Morningside Cuesta sestina ii

tomorrow will be kinder.
tomorrow, all this will end.
I will make right my heart
I will make proud my father
I will make pure my intentions
I will be the man I always dreamed

when I was a child, I dreamed
I would turn into my father
he was a good, kind
man, lion-hearted
well-intentioned —
but it didn't work out that way, in the end.

no, in the end
I was wretched, my heart
twisted into knots and bad dreams
the kind
that makes you scream for your father
and your father will says, "bravery is intention."

but I could never be as good as my father
or, as good as my father intended
to be seen; ends and means, means and ends
(sometimes who he was does not match who he is in my dreams)
maybe we did have the same black heart.
maybe we both struggle to be kind.

These are mistakes I never intended
to make; the kind
that I am afraid I share with my father
the kind that haunt my dreams
the kind that will be the end
of me. It is too much for my heart.

but I shouldn't worry for my own heart
not when there are more on the line, dreaming
that I have good intentions
instead of a selfish end.
but tomorrow I'll be kinder
just like my father

Yes, tomorrow, when right now ends,
I will be the kind of man my father intended
with a heart that thinks instead of dreams.

tomorrow.
tomorrow.
tomorrow.