Hushed Willows Missing my keys and my car is here.

@Lily

Khali had been around the territory lately doing duties other than trying to watch pups because so far, it wasn’t cutting out for him. Everything that happened with Ibis had made him worried he’d never be the father he would wish his children had, future children anyway. It really had been poking his mind lately that maybe he wasn’t good enough. The thought had always been shook but today he was just worried, too worried.

He thought it would be a good idea to discuss the burden with Lily and see what she thought. After all, they were mates now and he wanted to confide in her as much as possible. Khali knew that her Leadership duties had had her out and about lately but that didn’t stop him from looking for her. He threw his head back and let out a soft song calling for the beautiful black bird. Hopefully this conversation would have a good outcome and shed some light on his bad thoughts.

Funny how things worked. She had been looking for Khali (read: her player was putting up a thread for Ama) when his call rang out. Lily trotted happily toward the sound, breaking into a run when she saw him and half-tackling him (knowing it would be like tackling a wall, at her size). She nuzzled his face and licked his cheek before noticing something in his face.

Some kind of shadow, she thought. She didn't like the look of it.

What's up? she asked, cocking her head. I actually was going to call for you--good timing. I miss you. She wagged her tail, blinking softly at him. Easy to get lost here. It's bigger than the land around the Boulder.

When Lily came into view the sandy man couldn’t help but paint a giant smile on his face. It was weird that he could now freely express whatever feelings he had. It wasn’t like it used to be where he bottled them up, he decided this was better. A big tail wag greeted his mate. He was lucky to have her, she was so amazing, and he wanted nothing else in the world.... well almost nothing, world peace but who was he kidding.

”not much I have been patrolling and trying to do whatever duties need done. I have missed you as well, I haven’t seen you a hot minute. Speaking of hot..” he chuckled and winked at her. “It is much bigger but much more beautiful? “ he said in more of a questioning way. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, kind of why I called you and took you away from your leadership duties. “ he said not super nervous but a bit scared.

She snorted at his joke, butting her head gently against his shoulder. At his closing remark, she twisted her head to look up at him, brows raised. Don't worry about my duties. They're not so bad, and you can come find me anytime. I'll make the time. She pulled back and settled half a tail-length away from him, chin lifted slightly. What is it?

Well, now she was slightly nervous. Something in his demeanor had changed very subtly, from comical to serious. Lily didn't have the faintest inkling of what he was about to say. She shifted impatiently on her paws, gritting her teeth and waiting for his response.

Khali smiled at her head against his shoulder, any touch from her sent his heart through the roof. “That’s good to know, I always get myself worked up about coming to see you as the duties you hold are of the most importance. The only thing to me that is important is you, and the pack.” The only two things he had ever held close to his heart were Lily and the pack. He would’ve gone crazy without them and their help. 

“My interaction with Ibis didn’t go as well as I thought it would... and now I’m thinking if we ever had our own children would I be a dad that I want to be? It seemed like I had scared her and I don’t want to do that to ours.” He said finally getting the weight to be lifted from his shoulders. It seemed that every time he talked to Lily something in his life was resolved and he was thankful for that. Hopefully she understood his feelings about this.

God, he was way too good for her. Wasn't he? Both his faithfulness and now this concern over something that wasn't going to happen for a little while yet, if not longer. She didn't know what he was talking about, with Ibis, but she thought maybe it wasn't as big of a deal as he made it out to be.

Ibis has been through a lot, darling, Lily murmured, blinking slowly at him. Really, she was just relieved that the problem wasn't with them. I think she's scared of her own shadow, right now. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

She twisted to sit by his side, pressing against him with a rumble in her throat akin to a purr. You're going to be a wonderful father, she whispered, grinning. I have all the faith in the world in that.

After hearing from his love that he would be fine as a dad and that Ibis had had some issues made him more confident that he would be a good dad. A small sigh escaped him in relief of his worries. A smile formed on his lips as he nodded at Lily, she was so good at making him feel better about anything. "I'm so glad to have you in my life Lily, you truly are one of a kind." he said and nuzzled her.

