhaps it'll come time to talk to Portia about what she may know. Generations of healers and scholars have prepared her for this but their absence is sorely noticed. With a sigh, Thuringwethil nods her head in promise as she grooms Wildfire where she can reach until they both settle in for sleep.