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He thought carefully now, trying his best to push the pain and grief aside, for emotions only ever messed up your thoughts. He needed to make good decisions now, the best ones for the sake of his pack, one that would not bring his pack to downfall. He had been trained to be the best warrior, the best leader, the best son of the gods. He had been trained to always put his emotions aside when making important decisions that would influence those that were his family, that would influence the Bypass. The ashen leader was determined to prove those that doubted him, wrong. Scimitar, Paar, Bazi, the Creek wolves.
Shadow did not seek battle and bloodshed every time, he did not seek to have revenge upon Paar, even if she had left him just to return to Swiftcurrent, he hoped she didn't but it was the most likely place she would go to. He knew she and Scimitar were probably friends, and that they (Bazi and Scimitar) had probably offered her a place in the Creek if she ever came back. And now that she probably did, he wondered if they would think he was the wolf that had caused all this. Shadow admitted it, he knew it was his fault, but that didn't mean Paar was without fault. If she had confronted him like the woman he'd thought she was, he would have done his best to solve it, to make their life work.
Exhausted, both physically and mentally, he propped himself up against the entrance of his previous den with Paar. The Roman couldn't bear to sleep inside again, knowing that he would be once again consumed in grief when her scent hit him. He would never hold her like a husband held his wife again, she had left him and it finally sunk in. Shadow had doubted it at first, even if it was just a tiny bit, but the truth struck him hard in the face. What was love? If it was love that made him ask her to come with him when he was exiled from the ranks of Swiftcurrent, it was going to be the love he still had for her, and always would have, that brought him back to his previous home to find her, if just to talk to her for a few minutes.
The roman exhaled softly and gazed at the rising sun on the horizon, “Ego immolabo multa multi adempte mihi carissimi. Quaero abs te, Jupiter, Neptunus, Pluto. Patres mei. Apollinem et Martem et omnes deos. Me loqui de amore, si habeat ad ultimum tempus." he murmured softly, praying for the guidance of the gods. Shadow began grooming himself, licking his ruffled silver fur until it was sleek and no longer matted. Platinum eyes flashed fiercely and glowed with determination, though grief and pain had darkened his gaze and gave him an aura of sadness. For there was a monster he could never defeat, and that was himself.
Shadow lifted his head and howled, the chilling yet beautiful sound twisting through the air and made sure those who were called for could hear it. When the song was over, he lowered his head again and though he was hungry and thirsty, he did not drink or eat, for this business needed to be concluded and finished before he could do anything. One at a time. One at a time. One at a time.