Neverwinter Forest little light of mine

all welcome!! hoping for some siblings.
attn: @Nuala @Finín @Ciarán (+ @Sullivan for visibility)

abba! she cried, can someone hear me? her forelimbs stretched anxiously toward the warren’s wall while she struggled to free her hindleg, bitterly cursing el-elah whom she trusted were listening.

liliana resented herself for being unable to remember which dens were nearby. simmik? or, uh.. aibreann? her voice was beginning to waver as she lost hope, no longer certain that anyone would be bothered to respond.

Miriam was but a doll of her holy self. She was always a doll, but a beauty in the moonlight, her face only changing upon those who were near. She was once a maiden of the Orchid, full of curiosity and life. How she adored the outside world, and all there was. The thoughts to heal those of the darkness, and the fundaments of simply exploring what she did not know-

but the world was truly dark.

Even with the light brought forth from the darkness they were born from, her little children, and even they one by one, disappeared in the ink blotch. And she blamed herself, for not watching Asmoses come venture out more and more into solitude before finally; he disappeared. And even upon her search with failure, her daughter too, decided to dip in away that she once knew.

Miriam could not tell who was dark and light- everything seemed but a gray world. Even her own eyes, lifeless, and a husk of what she was. Skinny and without eating, the mother wasted away in the den with the occasional check up from @Caerus, but even then, she unwillingly would eat, and continued wasted away from the attempt of the berries. 

Of course, no one would let any near after that incident.

Only one did, she thought to hear the sound of a laughter. It brought her mind to but a light place when the two children would roll and play within the den, and coming out with but hopeful eyes, eventually, did those same eyes disappear. It brought a new, rare smile to Miriam's face, and she strode out to her den.

There was something driving her, maybe the Goddess for once, heard her call. Only now could she but pray for alls safety, and wither away in the dens claim.. And the Horned God, may he be blessed, to protect them as they grow older.

Pure chance she come across her daughter but trapped in a thicket of traps, but she called no one but the father that Miriam once cursed long ago, and finally, came to the realization it all but the devils ploy to tame her to the darkness. Forgiven and forgotten, but a sadness to build up that not even she was worthy of any to call her name Amma,, much less Miriam.

But it was her own child, whom she would never abandon, even if the other thought.

Weakly so did Miriam lurch forward from behind, her paw gingerly trekking away the hindleg that was caught- but because of her weakened state, it would take some time. It reminded her but a time when they were more mischevious and wandering out.. And she never did know, who taught Asmoses curse words.

there didn’t come any response. liliana sighed and leaned forward to rest her weary head against outstretched limbs, deciding that she should rest to preserve her energy until help came. and eventually, it did.

not you, she mocked, seeing miriam’s weak figure approach. yana lifted herself upright, continuing to watch with displeasure, then flinched forward as they touched. stop it, she quietly commanded, you’re hurting me.

her voice lacked its usual edge, and eventually her stature did, too. liliana allowed miriam to nearly finish digging her foot from its trap before adding, i don’t think i can walk. already, before even being freed, she could tell that her injury was more serious than it might have looked.

"I'm sorry," she gently apologized while continuing to remove the brambles. At this point Miriam was used to Liliana's dislike over herself, and could say no more. Her heart was already scorned and broken by the fact she wasn't even a mother to the other, but in the last attempts would try to act so, even if she did not deserve it. It was how the Goddess would deem, and even scorned and hated, spat upon, in the end; she was the one to give birth to her so,

and would lay down her life for her young.

"I am no medic," she quietly said, "but I know a little." Surprisingly so, the minimal knowledge that she knew from her blurry mind would come to play. Goose grass. Long ago did Caerus and herself discover such remedy, and surprisingly so, would come to use. He did say no one was too young, but Miriam still felt she was passed the prime to be any caretaker, much less to her own daughters.

"Shall I call for them y-..?" Miriam bit her tongue, "instead?" like any amount of wind would knock her over, but she managed to move over to but a brush of the grass, and motioned her paw toward the healing remedies. It looked but of regular grass, but she also knew the truth on the matter.

liliana winced, then looked away from her mother. it’s okay, she said, do you know what to do? her ankle throbbed as it began to swell; she could tell that it didn’t look good without bothering to turn and look.

there was only one medic that yana knew of, and that was her eldest brother whom she had no interest in seeing. instead, she told miriam, not if you can help me. she didn’t have the physical or emotional energy to fight, not again.

i can’t.. i can’t move it. liliana bit at the inside of her cheek as she shifted down onto the ground, a whine escaping her lips with the sudden release of pressure. what are you going to do?

minor PP

She swipped some of the grass up and gently chewed so, grossly as it tasted for the bitterness, but it only thing she really tasted in quite some time. It faintly reminded her of hunger, though Miriam always rejected anyone who brought food to her den- for she only wanted to sleep. It was a wonder, how she was even out, but the laughter she heard once haunted her so.

