Otter Creek I'll [m]ake your timber shiver

It was a relief to hear the other was not angry, for he could have been mistaken. They had but just met, Adonis knew no different. Yet, it calmed the nerves he did not know he had until the boy assured him. "good, i was beginning to think my.. efforts were not to your satisfaction," he admitted, for he had not beem met with a negative response right after sex before. But it was not long before those same nerved picked back up, and though the words should have reassured him once more, they did not. It was another thing he was to dig deep inside himself and figure out, wether Alexander was worth changing himself for.

"it depends. do you like the idea of having me there or hiding me away?" his eyes met the other's with the same seriousness he did not know he was capable of having until that moment. he knew if he ever followed the boy, there would be no outward introduction to the others of what they truly were, Xan was far to scared for that. For Alexander had made it clear that what had happened, what they were would never reach the ears of another soul as long as they lived. It was something he could not live with for very long, though he was patient, he could not waste his life waiting for the other boy to come around.

Even more, he did not like the idea of following another just for the sake of it; he could not betray his moral instincts for a boy who showed no interest in wanting him while out of the heated moment of sex. He did not want to follow him if it meant being turned away, time and time again; he did not want to live with him in a home that constricted his very nature like it affected Alexander. He could see it in the boy, the uncertainty, crushed by the burden of conflicted feelings he did not understand. There was no certainty it was the upbringing that had caused this confusion, yet that had been the circumstances of Adonis' own youth, and he had no wish to return. 

Yet, there was an inclination, a hesitance that dared himself to take a leap of uncharted faith and follow the boy. It would be testing his luck as well as his heart for sure, yet in a way, it was a thrill he had not felt before. Perhaps, Xan would come to realise sooner that the opinions of others did not matter, that even, they would be accepted. Only time would tell, and until he was certain they boy truly wanted his presence, it was time he was not willing to spend pining for a boy that would never return the affection.