Mudminnow River Born Queen

"It kind of went down-hill from there. A lot of bad things together and even worse timing," Sarah continued her story, grateful that after months with only herself as a company she could open up to someone, who would listen and understand. Terance said nothing and, if he was anything like his sister, then he would keep his thoughts to himself. Like she did until the burden grew to heavy to bear.

"There was so much to do with taking care of the kids, organizing hunts and attempting to relocate, because the draught this summer was awful," she would tell about the three youngest siblings another time. For all Sarah knew they could be dead as well. It had been four months, maybe longer, since she had seen them last. "Then the forest fires began. We should have relocated, when we found out about it first, but mom could not go anywhere and none of us thought about leaving her behind."

"Come to think of it now - this indecision helped no one. One morning we awoke with smoke everywhere and so thick that it had blocked out the sunlight. There was no time left then - we split up. Cori and I led the rest away, dad stayed behind with mom," silence again. Of all the things they could have done differently then and how everything had turned out. 

"Eventually we came to a river and past that the air was clear and the forest seemed safe. And there I decided to turn back. I was so convinced that, if we had come this far and found a safe place, I could bring our parents here too. Cori did not agree on this, there was a horrible row and we did not part as friends, but I felt then that he was wrong, not I," she paused, the memory of this fight still haunting her, of all the accusations exchanged and her pride above everything else in being the smarter, the wiser, the older one.

"I have often thought about this afterwards and I now know that my endeavour was futile, but I wanted to give it a try. I would have had more difficult time living with myself, if I hadn't," she added, guilt in her voice. "I found them eventually," the heat had been barely tolerable, the smokeohad burned her eyes and made her airways raw. And something in all of this had been making her dizzy and sick to her stomach. "Her sleeping side to side with him, both of them peaceful and no longer breathing."

"And I wonder, what exactly had I expected to find... I had been left in charge of my family and I had not kept my word. I had failed them for a selfish, stupid thing," she said. "I should have stayed with Cori and the rest, taken them far away from the fires and instead I left them and went straight into the flames," she had got lost in the smoke, feeling sick and disoriented had been caught in the middle of a raging fire. 

"I did not find them afterwards and I have no idea, what happened or where did they go or whether they are alive and well," she finished her story. "And up until today I have been on my own."