A sign she would normally say, but the maiden was not concerned over the matters of spirituality at the moment, but the factor of medicine that was to play. Upon chewing more, and thinking thoughts, she spat it out on her paw. It wasn't a pleasing sight, but from memories served it help as not only a soothing, but to help the swelling of wounds and cuts. Caerus had his own paw to use it on.

That was the extend of her knowledge, and she was glad to be able to help her daughter in some way, even if she had failed so. Her daughter could not move and only wiggle, so perhaps she was able to put the mush of grass directly to wear the swelling is, and winced lightly at it. Faint of heart, she hoped it would not further hurt nor' scare Liliana so, especially as she already gone through so much in this lifetime.

"I'll stay with you until you can move." The appliance was put, messy or not, but to be left there until further time until a wound would feel better. She very much wanted to curl alongside her daughter, hold her gently and coo' to but a pleasant dream- but she could not carry her anymore, especially with her bone-like stature, and nor' could she force herself upon the other anymore.

She knew now, distance of praying was all she could do now.

Instead, weakly so, Miriam shakily laid across the ground.

there was some undeniable guilt that came with watching her weakened mother lie down at her feet, but instead of confronting it head-on with an apology, liliana turned away to face the nearby canopy. her ankle continued to throb, very much unhelped by miriam's remedies, which served as a distraction from her own conflicting emotions. 

finally, having allowed a pregnant silence to permeate between them, yana thought to speak. why are you starving yourself? she asked, voice low and unsure, is it to hurt me more, so i have to watch you die slowly instead of all at once? then, as an afterthought: i hate it when you cry. please don't.

"I am not," offering a low smile, she assured Liliana it was not the purpose. Thinking of Jackalope and his persistence, "I'm not that hungry recently." Her stomach always seemed to be empty, but moreso her heart and soul felt empty that eating simply was forgotten, and unneeded. She never felt that much to feast anymore, and often let food lay to waste as time went on. Only times would she take, but everything felt sensitive to her fragile stomach, that there was times she would throw it back up.

"I wont die, the world didn't seem to let me fall yet," drifting toward Caerus who pumped her stomach, "there is always a destiny to follow, i'm not sure what it will do with me." All but suffering and sorrow, and yet she wanted to sleep it all away; but the Goddess wouldn't let her. 

"do you still intend to leave?" She asked quietly to the daughter who wanted to join the glen. Miriam could not directly look at Liliana when she asked this, instead focused her snow-gaze toward the injured paw, a slight thought to what else could be done.

you're a liar, liliana remarked. it was a non-accusatory statement that asserted nonetheless what she thought to be true, whether or not she was correct. feeling that familiar anger that came with being lied to, she found herself forgetting the pain in her ankle.

she listened to her mom continue, finding that none of it made sense. miriam was trying to deflect, but she always did, so it didn't come as much of a surprise. why did you have kids if you weren't sure that's what you were supposed to do? yana asked, hoping for an honest explanation.

the focus shifted its uncomfortable weight back onto liliana. yeah, maybe, she replied, i need to find asmoses. if not for their resemblance to one another, liliana thought she might have forgotten his face completely. but abba is here, so i can't go too far.

"Sometimes.." It hurt. Miriam inhaled deeply before giving a long exhale, as the moment reminded her of the moment she watched the red berries before her paws, and disappear the sweetness onto her tongue. A blurry world with but a darkness, before bringing back a life and seeing those around her. An escape, but a failure, "it's hard. To try and save one when I failed, and to protect the other; but in the end no one is happy, not even I."

Everything she held at the palm of her paw was but a pill of regret. If she never left Neverwinter to look for Asmoses, perhaps Liliana would not hate her so much as she does now, only desiring to leave and stay away from her.. But if she didn't, Miriam would always regret the factor of never looking for him, and maybe then, her daughter would be upset she never did.

"I don't regret having you two, and I never will. You are my joy in these lands where I knew nothing about. My own Amma was scared for me to leave and begged me to stay, but when I finally turned of age, I left to see the world." Her own Amma crying and begging for Miriam to stay was always within her mind, especially as she has her own kids. The heartbreak she had was now understood by the mother..

"The only thing I regret is not being strong enough, to the point the Goddess ignores me so.. Perhaps though, she is looking after Asmoses." That was the only hope she was gaining through the empty signs. The magic that there was but a dull factor, and all could Miriam do was pray that the force was instead looking after her son.

If that was the truth, she would give any enlightenment she gained through this lifetime, to give to her children.