Bearclaw Valley must they subject even my pain to the disapproval of their gaze?

she knew what he wanted but could not bring herself to touch him.  the cold leather of his nose pressed against one of her cracked pads and she scrutinized him with a steady and formidable gaze.  she did not make to pull away but neither did she give him what he desired.

she felt his upset and her critical staring became softer.  she did not want him to be sorry for her — she didn't know what she wanted.  but his guilt was something that was decidedly not on the list.

but of course she could not understand why he was apologetic, or offer him any respite from the onslaught of sorrow.  it cuts her and rolls through her, and finally when he gestures back at the valley and offers her those inquisitive two-toned eyes she lifts her head and offers a gentle sway of her head.  no.

at least now she had learned that running away was not the answer.  she had resigned herself to submission, that this was just how things were and that she had been in the wrong for doing — well, whatever it was she had done.  everything she had done.  although she still would not yet step foot in the valley she was grossly aware of the protection that it offered her, and her wayward travels would rarely lead her outside the immediate territories. she did not expect to wander into the vast openness of flycatcher downs ever again, or at least not any time soon.

she did not want him to leave.  she also did not want him to touch her or to comfort her because it hurts in more way than one.  she does not want her protector to get too close in part because of the dark man —  the thought of him still causes her heart to beat frantically in her chest, churning her gut and filling her mind with his defilement.  but the other half is something else entirely.  

she does not want to hurt him, and more than anything she is sick of being hurt.  and the easiest way to prevent that for all involved was to keep everyone at.. well, let's see.  paws distance.   a plume of breath, long and drenched in silent pain, escaped from her gently parted jaws and she lifted her paw, pressing it gently across the wide bridge of his muzzle.

---

they spent the day together.  eventually, alexander was able to reclaim a sliver of his raven's trust.