Cerulean Cape laughter of the past

The ocean had scared Esma in the beginning. It had seemed so big, so strong and endless at the first glance that it had taken her many attempts to approach it and not jump back in surprise every time waves touched her paws. Step by step she had dared to walk so far as to have the water touch her knees, then elbows and in a moment of recklessness she had allowed her paws to leave the safe and solid ground and allow the water carry her. But just for a moment, because it is not easy for a forest wolf to befriend and trust a completely different element. 

While waiting for John's return she had dared to wander further and further away, until one day she did not know, how to get back, and when she eventually found the very same place, all scents and traces of wolves, who had been there once, had disappeared. She had expected to feel fear and anxiety, but she felt calm instead. Esma reasoned that, if John's god wished so, he would find her again. Like he always did. 

In the meanwhile, she filled her time, digging through debris that the waves had brought ashore, picking up pieces of fish and crab and seaweed to keep herself fed. And after that she would bid the endless waters goodbye and move onwards. 

John had decided to slip away, just to let his party know of what was going on. He crossed the land bridge and headed towards the Cerulean Cape, which was close in proximity to the island. There, he found Esma, and a hope that there were no bitter feelings between them, for he had wandered to the island without checking back.

She was digging around in what the surf brought to the sand. It seemed that she was finding food to eat. He strode towards her, “Esma. I apologize for leaving you for a time. I have good news about the boys I have been searching for. But, I wish to know how you are. Is there anything you need?”

John's god worked in miraculous ways it seemed. One moment Esma had been all on her own on the beach and in the next the kind man was standing there and addressing her. Her face lit up and she padded over to him and greeted with the sincerity of someone, who is glad to see an old friend. She had never really understood, what John's mission had been in the first place other than that it had been very important. Therefore she did not hold any grudge against him now. Esma was a person, who mostly lived in the present moment. Past did not bother her and future was a very abstract term. 

"Your god rewarded his faithful servant," she told him, but the intonation of the latter part of the sentence was asked almost like a question. "I am happy to see you being well too," she said. "No, I do not think I need anything. I am good."

He was relieved, somehow, to hear that she was alright, that she wasn’t in need. She had stayed, waited for him, and that made his heart glad, it warmed his soul. “Certainly. And likewise.” He gave a nod and a warm smile, “I am glad to hear this.” 

“I have found the children I have been looking for.” John explain in short, “The sons of my alpha. I am waiting for them to decided whether they wish to return to their mother, or to stay here and choose their own path.”

Right, children! Esma nodded eagerly, remembering now John explaining her, how they weren't actually his by blood, but by relation, friendship. Silence fell between them, having no other details of their names or background, Esma did not know, what else to say. She smiled apologetically at him and looked down at her paws.

Before the stillness grew to awkward, she looked up and decided to ask: "What is your next quest?"

Tag for visibility.

The silence between them was strange, and after enough silence was held, Esma had broke it, asking what his next quest was.

“Should Simeon and Judah, the boys, decide to come back home with me, we will be traveling back to Rising Sun Valley. If not, I will still go back, their mother needs me, and I…. I miss her. She is like the family I left behind when I came here.”

Tears had wanted to prick his eyes, but he turned his head, wiping them on his front leg before they could grow and flood over. 

“What of you, Esma? Do you still wish to explore the land? Or do you wish to return with me? It is up to you, up to your heart.”

He still needed to know what he was going to do with @Boris. His group of followers would soon grow should they all decided to travel together.

Need him? Miss her? 

Esma tilted her head to the side, while she tried to understand, what John had meant by that. She caught the emotion welling up in him, there was a yearning in her to somehow help with that, change it. Yet she realized that she did not fully comprehend, what he had meant by those words. Need how? Miss - why? It was as if they were listening to a piece of music and both of them heard different things. It was almost as if... John was capable of hearing more tunes and harmonies than she did. 

Not wishing to present herself as incompetent, she simply nodded and appeared understanding. Even though John had always been kind to her, she suddenly wished that he liked her. She wanted to impress. And there was fear that by some blunder due to her lack of experience and incompetence, this would change. 

"Return where?" she asked, because of all the things he had said, this was the easiest for her to ask.

The silence between them yet again was broken by Esma. It seemed she had been trying to process what he was saying. This he could tell by her body language, the tilting of her head.

She asked where he would be returning to, and his answer was simple: “Rivenwood. Noctisardor Bypass. Near where I first met you, Esma. When I gave you the ground hog, and we talked of religion.”

“Wherever we go, you and I, I want to make sure you are safe. You -” he paused, hoping that what he would say wasn’t weird, for her, “You have come to mean quite a bit to me.”

Then he stood quiet, the one looking down at his toes, gaze averted. But his words were true, as were his feelings. Whether they shared the same religion or not, he still had a connection. Was it fatherly? Or perhaps that of a master and an apprentice. The details didn’t matter now, as he would listen for her next words.

John's next statement confused her a little. Safe from what? There was no imminent danger Esma was aware of (she cast a quick glance around) and, if in the past unknown had scared her, now abstract concepts of formless danger did not make any sense to her. Still - besides this she picked up, what was the most important here. He cared. This made her smile. It was a nice feeling to mean something to someone. Whatever that meant. 

"This Rivenwood - who lives there?" she asked, because as much as she enjoyed John's company, he had implied that there were other wolves around. And being an introvert on the far end of the spectrum, she was wary of people she did not know well. 

Sorry for the wait, some real unexpected stuff happened on top of working. I think we should start wrapping this up. I don’t want to hold you back.

“Rivenwood’s alpha is Heda Redhawk, a widowed mother, and her sister, Druid. They co-lead the pack as den-mothers and Heda shares the same beliefs as I. There were two of Heda’s daughters, one adopted and the other by blood. The blood daughter, Dinah, has come here, for reasons I do not know and the other I do not know more of.”

Aside from the most important people to him, there weren’t many others who called Rivenwood home. But being that he has been away for a couple months, eventually he’ll find this has totally changed.

“Heda and Druid are very kind, and if you wish to return with me, I’m confident they would make a place for you. A choice will need to be made though.”

It is fine. Life's busy for me as well. :)

John painted a beautiful picture of, what seemed like a happy family with friendly people all around. And part of her heart yearned to go with John and meet them all. It would be the easiest thing to do, the smartest. There was another voice speaking to her, reminding, why she had set out in the world on her own. To seek, where her god was. While she was fascinated by John's devotion to the spirit he had chosen has his own, she was not sure, if was just as appealing to her. 

"I will think about it," she replied after a long pause. "I will find you, when I have decided," she added, so that the man did not lose hope entirely. 

She stood in though, and he watched her, waiting for her response. Even though he hoped she would come, he knew that this was her choice, and that she was her own wolf, of her own mind. 

After a pause, she spoke her response and he smiled a small smile, “Of course.” He sniffled, “I will be waiting, Esma. And thank you, for joining me on this journey.” 

He reached forward, simply touching his nose to her cheek. “Be safe, wherever you go.” If he was completely honest with himself, she felt like a daughter, yet, she was not, and he wasn’t sure if she felt the same way. Until then, he had to let go of his friend. If you love something, you let it go, and if it comes back, it was meant to be. 

He then turned his body around, to head back towards the island. He looked back once more before he trotted away.