Tuktu Hinterlands Even if I knew you'd be my best and worst mistake

I'm jumping the gun but i have too much inspirationnnnnnn.  if I need to adjust things I can, but this is hella vague anyway. Tags are for ref or whatever <3 @Niamh

He went south.  As he had passed the plateau he was almost tempted to stop, let Qui and Frog know where he was heading, or at least that he wasn't coming back.  But they'd figure it out, and they'd do with it what they would.  Fin had her family and he supposed @Quixote did too.  And if he ever was in the area and needed anything, well, Colt would be there.  He just couldn't be here.

He made it as far as the river before he broke down, collapsing in a heap near the tree where he'd initially planned on proposing the first time.  Exhaustion and lack of food played a part, but so did the emotions of the past few days that finally had gotten the chance to catch up.  Now that he'd finally stopped, they overwhelmed him, and he lay slumped and shivering for a good long while, his sides heaving.

It had taken a long time for him to admit to himself, and to her, that he'd loved her, but the facts were that he did.  And even now that he knew he was leaving, he felt himself torn, and he knew from experience that this wasn't going to get better.  It didn't matter how angry he might be at her, he'd loved her despite how fucking young she turned out to be and in the end he'd let her take about everything he had.  But, just like before, he couldn't bring himself to regret it.  The situations didn't compare but the emotions did and at the end of the day, you took what life gave you.  Even if it only gave it for a little while.

He planned to head home, back to what family he had left in the old Blackthorn claim.  It was becoming pretty clear to him that he wasn't much destined for the normal family experience, but he could at least lend a hand to whatever nieces or nephews he may have there, provided his luck held out through winter long enough to make the trek.  He'd made his own share of mistakes, a string of broken hearts and even potential kids that he'd never thought to acknowledge.  Universe probably found this funny, honestly.  He would have if it didn't hurt so damn much.

First he would stay the night here, partially because he couldn't find the energy to get up quite yet and partially because he needed some time.  He wasn't sure why, but this place where it had all somewhat began seemed the place to do it.  Eventually he would drift off to sleep where he had fallen.  The wind had a bite to it but finding shelter would take effort that he didn't have the resources to give right now.