August 26, 2015, 12:42 PM
She listened to what her sister said and found a lot of logic in it. Bhreac had thought in a different sort of box than she had... perhaps due to knowing her sister had been alive all this while. Eshe, however, had believed them to all be dead, and had lived for only a month with the cruel hope and belief they were alive only to find out that no, no one was returning for her, they had all perished. To be a beacon had not occurred to her. Eshe had kept the light of her personality, but the truth of it was that her world had turned pitch black. It was only a matter of time before that darkness caught up to her...
But Bhreac truly was a beacon, her beacon, even. Eshe was disappointed in her own thought process and it was easy to see the self-reflection going on and the ultimate conclusion: I'm an idiot. Eshe herself had no cause for optimism, but Bhreac had been able to see her and thus have different hopes than she did. Eshe had given up. The longer she held on and nothing came of it, the more miserable she felt...
What a turn all that had taken.
Bhreac already knew it, but Eshe reiterated, "I didn't think that way at all." She could hardly survive thinking that way for a month when she presumed that being a beacon was pointless when you were a beacon to nothing but ghosts who would never find you. And maybe you'd find them, but only when you were dead. It was strange, because Eshe was never one to give up, persistent and stubborn herself... but death? What could one change about that? She had never imagined this... which meant maybe she ought to hope...
But if they weren't with Bhreac now, Eshe doubted it. The effects of hope were exhausting, and they took their toll... and in not hoping, she was more than pleasantly surprised by the fact that Bhreac was in fact alive. It might be cause enough for some to believe in the others...
This, she would not admit. That it was pointless to hope further. Their luck had been spent in their joint survival. Eshe doubted they had a penny left of it, and if they did, there was no way it would be heads-up. Either way, her sister had a point. On the very, incredibly (to Eshe) off chance any others had survived it... it could help. So she nodded. "It couldn't hurt" was the wrong thing to say, because it could, if none ever caught wind and ever found them... but still, Bhreac could imagine them happy elsewhere. Eshe herself would do what she could not to think of them, but Bhreac herself reminded Eshe of everyone and everything. She dealt with plenty conflicting emotions but thought it best to not deal with them right now.
As for her next words, Eshe could, in fact, empathize with that. "I know what you mean. I couldn't... I couldn't join a pack right away, right when I got here. Someone else invited me to a pack of theirs... I considered it but..." Her mind echoed Bhreac's, at that point. It was only when she heard the howl of pack that she felt inclined to sing along. She was, at heart, a pack-wolf. Truth be told she had thought it might have been Scimitar's pack, but it had not been, and her loyalties were placed down the moment she sang along and found out that none of the lot were killers or bandits. There was some measure of guilt for it, and she wondered at finding Scimitar again... before returning to the more present matter at hand. "Anyway, I heard these guys howling and... I couldn't be alone anymore. It took me a while to realize that... but it hit me when I heard 'em. And it'll be a while before... yeah. But, they're a nice bunch. Maybe it won't be easy but... it won't be the worst thing in the world." They'd already faced that, after all.
But Bhreac truly was a beacon, her beacon, even. Eshe was disappointed in her own thought process and it was easy to see the self-reflection going on and the ultimate conclusion: I'm an idiot. Eshe herself had no cause for optimism, but Bhreac had been able to see her and thus have different hopes than she did. Eshe had given up. The longer she held on and nothing came of it, the more miserable she felt...
What a turn all that had taken.
Bhreac already knew it, but Eshe reiterated, "I didn't think that way at all." She could hardly survive thinking that way for a month when she presumed that being a beacon was pointless when you were a beacon to nothing but ghosts who would never find you. And maybe you'd find them, but only when you were dead. It was strange, because Eshe was never one to give up, persistent and stubborn herself... but death? What could one change about that? She had never imagined this... which meant maybe she ought to hope...
But if they weren't with Bhreac now, Eshe doubted it. The effects of hope were exhausting, and they took their toll... and in not hoping, she was more than pleasantly surprised by the fact that Bhreac was in fact alive. It might be cause enough for some to believe in the others...
This, she would not admit. That it was pointless to hope further. Their luck had been spent in their joint survival. Eshe doubted they had a penny left of it, and if they did, there was no way it would be heads-up. Either way, her sister had a point. On the very, incredibly (to Eshe) off chance any others had survived it... it could help. So she nodded. "It couldn't hurt" was the wrong thing to say, because it could, if none ever caught wind and ever found them... but still, Bhreac could imagine them happy elsewhere. Eshe herself would do what she could not to think of them, but Bhreac herself reminded Eshe of everyone and everything. She dealt with plenty conflicting emotions but thought it best to not deal with them right now.
As for her next words, Eshe could, in fact, empathize with that. "I know what you mean. I couldn't... I couldn't join a pack right away, right when I got here. Someone else invited me to a pack of theirs... I considered it but..." Her mind echoed Bhreac's, at that point. It was only when she heard the howl of pack that she felt inclined to sing along. She was, at heart, a pack-wolf. Truth be told she had thought it might have been Scimitar's pack, but it had not been, and her loyalties were placed down the moment she sang along and found out that none of the lot were killers or bandits. There was some measure of guilt for it, and she wondered at finding Scimitar again... before returning to the more present matter at hand. "Anyway, I heard these guys howling and... I couldn't be alone anymore. It took me a while to realize that... but it hit me when I heard 'em. And it'll be a while before... yeah. But, they're a nice bunch. Maybe it won't be easy but... it won't be the worst thing in the world." They'd already faced that, after all.
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Messages In This Thread
RE: hollow - by Bhreac - August 25, 2015, 03:03 PM
RE: hollow - by Eshe RIP - August 25, 2015, 03:30 PM
RE: hollow - by Bhreac - August 26, 2015, 12:06 PM
RE: hollow - by Eshe RIP - August 26, 2015, 12:42 PM
RE: hollow - by Bhreac - August 26, 2015, 01:53 PM
RE: hollow - by Eshe RIP - August 26, 2015, 02:15 PM
RE: hollow - by Bhreac - August 26, 2015, 02:32 PM
RE: hollow - by Eshe RIP - August 26, 2015, 02:40 PM
RE: hollow - by Bhreac - August 26, 2015, 03:14 PM
RE: hollow - by Eshe RIP - August 26, 2015, 03:25 PM
RE: hollow - by Bhreac - August 26, 2015, 03:41 PM
RE: hollow - by Eshe RIP - August 26, 2015, 03:49 PM
RE: hollow - by Bhreac - August 27, 2015, 01:31 PM
RE: hollow - by Eshe RIP - August 31, 2015, 11:54 AM