Dragoncrest Cliffs the patron bird of the vore fetish

Vague AF. Tag for visibility: @Max @Saarthal

Mallaidh finding herself on this side of Drageda borders feels weird, foreign. She’d run away without looking back, without making a single effort at returning. It wasn’t until @Blixen washed up on the plateau that she’d even entertained the thought. She’d been offered the chance to come back and though she scarcely believed it, she’d clung to the hope somehow.
 
It kinda helps when you save the current leader’s baby sister, too.
 
Regardless of how she finds herself back in Drageda, she does not immerse herself right away, somewhat terrified of running into @Wildfire (now that she does not have to worry about the wrath of Heda any time soon). As Mallaidh keeps her distance, she lingers on the eastern borders. In the distance, she can see the tree line of the tangle. It has been a long time since she has visited by she does not go for it, instead trying to keep close to the pack for once.

there is some babyish part of blixen that thinks they will fall back into old routines overnight; she'll wake up and meet furi and go along the borders together like old times. happy times, except now she wonders if they were happier  for her than for her ex. funny how memories can twist with the weight of revelation.

but of course that isn't how the world works. blix is busy with her new duties and furi does not need her. furi has max and saarthal. blixen finds she doesn't mind, not really. the three of them are capable and helpful to have in the ranks (and like she'd say no to cute girls anyway). if mother does not approve of furi rejoining blix does not want to know -- she'd never told nomi she was natrona and as far as she's concerned no one deserves to be in drageda more than furi.

when she catches wind of her on the border, as if materializing in the wake of her thoughts, she hesitates. the last time they'd talked alone had been... clarifying, but blix doesn't know exactly where they stand now.

but she's never been the kind to hold back, now has she.

"hei!" the young commander calls, briskly trotting toward the silver caped girl, "can i join you?"

Through the scents of the border, she can tell who is still here for the most part. Eske’s scent has started to fade. Étoille’s too. It has been months since she’s seen either mentor and she’s too late in reuniting with them, uncertain she’ll actually ever get to see them again. Even if it had been just a goodbye before their departure, it would have been enough.
 
Artaax’s scent is still there, with Dio and some newer scents she can’t pull from memory. New wolves have shown up in Drageda, new puppies she hasn’t met yet. It’s a whole new pack, more or less, as Blixen is leader in place of their Heda.
 
Her head jerks when she hears something behind her, locating Blixen quickly enough.
 
“Hey,” she responds without matching the excitement. “Yeah, if you want. I’m just trying to get used to things again.”

furi does not chase her off, which she takes to be a good sign, coming to stand near her. "things are pretty different now, huh," blix agrees, putting her ears back sheepishly. she feels a little embarrassed, though she can't say why. it's strange to think that technically she has authority over furi now -- though, if she's being fully honest with herself, somewhere deep down she'd always considered herself slightly higher than the other girl, if only because she is native drakru and furi is not.

maybe if she'd listened to furi sooner, a lot of strife could have been avoided. 

but the young commander doesn't dwell on it -- furi came back to her eventually, and brought good people with her. she likes max and saarthal. she keeps waiting for the same spark of jealousy she felt towards rose; it has not come. "i know i keep saying this, but i'm glad you're back," blixen says, laughing a little at herself. how the hell do you socialize with your ex-best-friend-turned-ex-girlfriend-turned-maybe-friend-again?

To call things simply pretty different is a drastic understatement. Half the wolves she knew before are gone, replaced with others she doesn’t know. Having Max and Saarthal with her makes it a little easier, a little more like home, but she’s only lying to herself if she admitted it was back to normal. Or that Drageda felt like home. Again. After all? She doesn’t know anymore.
 
She gives her friend a tight lipped smile and nods. Yeah. Pretty different.
 
“It’s like… a whole new place,” she explains. “Except I know where everything is.”
 
