Tuktu Hinterlands Better hold on tight, before you know it's gone

i ended up giving her paralytic rabies in case anyone is curious!

He wasn't sure what he was expecting.  Anger?  Betrayal and jealousy that she wasn't the first? A lot of the girls he'd known in the past would have been, but there was a reason she was here and they weren't.  Niamh didn't even think to compare herself, and he suddenly loved her all the more for it.  Because the two couldn't be compared; he couldn't say he loved her more, or less, than Nell.  They both were different enough, separate enough, to own their own complete spaces in him, and now that he'd finally sorted that out, he was ready to let this place go.

"Worse than anything," he agreed, remembering.  They'd been a fledgeling pack, just the two of them.  So when she took sick, he hadn't been able to leave her, but also had no clue how to help her.  He'd called until his voice went, but no one was around to hear. And in the end, he just watched her disappear.

"Didn't think I'd ever love anyone else like that.  But I do."  He looked at Niamh and a grin replaced the former expression.  "Don't think I've said that yet."  

Then he lifted a paw and put it against the rough bark of the tree.  "That's why I wanted to come back one more time.  Say goodbye proper." It was a trip he'd been planning since even before he met her, but once they were together, it hadn't felt right coming alone.  He could have probably let her know ahead of time but hadn't wanted to spoil the trip there.