Dragoncrest Cliffs i don't know that my mom loves me anymore

she knows nomi must be disappointed in her--and if she isnt yet, she will be--but she accepts the affection, anyway, her eyes briefly squeezing shut. in the face of her heda she deflates, feeling so very like how she used to as a child, still trying to prove herself, desperate and eager. the whole world to her had hinged on getting strong enough to keep any more of her family from being taken from her. and she'd failed--in the worst way, because if mother had been attacked or kidnapped or killed and there could be an honest fight, if blix had just failed against an external force, well. that's one thing.

her mother just.. just leaving her? that's something she knows, logically, she couldn't have trained for--and it's crushing.

"m'sorry," the girl mumbles into nomi's shoulder, slipping into trig. "i shoulda found bat, maybe then they would have stayed." she pulls back, quickly steeling her expression. that's not actually why she called for nomi. in english she says, "but i called you to fill you in on the-- what happened while you were gone, besides.. that." starting with--she straightens her shoulders and sucks in a breath--"furi--mallaidh, now--is here. she found kiwi for us when she wandered off, before bat left, and brought her back despite knowing how we feel about, about..." blix pauses. she'd hidden the fact that she'd met furi during her stint with the girls, not wanting to brand her officially as natrona. she's not about to start now. clearing her throat, she continues, "that was a -- that was a good thing, something i felt that--she's a good warrior and brave and we needed more wolves like her. need more." there. its not the most eloquent defense (when is she ever) but it's real and honest and for furi, she will fight, especially as raw as she feels right now. she just hopes nomi will understand.