Mallaidh begins to walk the familiar path along the borders. Little has changed that hasn’t been expected seasonally. She remembers certain trees and turns, the familiar markers; it’s hard to forget something that’d been so routine.
 
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you, for a long time,” she starts and licks her lips. She does not hear her mother’s voice, but she can feel it, sitting in the back of her mind. I can do this, she thinks to her mother. “My name isn’t Furi. I mean, it’s my name—uh,” she stammers, turning to glance to the side. Her chest tightens, caged by the awkward start of her conversation. “My real name is Mallaidh. Mallaidh Furiosa Fearghal.” A deep breath releases, having been sitting behind her ribs for months. Months. That is my name. She sets her features as best she can, a bit of a smile, a bit of pride, and a lot of uncertainty in expectation.
 
(That is your name. It is a good name.)

she understands what furi means even if she probably doesn't. things are different for her but she is still grounded -- drageda is her culture, her home, and even without nomi blixen belongs here. furi is.. furi belongs here of course but it is different. easily she falls into step beside the other girl, biting her tongue for a moment. now that blix has lost her once she is anxious of repeating her mistakes and pushing her away. 

thankfully the silence between them does not stretch. my name isn't furi, says furi, or rather, says mallaidh. mallaidh furiosa fearghal. "i didn't know you had a last name," the commander says dumbly. mallaidh furiosa fearghal, she repeats quietly to herself, committing the whole thing to memory. "so do you want me to call you mallaidh?" she asks, uncertain in her own way -- not because the information fundamentally changes anything about her, but because it seems... important that furi -- that mallaidh is choosing to share it with her now.

Mallaidh nods a little. There’s a lot Blixen doesn’t know and she debates whether or not it’s a good time to spill literally everything or if it will break her brain to absorb it all. She’s only been living as herself once against for a few short months and has hardly had to think about how she should act. Anxiety tends to warp her sensors but she’s able to fight them as who she is instead of trying to run away by being Furi.
 
“I don’t know,” she says, thinking about it. She’s used to responding to Furi, had seen herself as such for so long, and she’d likely continue if someone called her by the alias. There are wolves still in Drageda that know her as Furi and newer wolves that do not. “I think it would be good to, so everyone else does but, you know, I don’t mind when it’s just us,” she explains. Or with Artaax, even. They were a beastly trio, once upon a time. Mallaidh smiles at the thought.
 
As she fights with indecision, she tries to clear her throat and her thoughts at the same time. “You know, if it wasn’t obvious, I’m ready to be friends again. I wouldn’t have… come back, if I wasn’t. And, um, there’s a lot more I want to say, too, if you’ll listen. It can be whenever if you don’t want to now or anything,” she adds, laughing a little awkwardly to fill in place of silence.

blixen nods easily. "mallaidh, then," she says -- it seems less challenging to be consistent, instead of trying to remember when she should say furi or not. then again, the instruction makes furi seem almost like a pet name and... well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

even if fu -- mallaidh's next statement makes her heart skip. "t-thank you," the redhead says, almost bashful, "i -- um, well obviously, me too. but yeah, yes. you can always tell me anything," blixen adds earnestly, "anytime." now would be great, in fact -- but she's still scared to push too much, in case furi gets spooked and leaves again.

She can’t exactly call it relief when Blixen decides to only use her actual name. They’re moving forward and leaving the past behind but she’d quietly wanted to hold onto something. She focuses on the positive, the fact she’s so willing to move ahead with her. Nothing will hold them back now.
 
A little uncertain if she wants to continue now, or later, Mallaidh takes a deep breath. Doing it now will get it out of the way; getting everything all at once like a bandaid. Then they can really move forward. They can start small and build their way up, but her chest feels like it’s going to burst if she doesn’t.
 
