Broken Boulder i can't tell if the want justifies the need

it'd  be easier if alarian fought back -- it'd be easier to hold onto this anger because he wants to hold onto it, wants it to lick every word, wants to ruin whatever it is that is-or-isn't happening between them. but alarian folds under him and takes the heat with him, sucking the passion out of delight's expression, leaving it brittle and cold like a winter storm. like the king elk's corpse in the forest long gone. 

"think about what," he asks harshly. he doesn't want to know the answer he realises as he asks it, but does not take it back -- he deserves a little hurt too. his mouth splits open, something else on the tip of his tongue -- but at the last moment it closes, the sound swallowed back into his throat, hiding in his soft palate. for the moment, for now. he wants to hear what alarian has to offer.