The mention of him being a father made his heart flutter in excitement. He hoped to be the dad he never had and show his pups the world and give them just that too. "Youll be an amazing mother also. They will be so caring." he said putting his head over hers in a hug like state. How lucky he was to have her to calm him and give him the world.

I know, she shot back, a teasing smirk stretching her face, foxlike. She butted her head against his shoulder, tail wagging. No one in the world quite like me. My father used to say that, she explained, eyes growing softer. Darling, there's no one in this world quite like you. Sometimes he meant in in a good way, sometimes not, the blackbird added with a chuckle.

Lily smiled at his vote of confidence in her, nestling close to him once more. I hope so, she sighed. My parents were so wonderful. If I can be half the mother mine was. . .I'll be satisfied. Hell, she would even take a quarter. But setting the bar high might just get her there.

She twisted to look at him, expression inquisitive. If you had children, what would you name them? she asked.

He loved hearing what her father had said about her because it was so much the truth. Lily was one in a million quite literally to Khali. He nodded at her words and chuckled in a good way at the last part of it. Hes very much right, but to me you're always in a good way Khali smiled at her after saying it.

Khali loved that they were growing so close, talking about things that he thought he'd never be able to talk to someone about. When she nestled closer he nuzzled into her fur lovingly. Youll be amazing he whispered to her.

The question had caught him off guard a bit. His eyes wondered to the sky and he let out a "hmmm". Khali had never thought about kids, much less a mate and now he wants to think about kids and has a mate. It used to be a dream for him an now it's reality. I'd like to think that when we see them, we would know what name fits them he smiled at her as his eyes came down to look in hers. He was honest with his answer and hoped she would be happy with it.

You're just saying that, Lily teased, giving a firm but playful nudge to his shoulder. You've never seen my bad side. Did she have a bad side? Certainly everyone did. He'd seen her at her lowest point, when she'd been speechless, but whether or not that was bad. . . Ah, well. All up to opinion.

She grinned at his answer, nodding slowly. That's probably the sensible thing to do, she remarked. Though. . . She trailed off, her fiery eyes clouding over, slightly, as memories surfaced within her mind. A boy named Cameron. Cam for short. The litter after mine, my mum had three pups--Roger, Layla, and Cam. Cam didn't make it, the blackbird murmured, looking down. He died very soon after being born.

So Cam, for my baby brother that never was, Lily decided. And for a girl. . .Lanawyn. Lana. For the sister I always wanted, whom I'll miss always. She had given it some thought, and it felt. . .right. A proper way to honor Lana and Ali, both departed, but for much different reasons. Her dear, dear friends here.

Khali shook his head to contradict her. I dont think I want to see that side of you. I dont want to anyway. he said softly and nudged her back playfully. A chuckle escaped his throat afterward. She had seen him at his worst point in life, after he had come from Muguuzi. Khali was grateful for her and all that she had done for him since he had come to the Sanctuary.

He knew when she said 'although' she had an idea, one that he would love because all of her ideas were amazing. His ears perked so he could listen closely to what she was going to say to him. As she explained the names to him his heart beat started faster. It seemed as though the names were perfect, were a gift from Lanawyn and Cam wherever they are now. A toothy smile ended up on his face as he brought himself a bit closer to her. His head hung over hers softly and he embraced her tightly before saying, Those names sound so perfect for our future little ones.

He was sure that whenever they had pups that the blackbird and himself would be the parents they aspire to be. It seemed to good to be true right now but he hoped it wouldn't change. Lily was so perfect and the thought of little ones running around with her made him think that dreams could come true.

It hadn't been meant to be persuasive, but he seemed convinced regardless. She nodded, snuggling into him and relishing the warmth of his pelt, a bulwark against the bitter winter cold. They would be fine, right? They might not know all the tricks, but they were loving, and dedicated. Any prospective pups could certainly do worse, as far as parents were concerned.

It'll all be fine, Lily murmured, half to herself, watching her breath billow out into fog on the chilly air.

last post from me darling <3

Khali smiled at her and then held her close to him. He hoped the warmth from his body kept her warm as well. His eyes caught sight of her breath in the air as the night was chilly. Everything right then and there was all he could ask for.