“I remember my family and where I came from,” she starts, glancing over, “well, sorta. What I can remember, I guess. A few months ago, a bit before I… left, I found my sister and brother. They were staying at a pack on an island south of here. And before I came here, I ran into a… my, um, little sister. I’d never met her before, but she’s there too. My littermates aren’t anymore, but I have family kinda close. What’s left of it, I mean.” Her throat tightens and though she does not expect anything but support from her friend, it’s difficult to say. Drageda holds memories in every corner f her shoving everything off that she’s here for the first time as Mallaidh, starting over. Maybe that’s what she needs after all.
 
“I haven’t visited them yet. It was, um, it just happened with Reed, I mean. I wasn’t ready to go back. But maybe soon, once things kinda settle down,” she adds with a side of seeking permission that it’ll be okay to travel somewhere else for a few days.

furi -- mallaidh blessedly does not leave her wanting. blix's eyes widen as she speaks, starting to grasp why the girl had left them. another thing she'd been blind to, spoiled by her own family, by her distress at her mother's disappearance, as though furi had not been basically orphaned when they met. they'd talked about it briefly, but never deeply. she can't resist reaching forward to bump her nose against f-- against mallaidh's shoulder, a small gesture if she'll allow it.

"oh," blix says, and then, "yeah, of course," not exactly following but sensing it is important to encourage her. curiously she tilts her head and asks, "your sister and your brother -- what are their names? and reed is uh, your little sister?" dumb to say but it's hard to imagine other versions of furi running around -- what was her family like, she wonders, what is this reed like? for the first time she really realises that furi had a family and that she was torn from that family and that family continued without her (in whatever way) -- and wow, that must be really weird for furi. for mallaidh. "how are you feeling then?" blix blurts out before she can help herself, her tail thumping nervously against her ankles.

The bump to her shoulder causes her head to turn and smile a little. She hadn’t really known how the conversation would go but Blixen taking the time to listen is nice. Months ago, she never thought they’d be here. She never thought she’d see her again, much less actually be residing in Drageda once more. She isn’t clear from the lingering anxiety or the weird things that go through her mind she can’t put words to, but maybe things will be a bit easier. Blixen has changed. So has she.
 
She straightens up a little bit.
 
“Reed is my younger half-sister, yeah, and Dromon, I think, is her littermate,” she explains, feeling a swell and hard thump of her heart. “Eirlys and Ceallach are my littermates, and… um, well there’s Roarke but none of us have seen him since before, um,” she tries and shrugs off, unable to continue. “But I feel okay, I guess. I don’t have to pretend they don’t exist anymore, so maybe it’ll be okay?”

oh, wow, furi has a lot of siblings. not that it's odd -- blixen has a lot of siblings now, too. it's only odd in the wake of this sudden realization of furi's life outside of drageda. outside of her. she feels very small and fragile, suddenly, but so, so eager to keep furi's attention. mallaidh's attention. (mallaidh, mallaidh, she reminds herself.)

"oh," she repeats, this time at the mention of roarke -- who, she guesses, must have gone missing before mallaidh did. or something. it doesn't seem like her friend wants to talk about that though, so she lets it go, tilting her head a little bit. "yeah, maybe," she agrees, her voice dropping, softly, "but.. why did you have to pretend they didn't exist before?" the redhead hopes -- worries, maybe correctly, but hopes -- the answer isn't because of her.

It feels weird to say so much about her past, her family, and everything else she’s stuffed down that maybe it’s… too much. Blixen asks questions and she is quiet about them for a moment, focusing on her steps as she considers why she did not talk about them before. Maybe some of it was because of Wildfire and that whole thing, she didn’t want any unnecessary spotlight, she didn’t want to put her family in danger, a lot of the same excuses she’s used between then and now are brought up.
 
“I don’t know. I was a kid. I was scared. And then, you know, all that stuff with your mom and Étoille told me what they’d do to him if the other pack found out about him and…” she trails off with a shrug, a sniff, and a readjustment of her shoulders as she steadies her footing along their patrol.

blixen's immediate reaction is what, that's crazy, but she bites her tongue. if furi felt like that, she thinks, maybe there's a reason, even if the comparison to blackfeather rankles her. still she can't let it go, either, running her tongue along her lips as she tries to think of a way to phrase it. she decides on, "étoille was staying in enemy territory," and gives mallaidh a sideways glance, not quite able to keep the (maybe judgemental) question out of her voice. 

she knew mallaidh'd been unhappy but -- did she really view them as bad as blackfeather? or -- hell, though. with blixen's running her mouth about outsiders, maybe it wasn't completely unjustified. would she have cared if fu -- mallaidh spoke up about her past? no, probably not -- but maybe that itself is the problem. "i'm sorry for um, if i made you feel that way at all," blixen says, eventually, though she can't help but squint and add: "but i wouldn't have -- none of us would have been upset with you for anything, or anything like that."

Mallaidh opens her mouth to explainbut finds her teeth clicking together. Étoille had been in a different situation but they still thought he was someone else, with different motives, and though she did not have anything against Drageda trying to be someone she’s not, she couldn’t shake it. Explaining it now when she knows better won’t make it any easier. It doesn’t matter anymore. Mallaidh is Mallaidh, now, and she knows herself as much as she’s going to.
 
“It’s okay, it’s not like you knew,” she says and turns away, looking ahead. It has always been her fault, hasn’t it? She should have spoken up well before now and maybe things would be different. Saying them know won’t change any of that. “I was just a scared kid.” No less scared, no less a kid, than she'd been before.

blixen is not used to hesitating but all she does around mallaidh is hold her breath, so, so intend on thinking through. it's a good thing, it has to be -- but it is also strange, how much concentration it takes. eventually it'll become easier, probably. nomi would be proud of her for trying.

still her hesitation does not undo her impulsive nature. the young commander steps forward, pressing her nose against mallaidh's shoulder reassuringly (for which of them?) "still," she sighs, "i think you were right about a lot of things, about me. about us in general." the word -- us -- stumbles from her mouth, caught on the lump in her throat. is it okay to talk about? is it okay to reference what they were? maybe, maybe not. before it can become not okay she blusters forward: "anyway, i know now, so, thank you for sharing." blixen pulls back, just enough to offer a winsome grin, and hopes furi returns it.

Mallaidh slows to a stop when Blixen touches her, turning her head a bit and closer her eyes. It isn’t everything she wants to say, but she’s doesn’t have it in her to keep going. For now, she just nods her head and smiles. It’s a start. They’ll learn more together over time, now that they’re together again. It’ll be okay, in the long run, and understanding both sides they can surely only grow.
 
Nothing bad will ever happen again.
 
Well, she knows that’s not true but a girl can hope, right?
 
“Thank you for… everything,” she says and leans into the other girl.

mallaidh doesn't pull away -- instead she leans in closer and blix's heart does sommersaults. all she's wanted since she left was for her to return and though their time apart was not that long, to blix's summer-soft teenage mind it felt like eons. but now that she's back the commander is going to do everything in her power to hold onto her. and if she can be so lucky, maybe one day -- maybe they could...

"love you," she mumbles, more like lmfu, as if she's afraid saying it will chase furi off but -- she wants to say it anyway. needs to say it, maybe. just a reminder: hey, i'm here, i def still have feelings for you, we can work on that whenever you're ready. if you're ever ready. (she hopes she'll be ready sometime.)

Blixen turns into her and mumbles something. She thinks she knows what she says but she ignores it, brushes it off as incomprehensible, and allows the fiery girl to remain. Mallaidh turns a bit and takes her into an embrace and closes her eyes. Being with Blixen brings back all the memories and hurt but she can’t deny the connection nor how hard Blixen is actually trying. She wants to talk to someone and ask questions and figure things out. Why can none of it be easy? 

Slowly, Mallaidh pulls away with a slow breath and smiles, nudging her onward to finish the patrol.